The Band Contest! Part 1

CROSS-ing Over Shorts!

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Episode 42: The Band Contest! Part 1 (The Battle of the Bands Arc! Episode 5)

Synopsis: After all the bands were announced, the contest has finally begun! The first out of two rounds are Darkest Hour and Dethklok. However, when Dethklok begins performing, their performance turns out to be extremely dangerous and the other three bands must put a stop to their performance!

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Goodman: Today is the first day of the contest! For the first round, it’s Darkest Hour vs. Dethklok! Here are interviews with the band leaders!

Saiko is seen on a TV.

Saiko: We originally formed Darkest Hour as a way of getting back at Bob for dissing us, but with this contest, it might be the band’s comeback!

Goodman: Cool! Now with Dethklok’s leader, Nathan Explosion!

Nathan Explosion is seen on the TV.

Nathan Explosion: We’re here to make coffee metal. We’re here to make everything metal. Blacker than the blackest black... times infinity.

Goodman: So, you’re saying you’re performing a coffee jingle?

Murderface: Yes!

Skwisgaar: We promise we will provide a “face-melting” performance!

Goodman: Well, those are the bands for round 1 of the contest! It should start soon! The band who receives the most praise wins the match!

Super Magical Rainbow Thomas and Hi Hi Puffy Ami Yumi are seen watching the interviews.

Junior: Nice! We come up after them!

Ami: Cool! We’re really excited to perform!

Cody: Still can’t believe Ami and Yumi are here!

Joseph: That’s really cool, dude!

Yumi: So, who are you?

Junior: I’m Bowser Junior, but most people and story writers like RH just call me Junior.

Ami: Who’s RH?

Junior: He’s a user named Rh390110478, but he mostly prefers being called RH. Anyways, he also wrote multiple stories like The Vandal Buster! You should go read it since he’s releasing the sequel in June!

Yumi: Cool! We’ll take a look at it after the contest!

Junior: Ok! Anyways, those are my friends Joseph, Cody, Jeffy and Toad.

Ami: Nice! So, since Darkest Hour and Dethklok are up, that means we’ll be competing next!

Junior: I know! It’s going to be so exciting!

Bob: Agreed! We didn’t come for the prize. We only came to perform!

Ami: Same! Me and my sister, Yumi just love performing for audiences!

Yumi: Agreed!

Junior: I know! Well, let’s wait until the performance starts!

Joseph: Or we could watch the two perform!

Junior: Ok!

Junior, Joseph, Cody, Jeffy, Toad, Ami and Yumi enter the audience room and watch as Darkest Hour enters the stage.

Goodman: First up is Darkest Hour performing well.. Darkest Hour.

I.M.A Sureshot is seen in the audience.

I.M.A Sureshot: Can’t wait for when the prize comes!

I.M.A Sureshot laughs evilly as the performance begins.

Saiko: Soundcloud rapper to trash disaster I'll diss this time I'll show you how to rhyme Someone should leash your greed Push aside the attention you need All you did was betray Now you've become worthless prey Those grinchy eyes Should see that All you've done made you alone And you had caring friends that you had never known No forgiving Here's what you're missing

Chorus: Come on guys now All rock with me Time to set your Hatred free Taunting Bob His darkest hour Help our friend And make him see Lying, mistreating Pain is all that he brings Only wish you knew Sorry Bob but You are through It's time for Saiko's wrath And take down this sociopath How 'bout you run back home? Buy another house We'll burn Or we could drop you In a well And never look that way And if we let you out I bet you'd wanna stay All that money Won't save you, honey [chorus] Here is where it ends You don't mess with All your friends

The audience cheers.

Goodman: Amazing song, guys! Now that Darkest Hour has performed, it’s time for Dethklok’s performance!

Nathan Explosion appears on a giant TV screen.

Nathan Explosion: For our performance, we will be performing “The Dethklok Rhapsody”. All of our greatest songs mixed together! We will so win the contest with this metal performance!

The TV shuts off.

Goodman: Cool, but where’s Dethklok?

Suddenly, the entire roof of the convention opens as a helicopter being piloted by a Klokateer hovers over the audience.

Goodman: Cool! A grand entrance!

The helicopter’s back opens a massive metal cube shaped like a skull drops out and parachutes to the bottom. Suddenly, the parachutes detach and the cube falls into a stadium and crushes and kills several audience members.

Tari: HOLY F***?!?!

Saiko: DID THEY JUST KILL THAT CROWD?!?!

Goodman: Wait a minute. That doesn’t look right.

Nathan Explosion: For our first song, it is the Duncan Hills Coffee Jingle!

Drumbeats begin to start as the entire cube opens and crushes more of the audience, revealing Dethklok on a stage with Skwisgaar and Toki performing on guitars, Murderface on bass and Pickles drumming. Nathan Explosion is at the front with a microphone.

Nathan Explosion: Do you folks like coffee?

The audience cheers.

Nathan Explosion: Real coffee?

The performance begins as lights flash everywhere.

Nathan Explosion: From the hills of Colombia? The Duncan Hills will wake you From a thousand deaths A cup of blackened blood (Dying, dying) You're dying for a cup

SMG4: I’d have to admit. They have a really awesome song for a coffee jingle. Nathan Explosion: Guatemala blend Ethiopian French vanilla roast (Dying, dying) You're dying for a cup  Prepare for ultimate flavor You're gonna get some now!

The audience starts to cheer as several Klokateers emerge from several balconies. Nathan Explosion: And scream... for your cream!

As Skwisgaar does a guitar solo, multiple helicopters fly in with massive mugs of coffee and pour them all over the audience, causing their flesh to burn and melt off from the massive heat.

Ami: WHAT THE F***?!?!

Cody: THAT’S NOT A PERFORMANCE! THAT’S F****** MASS-MURDER!

Yumi: AGREED! OUR SONGS ARE NEVER LIKE THAT!

Saiko: SAME!

Meggy: WE NEED TO STOP THEIR PERFORMANCE BEFORE THEY KILL EVEN MORE PEOPLE!

Junior: RIGHT!

Ami: LET’S TAKE OUT THE HELICOPTERS!

Tari activates her arm cannon and shoots at a helicopter, destroying it. Saiko pulls out her hammer and throws it at another helicopter, blowing it up.

SMG4: WE’RE GETTING THEM!

Murderface notices the exploding helicopters.

Murderface: Nathan! They’re ruining our performance!

Nathan: Well, send the klokateers to stop them!

Multiple klokateers rush at Darkest Hour, but they attack and kill them.

SMG4: Keep destroying the helicopters!

Nathan Explosion: Duncan Hills Duncan Hills Duncan Hills Coffee

A massive ray pops out of the stage and zaps the audience, hypnotizing them into cheering.

Nathan Explosion: And now for our second song, Impeach God!

Krusty: AW CRAP!

Nathan Explosion: I'm having my cabinet Schedule a debate The world will be our witness Judged in eyes of hate

Saiko: THEY’RE STARTING ANOTHER ONE!

Tari: WE MUST STOP THEM!

Yumi: THERE! ON THE STAGE LIGHTS!

SMG4: WE’LL DEAL WITH THEM!

SMG4, Junior, Joseph, Meggy and Jeffy climb up onto the stage lights and end up above the stage.

Nathan Explosion: I challenge the gods To stand their ground Taste my word sword In your filthy mouth

Impeach God Now if we unite We'll take them down

We'll use our strength We'll use our skill We will revolt And we will kill

I've gathered my congregates Here to kill your cause The worst of you is venomous We'll die to crush your laws

Meggy: I’ll knock out the blonde guy!

Meggy shoots ink at a stage light, causing it to fall and land on Skwisgaar, knocking him out.

Toki: SKWISGAAR! NOO!!!

Nathan Explosion: TAKE CARE OF THEM!

Murderface opens a briefcase, releasing flying demonites that fly to the roof and attack the five.

Junior: LOOK OUT!

Meggy shoots at the demonites, killing them one by one.

Goodman: THIS HAS GONE TOO FAR! GUARDS! DISQUALIFY DETHKLOK!

Nathan Explosion: NEVER!

The cops rush towards Dethklok, but Toki and Murderface connect their guitars, causing a massive burst of fire to rise into the sky and transform into a humongous satan-like figure with a deer skull covered in ripped pieces of flesh.

Facebones: BEGONE!!!

Facebones crushes several officers under his foot and surrounds the band with a wall of fire.

Ami: S***!

Yumi: I’d have to admit. That was really cool!

Ami: I actually agree, but still!

Nathan Explosion: I've raised the capital To take you down Final word is your negation Legacy renown

Impeach God Now If we unite We'll take them down We'll use our strength We'll use our skill We will revolt And we will kill

After killing all the demonites, Junior and the others spot a balcony with a door to the office.

Junior: IN THERE!

Jeffy: WE CAN SHUT OFF THEIR PERFORMANCE THERE!

Nathan Explosion: (noticing the five) OH NO, YOU DON’T!

Nathan Explosion points at the five, causing Facebones to screech and fly towards them.

Meggy: S***!

Facebones breathes fire at the five as they frantically avoid his blasts.

Nathan Explosion: Impeach God! We'll cause a storm We will unite We'll crush the houses tonight

Facebones transforms into a massive firenado and spins all around the arena, spreading fire everywhere. Quickster gets caught in it and begins running throughout the arena, killing several people.

Quickster: GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!

Nathan Explosion: The times come for a dark mutation A closed whispered Conversation A planet's worth of blinded trusters Born of blackened cosmic clusters

We can't support your industry Aborted evil ministry Don't you know there's blood on your hands It's time we take our final stand

Facebones continues to attack the five, but Junior spots a water tower in the distance.

Toad: I’ll deal with him! You go after the tower!

Toad activates his refusion powers and turns into a humongous inverted T-Rex. The T-Rex and Facebones roar and battle each other.

Junior: THE TOWER!

Junior heads to the water tower and pushes it over, spilling the water on top of Facebones and he screams as he graphically disintegrates.

Nathan Explosion: You. You killed our mascot. We’ll kill ya. WE’LL KILL YA!

All five strike guitars, forming a massive musical wave that hits the five and sends them flying into the room.

Nathan Explosion: Deport the hatred Revoke the patrons A black gestation The dead donation Refuse creation Deny divination A soul castration For the dying nation

We will stand up and fight Anarchy's ruling tonight Forcing the book to the flame The paper so earthly defamed Verdict will rule in our strength Your prince we will now desecrate The polls are showing your downfall We're taking it back We're taking it back We are the GODS We are the GODS

As the performance ends, the hypnotized audience cheers.

Nathan Explosion: Now for our last song, Birthday Dethday!

As the song begins, Murderface is dropped down a trapdoor and emerges, sitting on a throne.

Nathan Explosion: Many years ago today something grew inside of your mother...

That thing was you! YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU Did she scream? Did she cry? Only those that are born are the ones that get to die.

One more year closer to dying, Rotting organs ripping grinding, Biological discordance, Birthday equals self abhorrence.

Meggy: THERE’S THE OFF SWITCH!

Junior: LET’S PUSH IT!

Junior runs to the button, but sees it is blocked by a key code.

Junior: DARN IT! IT’S PASSWORD PROTECTED!

Ami: I’ll try to find it!

Yumi: Right!

Ami and Yumi sneak past several klokateers and enter a door leading into the stage Dethklok is performing on.

Nathan Explosion: Years keep passing aging always, Mutate into vapid slugs, Doctor gives a new prescription, Bullet in a f****** gun.

Toki is seen loading a nuclear bomb into a present before sending it down a conveyer belt.

Yumi: A NUCLEAR BOMB?!?!

Tari: THAT COULD DESTROY THE ENTIRE CITY!

Ami: WE’LL TRY TO STOP IT!

Ami pulls the present off the conveyer belt, takes out the bomb and throws it to Tari who shoots the bomb into space.

Meanwhile.

RH 3.0 is seen flying to Earth.

RH 3.0: Finally! Managed to escape the moon and then I can bring revenge upon the city-

Suddenly, the bomb lands in RH 3.0’s hands.

RH 3.0: The f***?

The bomb explodes, causing RH 3.0 to get launched back to the moon.

RH 3.0: NOOO!!!

Back on Earth.

Nathan Explosion: One more year closer to dying, Plastic surgeons fuel the lying, You forget why you came in here, Your mind rots with every New Year.

RSVP PLEASE For the DETH of thee, You have little time, And you're running out of life.

Happy Birthday! You're gonna die!

Ami: Ok! We dealt with the bomb!

Tari: Nice!

Yumi: We’ll find the code!

Ami and Yumi sneak back onto the stage.

Yumi: There’s the code on his guitar!

Ami sneaks behind Murderface and sees the code “2002” on the guitar. Ami then grabs a microphone and speaks into it.

Ami: Junior! “2002” is the code!

Junior: Thanks!

Suddenly, Murderface spots Ami.

Murderface: GUYS! WE GOT INTRUDERS!

Nathan Explosion: KILL THEM!

Dethklok slam their instruments on the ground, causing red hologram versions of themselves to emerge and attack Ami and Yumi.

Yumi: OH S***!

Yumi decapitates Hologram Murderface.

Hologram Toki: DIE!

Hologram Toki lunges at Ami, but she stabs him through the chest. Yumi grabs a nearby bomb and throws it at Holograms Nathan, Pickles and Skwisgaar, killing them both.

Nathan Explosion: Now you're old and full of hatred, Take a pill to masturbated, Children point to you and scream, Because they will become that thing.

One more year of further suffering, There's no point of f***** bluffing, Open up your DETHDAY present, It's a box of f****** bombs.

RSVP PLEASE For the DETH of thee, You have little time, And you're running out of life.

Happy Birthday! You're gonna die!

Jean-Pierre is seen bringing out a cake with mercury frosting as everyone heads to eat it.

Yumi: DON’T LET THEM EAT IT!

Tari quickly grabs the cake and eats it. Afterwards, she farts.

Tari: Yeah. Mercury kind of gives me gas.

Junior types in the code and the button emerges.

Junior: Time to shut down their performance!

Nathan Explosion: DIE DIE DETHDAY BIRTHDAY DETHDAY

DIE DIE DETHDAY BIRTHDAY DETHDAY

RSVP PLEASE For the DETH of thee, You have little time, And you're running out of life.

Happy Birthday! You're gonna die!

After the song ends, Dethklok surrounds Murderface.

Nathan Explosion: And now. The most blackest birthday present for the most brutal of all bass players.

A trapdoor opens and the present rises out of it. A string pulls off the lid and the box collapses the reveal...

Nathan Explosion: NOTHING??!!??

Murderface: OH, YOU SUCK! YOU ALL SUCK!

Murderface tackles Toki and beats him up.

Skwisgaar: What’s going on?!?

Junior pushes the button, causing the ray gun to explode and the audience to turn back to normal.

Nathan Explosion: So, what did you all think?

The entire audience begins booing.

Nathan Explosion: WHAT THE F***?!?!

Junior and the others head to Dethklok.

Skwisgaar: DUDES! WHAT’S THE BIG DEAL?!?!

Toki: YEAH! YOU RUINED OUR F****** PERFORMANCE!

Murderface: YEAH!

Tari: WELL, YOUR PERFORMANCE WAS KILLING PEOPLE!

Nathan Explosion: WELL, PEOPLE LIKE THAT BACK IN OUR STATE!

Yumi: Well, that’s not how things work here!

Nathan Explosion: DEATH METAL PUNCH!

Nathan Explosion punches Yumi. He then gets attacked by Ami.

Ami: HEY! THAT WAS MY SISTER YOU JUST PUNCHED!

Nathan Explosion: So?

Suddenly, Nathan Explosion gets handcuffed by Simmons.

Nathan Explosion: HEY!

Simmons: You are so getting life in prison!

Suddenly, Nathan Explosion breaks free and punches Simmons. He then grabs a phone and dials someone.

???: Hello?

Nathan Explosion: BOSS! THE WHOLE OPERATION IS BLOWN! BRING THE METAL BUTTERFLY UNICORN KITTY!

A massive mecha resembling a combination of a butterfly, unicorn and a cat bursts through the roof. Charles Offdensen emerges.

Charles Offdensen: Quick, Dethklok! Let’s get out of here!

Dethklok rushes into the mecha.

Nathan Explosion: You will regret ruining our concert!

The door closes and the mecha flies off, leaving behind a rainbow trail.

Ami: Well, we won’t be seeing them again after a while.

Junior: Same!

Goodman: Well, due to all the destruction Dethklok caused to the arena, the final round will have to be postponed until we get it repaired. So, all of the bands can just head back home until it is time.

All of the bands leave the stadium.

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