One and or Two!

One And Or Two! is the 28th episode of CuldeeFell Shortz!

Script
SYPNOSIS - Sonic loves being the fastest and sexiest on Pensacola, but after seeing Red Yoshi and Blue Yoshi and how they are twins, Sonic wants to raise a twin of his own. With the help of Dr. Finkleshitz, Sonic was able to create his own twin. What will happen? Well read the damn story to find out!

(It starts off with Sonic running around Pensacola. He then stops at a chilli dog shop)

Sonic: One chilli dog please?

(The employee gives sonic a Chilli Dog)

Sonic: Thanks!

(Sonic eats the chilli dog and runs around again. He eventually stops)

Sonic: Ahh! It feels good to be the fastest and sexiest thing alive!

(Sonic runs to sportsters bar)

Dave: So how has life on Pensacola been so far?

Clementine: Well it was pretty nice. Made some new friends, things have been going good!

Dave: Yeah. It's been 3 years since I been here! I'm excited to work here again! Although it's not gonna be the same without Jack.

Clementine: Well I lost a bunch of people in my past, but I know that they are still alive in our hearts!

Dave: You really think that?

(Clementine nods. Dave smiles)

Dave: Thanks Cle-

Sportsters' Manager: DAVE!

Dave: GAH! Yes boss?

Sportsters' Manager: Stop flirting and get back to work!

Dave: Um.. Okay!

Sportsters' Manager: GOOD!

(The manager walks away)

Dave: Sorry Clem! I have no time to talk right now.

Clementine: Okay.

(Sonic then comes in)

Sonic: GOOD MORNING SPORTSTERS!

Dave: Oh s**t, it's him again!

(Sonic runs up to dave)

Sonic: Dave! Davester! Dave Miller! How you doing bro?

Dave: ... I am not your bro!

Sonic: Hehehe! Yeah! Anyways, i'll take a tripple chillidog with extra cheese!

Bartender: I'll get that!

Dave: Thanks sportsy!

Sonic: I'm gonna go sit down!

(Sonic sits down)

Sonic: *hums green hill theme song*

(Red Yoshi then comes up)

Red Yoshi: Hey Sonic!

Sonic: Hello Red one!

Red Yoshi: Hehe! Yoshi! Anyways, have you seen my brother Blue? I've been looking for him all day!

Sonic: Sorry but I never seen him!

Red Yoshi: Oh!

(Blue Yoshi then comes in and jumps behind Sonic)

Blue Yoshi: SONIC! QUICK! HIDE ME-

(Red and Blue then notice eachother)

Red Yoshi: BLUE!!

Blue Yoshi: Aw s**t!

Red Yoshi: GET OVER HERE RIGHT NOW! YOU STILL NEED TO PAY FOR THE DAMAGE WE COST TO THE TOWER YESTERDAY!

Blue Yoshi: Over my dead body!

Sonic: Oh, we got a fight going on!

Red Yoshi: YOU BETTER GET OVER HERE RIGHT NOW! Don't make me have to drag you!

Blue Yoshi: No!

Red Yoshi: Okay that's it!

(Red Yoshi grabs Blue)

Red Yoshi: Come over here right now!

Blue Yoshi: No. NO! LET GO OF ME!

(Red Yoshi continues to drag him)

Red Yoshi: STOP SQUIRMING!

Sonic: Hehe!

(Suddenly Sonic thinks of something)

Sonic: WAIT!

(The two freeze)

Sonic: Are you guys... twins?

Red Yoshi: Yeah. It's not fun.

(Red Yoshi continues to drag him)

Red Yoshi: LETS GO!

Blue Yoshi: NO! HELP ME! HELP ME SONIC!

(The two then disapeer)

Sonic: Fasinating!

Tako: What is fasinating? That Red and Blue argue all the time like it is their character traits now!

Sonic: No cyan one! They are twins! Two Yoshi's! That look exactly alike! Well other than the color but that's besides the point! What if I had a twin of my own! Ha! I could raise him like a son! I could teach him how to be fast and sexy just like me! We could play T-ball on the streets. Look at ourselves in the mirror and do some spike workouts!

Tako: Yeah right. Be careful what you wish for!

Sonic: Any chance you know how to create a twin?

Tako: Oh it's easy! All you have to do, is sit down and think really hard. Then, take the most massive burp the entire land of Pensacola has heard, and then you'll have your twin!

Sonic: Really?! It's that easy!?

Tako: Yeah!

Sonic: Okay! I'm gonna make myself a twin!

(Sonic sits down and tries to make a huge burp. Tako walks away)

Tako: Idiot!

(Sonic tries to take a huge burp)

Sonic: COME ON!

(Sonic continues. Suddenly Finkleshitz comes in)

Finkleshitz: Dafuq are you doing?

Sonic: Trying to make a twin!

Finkleshitz: By sitting down and trying to burp really hard?

Sonic: Yeah!

Finkleshitz: Well what if I told you that there is an easier way that doesn't involve wasting your breath!

Sonic: Tell me!

Finkleshitz: Follow me!

(Sonic then follows Finkleshitz to his lab)

Sonic: So what did you want to show me?

(Finkleshitz then pulls a blanked off, showing a machine)

Finkleshitz: TADA! Isn't it a beauty! I call it the Twinifyer 3000! Basically what it does it that it can make a twin of anything!

Sonic: Even me!?

Finkleshitz: Yes! Even you! Now step onto this podium!

(Sonic steps on the podium)

Finkleshitz: Okay! Now make sure to stay perfectly still!

Sonic: Gotcha!

Finkleshitz: Alright! 1..

Sonic: Ah...

Finkleshitz: 2..

Sonic: Ah!

Finkleshitz: THREE!

Sonic: ACHOO!

(The machine zaps sonic. Suddenly a retared poorly drawn version of Sonic comes out)

Sonic's Clone: Duhhhh... Cum on step it uppp..

Sonic: Woah!

Finkleshitz: You idiot! You were supposed to stay still!

Sonic: Finkleshitz... HE'S PERFECT!

(Sonic then hugs his clone)

Sonic: It looks just like me! Well except for the spikes but IT'S PERFECT!

Finkleshitz: Just the spikes? JUST THE SPIKES!? There are plenty of things wrong with this clone! His crooked eyes! His big **s stomach! His legs! EVERYTHING!

Sonic: Don't judge my clone!

(Sonic looks at his clone again)

Sonic's Clone: Fasst.. and sexyyyy..

Sonic: *sniff* Beautiful! How much does it cost!

Finkleshitz: About 200 grand!

Sonic: Okay! We're off!

(Sonic grabs his clone and runs away)

Finkleshitz: Wa- HEY! COME BACK AND PAY THE PRICE! Oh that's it!

(Finkleshitz grabs a gun but suddenly Goodman appears behind him)

Goodman: FINKLESHITZ!!

Finkleshitz: GAH! Goodman!

Goodman: Where is the money that you promised you'd give me!

Finkleshitz: Well you see um. I don't have the money.

Goodman: WHAT?!

Finkleshitz: I'm sorry Goodman! I was just busy and-

Goodman: NO! YOU ARE COMING WITH ME!

(Goodman grabs Finkleshitz)

Finkleshitz: Wait. WHAT ARE YOU!

(Goodman drags him)

Finkleshitz: WAIT! LET ME GO! I NEED TO REVENGE SOMEONE! AHHHHH!

(It then switches to Sonic and Sanic at the city)

Sonic: Man, look at you! You are a perfect twin! I can't wait to teach you how to be fast and sexy just like your father!

Sonic's Clone: Hehehe... My favorite book is The Rabbit!

Sonic: Um.. yeah... Anyways, you need a name! I'll call you... Sanic! You like being called Sanic!

Sanic: Hehehe. I like Sanic!

Sonic: Sanic it is! Now Sanic, if you wanna be fast and sexy just like me, first you gotta be fast! Are you fast?

Sanic: I.. duh. fast and ready to-

(Sanic then runs really fast)

Sanic: WOAH!!

(Sanic runs all the way to sportsters)

Dave: And I was like-

(Suddenly Dave stops talking and Sanic runs into him)

Dave: AHHHHHHH! OW!

Clementine: Dave!

(Clem runs to dave)

Sonic: *sniff* My son is growing up so fast! Come on Sanic!

Sanic: Uhh. Okay daddy!

(It then switches back to the city)

Sonic: Alright Sanic, now that you know how to be fast, you gotta be SEXYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! Are you sexy? Go and find a girl and flirt with her!

Sanic: Okay Daddy!

(Sanic runs away)

Sonic: Did you find one yet>

Sanic: UH HUH!

(Sanic is then seen with Shrek)

Sanic: Hey good looking... hows it going..?

Sonic: Sanic I appreciate the enthusiasim and all but i'm not going to raise a gay son!

(Sonic drags Sanic away)

Shrek: This city gets weirder and weirder everyday Sara Lee!

Sonic: Alright, now where can we find a-

(Sonic then sees Maguro)

Sonic: Oooh! Chick at 10 o clock! Go get em Sanic!

Sanic: Okay daddy!

(Sanic walks up to Maguro)

Sanic: Hey there....

Maguro: Oh hi Sonic!

Sanic: Now I don't mean to sound impressive or anything, but I singed into the internet.. without my parents permission!

Maguro: Oh! That sounds impressive! You wanna hang out sometimes?

Sanic: Anything for you baby!

Sonic: *sniff* I can't believe it! He completed both tasks of being both Fast and Sexy! *sniff* I think i'm gonna cry! *sniff* Alright Sanic, lets go!

(Sanic doesn't listen)

Sonic: Sanic? Sanic! SANIC!

(Sonic runs up to Sanic)

Sonic: Sanic! You listen to your father when he's talking to you!

Maguro: Um Sonic? Who is that?

Sanic: Oh that's just my daddy! *snort* He's pretty lame! He made me shut off the xbox just to play chess with him! Pretty lame old people crap!

Maguro: That does sound kinda lame!

Sonic: SANIC! YOU STOP TALKING CRAP AND COME BACK TO YOUR FATHER!

Maguro: Uh sonic? Can you tell your father to like leave or something?

Sanic: I'd be happy to! *To sonic* Daddy. F**k off!

Sonic: WHAT!? YOU DON'T SPEAK THAT LANGUAGE TO ME!

Sanic: Come on Maggie! Let's get outa here!

(The two run away)

Sonic: Wha- SANIC!

(Tako then runs up)

Tako: Was that your twin that you burped out talking to Maguro!?

Sonic: *sigh* Yes!

Tako: WHAT?!

Sonic: We need to do something about this!

Tako: Sonic! I got your back! Come with me!

Sonic: Okay?

(Sonic follows Tako to his house. Tako brings out a list)

Tako: This right here is a list of what to do when people are flirting with Maguro!

(Sonic grabs the list and reads it)

Sonic: 1. Kill him.

Tako: That's a good one!

Sonic: 2. Push him off a cliff!

Tako: Oh I like that one to!

Sonic: 3. Burn him alive with a flamethrower!

Tako: That is an awesome one!

Sonic: 4. Chop him into peices and throw him in the ocean!

Tako: OH! That's my favorite!

Sonic: Okay! Is there any less deadly way we can stop him!?

Tako: Hmmm. Look further down the list!

(Sonic looks down the list and spots something)

Sonic: I found something good!

Tako: Lemme see!

(Tako reads the list and gets a shocked expression)

Tako: God you are lame!

(It then switches to Sanic and Maguro at Sportsters. Sanic points at Dave)

Sanic: That purple one over there looks like hes been showering in grape juice all day!

Maguro: Heh! That does feel true!

Dave: What did that blue ball just call me?

(Sonic and Tako burst in)

Sonic: HEY!

Sanic: What do you want daddy!

Sonic: I got a surprise for you!

(Sonic brings out a belt)

Sanic: What dafuq is that?

Sonic: It is the big daddy belt Sanic! This is what you get for misbehaving! Now show me your rear end so I can smack it!

Sanic: Oh and Daddy! Guess what?

Sonic: What?

(Sanic brings out a gun)

Sanic: Prepare to die Daddy!

Sonic: WHAT?! Sanic you wouldn't shoot your own father would you?

Maguro: Sanic, don't you think this is a little to far?

Sanic: Shut up b***h!

Maguro: Whatever, i'm leaving!

(Sanic points his gun at Maguro)

Sanic: Oh no your not!

Tako: LEAVE HER ALONE!

(Tako tackles Sanic causing him to drop the gun)

Sanic: THATS IT!

(Sanic attempts to shoot Tako only for Sonic to grab the gun and throw it out the window hitting Onion Cream in the head)

Sanic: YOU IDIOT!

Sonic: Don't call your father an idiot!

(Sanic upperpunches Sonic only for Sonic to grab him and throw him out the building)

Sanic: Wait daddy! Please don't kill me! I know I have been a bad boy but it's never too late to change! Please give me a 2nd chance!

Sonic: Oh all right! Come with me!

(Sanic follows Sonic only for him to grab a peice of glass and stab him)

Sonic: GOW!!!!

Sanic: You really think I would surrender! Now it's time to say goodbye! For real!

Sonic: Sanic... please... don't..

(Sanic is about to kill Sonic but then Finkleshitz comes up and shoots a lazer at him causing him to disapeer)

Sonic: *gasp* Finkleshitz! You saved my life!

Finkleshitz: That's what you get for not paying the price! Now I have to beat you with the big daddy belt!

(Goodman then appears)

Goodman: Surprise!

Finkleshitz: DAFUQ?!

Goodman: You know who else is gonna get a beating with the big daddy belt!?

Finkleshitz: Uhhh.

Goodman: YOU B***H! Now lets go!

(Goodman grabs Finkleshitz and the two disapeer)

Tako: You okay?

Maguro: Yeah! You saved my life!

(Tako and Maguro then notices Sonic sad)

Sonic: *sigh* I'm gonna miss Sanic.

Tako: He did seem like a good kid. For the most part. Well, me and Maguro are going to hang out so i'll see you later!

Sonic: Goodbye Cyan one.

(The two leave)

Sonic: I wonder where Sanic is now?

(It then switches to Goodman, Finkleshitz and Sanic in the lab)

Goodman: Alright Sanic! Now you are going to see what happens when someone doesn't give me the money I wanted!

Sanic: Okay daddy!

Finkleshitz: You know, if anyone has to be his daddy it should be me! I mean I gave birth to him!

Goodman: SHUT UP!

(Goodman starts beating Finkleshitz with the Big Daddy Belt while Sanic watches. The episode ends)

Trivia

 * This marks the debut of Sanic!