"Valentine Vigilante: Part II" is the 3rd episode of “CuldeeFell Shortz! Season Two” and the second Valentine’s Day special created by CuldeeFell13.
Script[]
SYNOPSIS - While Heart Head is hanging out with his friends, Purple Head is back for revenge and will do anything to take back his job as the Valentine Vigilante. So, he exposes Heart Head to get him fired but he doesn't get hired either and is replaced by another version of Heart Head. Now, Heart Head and Purple Head need to team up and stop this clone (?).
NOTE: This short takes place after MarioFan2009's upcoming story, "The A Huge War Rises Up Duology".
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After the Huge War
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(It starts off with Heart Head and Sunny watching TV)
Goodman: Breaking news, Mkay! The huge war that up-rised is finally over. People are trying to recover from the mess after the events of (SPEECH CENSORED DUE TO SPOILERS FOR AHWRU).
Heart Head: Man, I'm glad that war is finally over!
Sunny: True. Man, this city never catches a break.
Heart Head: True. Say, where’s AsphaltianOof, Azaz and Buckaroo?
Sunny: Azaz and Asp went to go bowling. I don't know where Buckaroo is.
Heart Head: Okay then. Well, I am gonna go for a walk. I'll see you in a bit.
Sunny: Okay!
(Heart Head leaves. However, what he doesn't know is that Purple Head is watching him)
Purple Head: There he is. That man who stole my job and defeated me in the huge war! I'm going to make him pay after what he made me go through by (CENSORED SPEECH). I will get him done no matter what! Then, Badman will see how better of a Valentine Vigilante I am than HE is! Let's go through Phase 1. Having a little chat with Badman.
(Purple Head runs off. It cuts off to Badman at his secret lair watching TV)
Goodman: BREAKING NEWS, M'KAY! Heart Head, the Valentine Vigilante has done it again! There has been signs at the love festival that someone was vandalizing pictures of hearts. It will take millions of dollars to fix this paintings. And now for the weather!
Badman: Terrific! Heart Head is still doing great! Destroying all that love and making me a lot of money!
(Badman goes to look out the window)
Badman: Soon this city will be mine and Mario and Goodman will rue the day they messed with me!
(Suddenly, there is a knock on the door)
Badman: That must be Heart Head back from his long day of love destroying!
(Badman opens the door only to be greeted by Purple Head)
Badman: PURPLE HEAD!?
Purple Head: Hello, Old Boss!
Badman: But I don't understand. I thought you were (CENSORED DIALOGUE) in the huge war!
Purple Head: Yeah, well, I was able to escape that.
Badman: So what are you doing here?
Purple Head: I just wanted to ask kindly if I could be hired again.
Badman: Sorry bud, but you got fired a year ago. You got beaten up by Heart Head and I cannot have a weakling like you working for me!
Purple Head: Well, is there anyway I could get my job back?
Badman: Nope! Unless he gets fired again, I cannot do that.
(Purple Head hears those words and thinks)
Purple Head: Hey, Badman, do you have a camera?
Badman: Uh yeah. I'll go get one.
(Badman leaves and comes back with a camera. He gives it to Purple Head)
Badman: Anyways, GOODBYE!
(Badman slams the door shut)
Purple Head: Alright, Heart Head. Time to get you fired.
(Purple Head then runs off. It cuts back to Sunny's place)
Sunny: Man. It's boring around here without the others.
(Azaz and AsphaltianOof then enter)
Azaz: Hey, Sunny!
AsphaltianOof: Hey, Flower!
Sunny: Hey, boys! How has bowling been?
Azaz: It was hilarious. Especially the part when Asp tripped while trying to bowl and accidentally hit his skull on the ball while yelling, FINLAND!
AsphaltianOof: Shut up. It's not funny.
Azaz: F*** you. I think it's hilarious.
(Buckaroo is seen falling from the window)
Buckaroo: Hey, fellas!
All: Hey, Bucky!
Sunny: Where have you been?
Buckaroo: Oh, I was just hanging out with my brother (Mat). So where's Heart Head?
Sunny: He left to go for a walk.
(Heart Head then comes in)
Heart Head: Hey, fellas!
All: Hey, Heart Head!
Heart Head: While I was walking, I was able to rent the “Iron Flower” movie! You guys wanna watch it?
Buckaroo: Sure. Imma go make popcorn!
AsphaltianOof: I wanna make some!
Azaz: Me too!
(The three run off)
Sunny: I'm excited that the “Iron Flower” movie is now on DVD.
Heart Head: I know. We can finally watch it at home instead of going to the theater a thousand times.
Sunny: True.
(Purple Head then hides from under the window)
Purple Head: Okay. Time to get this son of a b***h fired!
(Purple Head then records Heart Head and Sunny. Buckaroo, Asp and Azaz then come in with the popcorn)
Buckaroo: I got the popcorn! This is gonna be an awesome movie-
(Buckaroo then trips on a Sprite can)
Buckaroo: AW CRAP!
(Buckaroo's popcorn bowl falls)
Buckaroo: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!
(Heart Head grabs the bowl saving it)
Heart Head: Gotcha!
Buckaroo: Thanks, Hearty!
Heart Head: No probs. Now let's watch this movie!
(The five then continue to watch the movie. On the film, it starts off with Metal-Fell entering a dark room)
Metal-Fell: (movie) That's right everybody. It's your favorite boi!
(Onion Cream is seen holding Human Meggy at gun point)
Onion Cream: (movie) Get the f*** out or I will shoot Human Meggy in the f***ing face! I swear to god! I'LL DO IT YOU B***H! GET OUT! I will pop her!
(Metal-Fell brings out a jar of golden dirt)
Human Meggy: (movie) Don't give up my life for a jar of dirt!
Metal-Fell: (movie) Will you pop this jar of dirt?
Onion Cream and Iron Flower: (movie) "gasp"
Onion Cream: (movie) Put that glass of dirt down right now! You know what dirt does to your tastebuds!
Metal-Fell: (movie) I like what it does to my tastebuds, Onion Cream!
(Metal-Fell walks over to him)
Metal-Fell: (movie) And you know what? That's what's gonna give me the strength to-
(A bacta tube falls onto Metal-Fell)
Metal-Fell: (movie) WOAH!
Iron Flower: (movie) CULDEE!
Onion Cream: (movie) You thought you were gonna escape and I knew you were gonna burp in here, so I had to put up a f***ing seal.
(Onion Cream presses a button causing the tube to turn into an escape pod making Metal-Fell fly away)
Human Meggy and Iron Flower: (movie) CULDEE!
Metal-Fell: (movie) Talk about a low budget flight.
Onion Cream: (movie) Now, I will control the universe, and everyone will be ode to watch “Splatoon 2” lets plays by Onion Cream! NOW GET IN THE F***ING ROOM!
Iron Flower: (movie) Shoot me you f***ing coward, DO IT! You won't! I have no reason to live any more now that my jar of golden dirt is gone!
(Onion Cream and Iron Flower start fighting)
Onion Cream: (movie) I am going to make sure that you watch my vine compilations!
Iron Flower: (movie) I will never watch your vine compilations because they SUCK! You pick all the bad vines!
Human Meggy: (movie) I'm just gonna hang out in the corner here and watch. Just don't shoot me.
(Iron Flower kicks Onion Cream in the crotch causing his left over dirt to fall over his pocket)
Onion Cream: (movie) MY DIRT! I WAS GONNA USE THAT FOR MY VEGGIE GARDEN! I'm taking them back!
Iron Flower: (movie) Give me that dirt!
(Iron Flower grabs the nearby dirt and eats it)
Onion Cream: (movie) NO! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!
Iron Flower: (movie) It's my dirt now, Onion Cream!
Onion Cream: (movie) Sunny, listen to me. I know who your mother is-
(Onion Cream brutally coughs and falls to the ground dead)
Iron Flower: (movie) Don't you f***ing lie to me!
Sunny: Man, don't remember seeing this scene in the theatrical version.
Heart Head: Well, I actually rented the “Director's Cut”, so some stuff might be new.
Sunny: True.
(Onion Cream then breaks through the window)
Onion Cream: GIVE ME YOUR F***ING MONEY, FLOWER W****!
Sunny: Aw crap!
(Heart Head shoots Onion Cream in the kneecap)
Onion Cream: OOOH! OH MAH GOD! F*** ME! AGGGGGGGGH!!
Sunny: Well, that's what you get for trying to rob us!
Onion Cream: Listen! I know who your-
(Onion Cream coughs brutally and falls to the floor dead)
Sunny: Thanks for the help, Heart Head!
Heart Head: No problem! What are friends for?
(Purple Head stops recording)
Purple Head: Alright! I got enough evidence! Now, to get my job back!
(Purple Head sneaks off. It then cuts to Badman at his house. He is watching TV when he gets a knock on the door)
Badman: Who could that be?
(Badman opens the door and Purple Head is there)
Purple Head: Hey.
Badman: Hi. What do you want?
Purple Head: I'm here to give you proof on why you should fire that red-headed son of a b***h (Heart Head)!
(Purple Head gives Badman the camera. Badman plugs the camera into a VCR. It shows Heart Head and Sunny watching TV)
Badman: Hang on. What is Heart Head doing!?
Purple Head: Keep watching.
(Buckaroo is seen walking up only for him to drop his popcorn bowl)
Buckaroo: (video) NOOOOOOO!
(Purple Head catches the bowl)
Badman: D-did he just help that anthropomorphic horse with his F***ING POPCORN?!
Purple Head: Keep watching.
(Onion Cream then breaks in, only for Heart Head to shoot him in the leg killing him)
Sunny: (video) Thanks for the help, Heart Head!
Heart Head: (video) No problem! What are friends for?
Badman: DID HE JUST SHOOT THE ALMIGHTY ONION CREAM!? WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIM!? OH, HE IS SO DONE! "sigh" I can't believe he would betray the villains!
Purple Head: So can I get hired back now!?
Badman: Just... get out of here while I think about it.
Purple Head: But-
Badman: GET OUT!
(Purple Head runs off. It then cuts to 3 hours later. Heart Head is seen leaving Sunny's house)
Heart Head: Man. The Directors Cut version of the Iron Flower movie was AMAZING! I'm going to have to see it again some time soon!
(Heart Head then walks up to Badman's lair. He knocks on the door. Badman opens it)
Badman: Oh hey, Heart Head. Glad to see you.
Heart Head: Hey, boss! So, you wanted to see me?
Badman: Yep. I had to tell you something that you may not like.
Heart Head: What is it?
Badman: Well, you're fired.
Heart Head: WHAT!?
Badman: Yep. It's true.
Heart Head: Did you find another replacement!?
Badman: Well, yes, but that's not the point! I saw a video that Purple Head gave to me!
(Badman plays the video that Purple Head gave to him)
Heart Head: H-HE RECORDED THAT!?
Purple Head: That's right loser!
Heart Head: WHERE DID YOU COME FROM!?
Purple Head: Now that you are fired, I can get my job back!
Badman: Not exactly!
Purple Head: Told you- WHAT!?
Badman: Sorry, Purple Head. But you're not getting your job back either.
Purple Head: BUT WHY!?
Badman: You got beaten up by Heart Head, and I do NOT want a weakling working for me! So I'd like to introduce you to my brand new replacement. (To ???) Come on out, buddy!
(Suddenly, a black version of Heart Head with red eyes, spikes on his shoulders, wrists and sharp teeth on his mouth comes out)
???: Who are these pimps?
Heart Head: HEY!
Purple Head: I take offense to that!
Badman: I would like to introduce your replacement, Dark Head!
Dark Head: Sup?
Badman: Unlike you two, Dark Head loves no one and has never lost a fight before! So you two can go buzz off!
Dark Head: Yeah! Scram!
(Heart Head and Purple Head look at each other with sad faces and leave)
Badman: Now, Dark Head, for your first order of business, go hunt down and destroy love!
Dark Head: I won't let you down, Almighty Badman.
(Dark Head leaves. But while he leaves, he "accidentally" tramples Heart Head and Purple Head)
Dark Head: Sorrrryyyy. Hehehehe.
(Dark Head disappears)
Heart Head: (muffled) Oh, how humiliating.
Purple Head: (muffled) Tell me about it.
(It then cuts back to Sunny’s house)
Buckaroo: So, how do you think the villains of the Huge War are doing?
AsphaltianOof: I could care less about them.
Azaz: Agreed.
(Suddenly, hard knocking is heard from the door)
Sunny: I'll get it!
(Sunny walks over to the front door. Heart Head is seen with tears in his eyes)
Sunny: Hey, Heart Head? What's wrong?
(Heart Head falls to the floor and starts sobbing)
Heart Head: I got fired. AGAIN.
Sunny: Oh dear.
(Purple Head walks up)
Purple Head: He's having a hard day.
Sunny: You!? What are you doing here!?
(Buckaroo, Asp and Azaz come in from all the noise)
Buckaroo: Well, looky here.
Azaz: The purple bafoon decided to come back!
AsphaltianOof: Let's get him!
(Heart Head gets up)
Heart Head: NO!
Buckaroo: Huh?
Heart Head: We both got fired.
Purple Head: And we both got humiliated.
Sunny: Well, come inside and make yourself at home!
Buckaroo: Sunny, are you seriously gonna let that purple bafoon come in!?
Sunny: He had a rough day. I'll make an exception for him just this once.
Buckaroo: Fine. (To Purple Head) But we got our eye on you!
Azaz: Try anything terrible and you'll regret it!
Purple Head: I-I know.
Sunny: Let's go.
(The six go back inside)
Sunny: So, who replaced you this time?
Heart Head: Some dark version of us.
Purple Head: His name is, "Dark Head".
AsphaltianOof: What's with all the different versions of you! If you all look the same, shouldn't you be like, brothers or something?
Heart Head: Honestly, I never thought of that.
Buckaroo: Well, why don't you try to get your job back again?
Heart Head: Well, that may not be possible, because Dark Head looks really strong and Badman knows about my... secret.
Sunny: Secret!?
Purple Head: I was able to give proof to Badman that Heart Head was friends with you guys to get him fired.
Buckaroo: YOU DID WHAT!?
Sunny: Calm down.
Purple Head: I did that so I could get hired back, but Badman didn't want a "weakling" like me to work for him. So now, Dark Head will replace us.... forever.
Heart Head: But I do not want that dark bafoon getting away with replacing us!
Purple Head: True. Do you know what year it is? People do NOT take kindly to Karma Houdinis.
AsphaltianOof: Well, you guys should go beat him up!
Heart Head: Yeah, but... I’m scared. He is a literal dark version of us. He has red eyes, sharp teeth, and spikes on his shoulders!
Purple Head: Well, maybe you’re just too much of a p***y to face him off.
Heart Head: WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY PUNK?!
(Heart Head and Purple Head start beating each other up. AsphaltianOof places a nearby bets booth)
AsphaltianOof: Place your bets here.
Sunny: Will you two quit it!?
(Sunny grabs the two and forces them to sit on the couch)
Sunny: If you guys want to defeat that dark-headed freak, you'll need to work together!
Heart Head: I am never working with that purple-headed bafoon who took my job in the first place!
Purple Head: I am never working with that red tomato c*** who got me fired in the first place!
(Human Meggy and Beta Tari are seen entering the room)
Human Meggy: Hey, guys! What's up?
Beta Tari: Is that Purple Head there?!
Sunny: Yes, but don't beat him up. He's had a rough day.
Purple Head: Who are these unsuspected characters?
Human Meggy: Well, my name is Meggy! But since there is already a person named Meggy in this universe, just call me Human Meggy.
Beta Tari: My name is Tari, though I am the beta version that got thrown away a while ago, so call me Beta Tari!
Purple Head: Well, nice to meet you two.
Human Meggy: So, what is he doing here?
Heart Head: Well, he got me fired from my job for exposing my secret to Badman, but he didn't get hired as well. So, now we just give up.
Buckaroo: Well, maybe we can help you get your jobs back!
Heart Head: Wait, really?
Purple Head: You're actually gonna do that?
Azaz: Yeah! We gave Heart Head a chance, maybe it wouldn't hurt to help you as well PH!
Purple Head: Gee. Thanks!
AsphaltianOof: (to Human Meggy and Beta Tari) What about you two?
Beta Tari: Well, we don't like villains...
Human Meggy: But we'll be happy to help!
Heart Head: Noice! So what's the first plan?
Azaz: You'll see!
(It then fades to the Valentine's shop from the first “Valentine Vigilante” episode. The gang appear hiding behind a bush)
Purple Head: What are we doing waiting here exactly?
Sunny: Shh! I see someone! Quick! Hide!
(The gang hide in the bush. Dark Head is seen walking up to the Valentine's shop)
Employee: Hi! Welcome to the-
(The employee realizes who it is)
Employee: OH, HELL NO! NOT AGAIN!
(The employee goes and hides in a closet)
Dark Head: Well, that was easy. Now to trash this place!
(Dark Head trashes the Valentine's shop while the gang watches)
Beta Tari: Dear God.
Human Meggy: He must really hate everything related to Valentine's day.
AsphaltianOof: So what now?
Heart Head: I'll go confront him.
Purple Head: I'll go too. We are both Valentine Vigilantes.
Heart Head: Alright. Let's go!
(The two run inside to confront Dark Head)
Dark Head: Well, well, well... if it isn't the two losers who I got fired. Here to praise me?
Purple Head: No.
Heart Head: We are here to beat you up and get our jobs back!
Dark Head: You really think just because it's 2 against 1, means that you can defeat me? Pah! You two are nothing but weaklings and clowns.
Purple Head: He just stole that from SMZ Luigi.
Heart Head: True! Let's get him!
(Purple Head and Heart Head fight Dark Head. While fighting, they destroy most of the shop)
Sunny: Oh, not this again.
Human Meggy: Could they just fight less destructively?
(Dark Head then beats up both Heart Head and Purple Head)
Dark Head: This is the part, where you DIE!
Purple Head: Well, Heart Head. I guess this is it.
Heart Head: Wait a minute.
Purple Head: What?
Heart Head: I just realized something. Maybe we could work together to defeat him. I mean, all we are doing is just shooting in one direction. You shoot at one side, I'll shoot at the other!
Purple Head: I guess we have no choice. Let's do it!
(Purple Head crawls off while Dark Head aims his gun at Heart Head)
Dark Head: Time.. to... DIE-
(Suddenly, Dark Head gets shot from behind)
Dark Head: GAH!
(Dark Head falls to the floor dead)
Heart Head: WE DID IT!
Purple Head: YEAH!
(The two high five)
Purple Head: Wait. Did we just high five?
Heart Head: Looks like it!
Sunny: Noice!
Buckaroo: WOOP WOOP!
AsphaltianOof: THREE CHEERS FOR HEART HEAD AND PURPLE HEAD! HIP HIP-
Beta Tari: Ok, calm down guys. It's not like they cured cancer or anything.
(Heart Head then notices wires coming out of Dark Head's bullet holes)
Heart Head: Wait.
(Heart Head grabs a sharp piece of debris and cuts off Dark Head's face revealing an endoskeleton)
Heart Head: WHAT THE HELL!?
Purple Head: It's a robot!
(Suddenly, clapping is heard. Badman then comes out from the shadows)
Heart Head: B-Badman!?
Purple Head: What are you doing here!?
Badman: Well done, boys. You teamed up to destroy my robot!
Heart Head: But why?
Badman: Well, Heart Head, I knew about your friendship with Sunny and the others ever since then.
Heart Head: Wait. You did!?
Badman: Yep. I made this robot so I could get you two to work together. I thought it couldn't work considering you are rivals to each other, but I was wrong! As a result, you two are rehired as my Valentine Vigilantes!
Heart Head: Wait, really?!
Badman: Yep! From now on, you will work together to destroy love!
Purple Head: YES! I got my job back!
Heart Head: But, why would you want me back when you knew about my secret?
Badman: Well, while you were working, you made a lot of enemies and I’m glad to see that my old pal is getting friends. So, I'm completely fine with that. Besides... it reminded me back when I wasn't always a bad man.
Heart Head: Woah.
Badman: So yeah. See you guys later!
(Badman leaves)
Purple Head: Well, thanks for the help, you guys.
Heart Head: True!
Sunny: We'd always be out there for a friend.
Purple Head: Thanks! So, we cool now?
Buckaroo: Yeah. We cool!
Purple Head: Thanks!
AsphaltianOof: Hey! You should come over to Sunny's sometimes! She's got great stuff and is willing to do anything for you!
Purple Head: Cool! I'll be there at 10:00 PM tomorrow!
(Sunny's eyes then twich. It then cuts to outside of Pensacola where Sunny is heard screaming in anger. The episode irises out)
Trivia[]
- As of after “A Huge War Rises Up”, Purple Head is now an on & off villain just like Heart Head.
- This marks the end of “The Valentine Vigilante Trilogy!”.