Doggone Cats!

"Doggone Cats!" is a 2018 MarioFan2009 story. Some cats came in into the house and stole all of the house's food. Mario decides to get a professional dog because Poopy Butt is paralyzed.

Script


WARNING: This story may have some violence and swearing.

NOTICE: This is my first ever story starting Poopy Butt/Shitass.

NOTICE 2: This story takes place before the events of Jeffy's Bad Dog!.

NOTICE 3: This story will be put in the "Red Ribbon Reissue Program".

It starts with Mario sitting on the couch while Poopy Butt is coughing on him.

Mario: Poopy Butt stop it!

Jeffy comes in

Jeffy: Hey daddy!

Mario: Hey Jeffy! Get your stupid dog off of me he is coughing on me!

Jeffy: Sure! Hey Poopy Butt.

Poopy Butt: (Makes gross noises)

Jeffy: (He grabs Poopy Butt) We gotta go, daddy doesn't like you!

Mario: WHA--- Ugh!

Jeffy: Lets go

Jeffy takes Poopy Butt downstairs.

Jeffy: Alright Poopy Butt, you can stay here! I'm gonna go upstairs and play with Junior!

Poopy Butt stays on the couch making gross noises.

Over through the window can be seen two evil cats planning to break in steal some food.

Cat 1: Hey high! You see that Dog over there?

High: Yeah yeah, I see him Grodo! He looks sick!

Grodo: Yeah, and we are gonna break in and steal some food!

High: But how?

Grodo then pulls out his claw nails.

Grodo: My nails are used like keys often! We shall be able to enter in there!

High: Oh goody!

They silently open the door and enter in the house.

They pass through the living room with wood planks for defense.

Poopy Butt: (Starts making noises because he sees the cats)

Grodo: AHHHHHHHHH SHADDUP!!! (Smacks him with the plank)

Poopy Butt goes unconscious.

The cats then enter the kitchen where Chef Pee Pee is seen cooking.

Chef Pee Pee: (Humming) Ah, these dishes are finally done! Now I can go take a break!

High then knocks out Chef Pee Pee with the plank.

Grodo: Dude! Why did you do that?! We don't need to get rid of everyone!

High: Sorry...

They then open the fridge and take all of the food. (Including Woody's shrimpos, Black Yoshi's leftover KFC chicken and Shrek's cheesecake)

They then leave the house with no food bits left behind.

1 hour later...

Shrek is seen entering the kitchen.

Shrek: Oh donkey! Sara Lee cheesecake!! Here I come baby!

He opens the fridge to find out everything is gone.

Shrek: What the?! OH MY GOD DONKEY!! WHAT HAPPENED?! WHERE IS MY CHEESECAKE!! DONKEY!!! (He runs upstairs to go find Mario)

Mario: Sigh, I guess I will watch some TV.

Black Yoshi then comes in.

Black Yoshi: Oh no you ain't!

Mario: BLACK YOSHI!!

Shrek then comes in

Shrek: DONKEY!!!

Mario: What Shrek?? What seems to be the problem?

Shrek: DONKEY! There is nothing in the fridge! My cheesecake is gone!!

Mario: Wh--- ALL GONE?!

Shrek: Yes donkey! Everything is gone! There's is no cheesecake or anything inside!

Black Yoshi: Wait? What about my chicken?

Shrek: It's not in there!

Black Yoshi: WHAT?! FOLK!! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Mario: What?! I think it's that mouse again! Ughhhhh! I'm gonna go check!

Shrek: Hurry donkey!

Mario goes downstairs and he is surprised to find the kitchen empty.

Mario: AH-- AH--- AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! WHAT THE HELL! WHAT JUST HAPPENED TO ALL THE FOOD!!! MOUSEE!!

Mouse: (Comes out of his hole) (Sigh) What ya want? I was taking a nap.

Mario: ALRIGHT YOU! I KNOW YOU TOOK THE FOOD!! GIVE IT BACK!!

Mouse: What are you talking about? I haven't even touched the fridge yet...

Mario: THEN EXPLAIN WHY THE FRIDGE IS EMPTY?!

Mouse: EMPTY?! OH NO! I'm gonna starve!!

Mario: Wait what? You did not take anything?

Mouse: No!! I did not!! I overslept and I was supposed to go to the fridge today!

Mario: Wh--- then who could have done it?!

Mario then goes to the living room and finds that Poopy Butt has been knocked out.

Mario: What the heck? Poopy Butt?

Poopy Butt wakes up.

Poopy Butt: (Makes gross noises)

Mario: Poopy Butt what happened??

Poopy Butt: (Tries pointing to the leftover tracks the cats left)

Mario: WHAT THE?! Ohhhhhh... It was a robbery! But wait, how could robbers come for food instead of money? I'm gonna go check... (He comes and looks at the tracks to find out they are actually cat footprints) Ah ha. So some sneaky felines came over and stole over food... You know, I could have used them to catch the mouse but... Wait never mind that failed BUT ANYWAYS!! I gotta get me a do-- Oh wait, I think I have Poopy--- NEVERMIND AGAIN. He is paralyzed! I gotta get me a strong dog. Guess I will have to call the pet shop...

Mario then makes a phone call to the pet shop.

Brooklyn T. Guy: Hello, this is the pet shop.

Mario: Hello, can you send me a bulldog please?

Brooklyn T. Guy: Alright, It will be there in 5 minutes.

Mario: Ok.

5 minutes later...

A doorbell ring is heard.

Mario: That must be him. Coming!

Mario answer the door.

Brooklyn T. Guy: Yeah, here is your bulldog. He is very aggressive though so be careful.

Mario: Alright just bring him in!

Brooklyn T. Guy: Ok.

The Bulldog is released and it has a very mean look on it's face.

Bulldog: (Growls in anger)

Mario: He is perfect! I will take him!

Brooklyn T. Guy: Alright, that will be 10 dollars.

Mario: Here, 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10.

Brooklyn T. Guy: Guess I will see ya.

Mario: Bye!

Later that night.

Grodo: Alright, lets hope they have more food for us!

High: Yeah!

They silently enter in the house but the Bulldog finds them and looks at them with a angry growl.

Bulldog: (Growls in more anger)

High: You know Grodo, maybe we should leave...

Grodo: Yeah... RUNNNNN!!!!

The Bulldog starts chasing them around the house breaking numerous objects.

The cats eventually get out safely without being killed.

Bulldog: (Growls and slams the door on them)

High: You know, that was a close one!

Grodo: Yeah! I'm never going in that house again!!

High: Me too!

The Bulldog is seen sitting on the couch to which side Poopy Butt is coughing.

Bulldog: (Growls)

Poopy Butt: (Makes gross noises)

The Bulldog however grabs him and starts taking him outside and kicks him out.

The Bulldog then slams the door on him.

Poopy Butt: (Coughs in sadness)

High: You know, that guy just kicked our buddy out!

Grodo: He is not our friend!

High: We gotta get rid of that dog before he starts hurting everyone in the house.

Grodo: But we are stray wild cats. We don't need to be nice or-- You know what? Maybe I think you are right. Lets go break in again but this time, we will stop that dog!

High: Yeah lets do so!

They find a window and open it to get inside.

Grodo: Here doggy doggy! Here doggo! We gotta a nice bone for ya!

The Bulldog comes in angrily.

High: Now now dog, we got a nice bone for you!

The Bulldog sees the bone and gets excited.

Grodo is seen placing a rope.

High: Go get it boy! (Throws the bone)

The Bulldog goes and gets it but however gets caught in the rope Grodo placed.

Bulldog: (Growls for help)

Grodo: There there now, nice and steady.

They throw the Bulldog out and bring Poopy Butt back in.

They also confess to Mario about what they did and apologize for their actions and promise they will never do it again.

Mario: Hmmmm, well. Ok. Since you mean it...

High: We do!

Mario: Alright. There is a mouse in the kitchen. Can you go get rid of him?

Grodo: A mouse??

High: Oh goody!

They go to the kitchen and find a mouse.

Mouse: Oh hey th--- Yipe!

High: So this is the guy eh? Lets get him!

Shrek and Black Yoshi are seen behind them.

Shrek: You know black donkey, I think those are the kitty donkeys that ate my cheesecake!

Black Yoshi: And my chicken!

Shrek: Lets get them!

Mouse: Well, to loo do!

The mouse runs away and the cats start chasing him along with Shrek and Black Yoshi chasing them.

The Bulldog is seen looking at them through a window.

Bulldog: You know, I may be homeless now, but at least I am getting entertained from the outside!

The dog continues looking at the chase and it irises out on him.



Trivia

 * This marks the first appearance of High, Grodo and the Bulldog.
 * Rh390110478 was supposed to make the banner but instead, CuldeeFell13 took the take.
 * This marks Poopy Butt/Shitass's first appearance in a MarioFan2009 story.