Who Killed Culdee?!

Who Killed Culdee!? is the 30th episode of CuldeeFell Shortz!

Script
SYPNOSIS - CuldeeFell13 is dead, but who caused his death. A bunch of people at his funeral are saying theories that may or may not be true. What do you think?

(It starts off with PaRappa walking around Pensacola)

PaRappa: Ahh! A beautiful day in Pensacola. Time to see what the others are up to!

(PaRappa walks up to Sunny, Frida, Rh, Tako, Maguro, Kani, Ikura, Wasabi, Shrek, Sonic, Red Yoshi, and Blue Yoshi, Boko and Clementine)

PaRappa: Hey guys!

(PaRappa then walks up to them)

PaRappa: So what are you guys doing-

(PaRappa then sees they are surrounding Culdee's dead body)

PaRappa: Oh..

(PaRappa runs away)

Clementine: We are gathered around today to commemorate the life, and mourn the death, of CuldeeFell13.

Kani: *sniff*

Blue Yoshi: Wait, Culdee died?

Clementine: Sadly it's true!

Red Yoshi: Well that sucks. Let's go blue! We got better things to do!

(The two then leave)

Clementine: Sometimes he would go crazy but he is still our story writing friend! May he rest in peice!

Rh: *sniff* I'll never forget the time, when I stuck so much pepper in his pizza rolls, that he almost teared me limb from limb. *sniff* I'm gonna miss you buddy. *cries* Wait.. How did he die!?

Clementine: Well you see, that's stuff private um.. We don't know.

Frida: Wait? Why are we having a funeral if we don't even know what caused his death!?

Clementine: Uh.. Uh....

Shrek: No Lazer headed Donkey. It might be because of me!

All: WHAT?!

Shrek: Gather around children!

(Everyone gathers around)

Shrek: So one day I was wandering around Pensacola, when something BAD happened!

(It then shows a flashback of Culdee walking around whisteling. He then sees a box of cheesecake and gasps and leans over it)

Culdee: Well hey baby. You like what your seeing now? Heh. This is a pro fnaf player you are looking at. Oh what's that baby? You wanna make out? OH YEAH BABY!

(Culdee starts making out with the cheesecake when Shrek sees him)

Shrek: Fnaf donkey, you better let go of my cheesecake right now, or there will be consiquences!

Culdee: I'm sorry Shrek. Me and Sara here! We're in love!

Shrek: Then so be it fat face!

Culdee: Fat face? That makes no sense-

(Shrek then runs up to Culdee and starts beating him up. The flashback then ends)

Shrek: And that was.. Good bye for Culdee *cries*

Frida: You killed a boy, over a BOX OF CHEESECAKE!!?!!?!?!?!

Shrek: *sniff* I'm sorry-

(Frida puts on her goggles but Sunny and Maguro hold her back)

Sonic: ENOUGH!

(Everyone stops)

Ikura: CHEESE CAKE LIVES DON'T MATTER!

Sonic: HUSH! Shrek did not kill culdee!

Rh: Was it you Sonic?

Sonic: No but, I may have something to do with it!

(Everyone gathers around Sonic)

Sonic: So once a week I teach people how to be FAST and SEXY! But it was only for my ten week plan each summer!

(It then shows a flashback)

Sonic: HEY YOU! Are you a loser? A stinky ugly loser!? Just like these guys? Well what if I told you you could be able to become fast and sexy just like me, your boi Sonic The Hedgehog! Chicks will dig you! Men will want to be you!

Blue Yoshi: He's so sexy!

Sonic: You can be able to start with only a cheap price of $25.95! So come on over and we can let the party begin!!!!!!

(The camera then zooms out revealing Sonic and Culdee watching it)

Sonic: How do you like it?

Culdee: ... I'd rather kill myself than join the program.

(Culdee then leaves)

Sonic: Jerk..

(The flashback ends)

Sonic: And that's how it happened!

Boko: Wait, that made no sense! Culdee never joined the program! That theory made no sense, let's go back to harrasing Shrek!

(Everyone then charges at Shrek but Sunny defends him)

Sunny: WAIT!

(Everyone looks at Sunny)

Sunny: I might have caused his death!

All: WHAT!?

Frida: Sunny, you- you couldn't have.

Sunny: It's true.

Boko: Does your theory even make sense?

Sunny: Yes. Heres how it went!

(Another flashback. Sunny is seen on a ladder painting her house. She then gets tired)

Sunny: Phew.. Man I hate painting houses! There's just so much work to be done. I just wish someone else would do the job for me!

(Sunny then sees Culdee passing by)

Sunny: Hey Culdee!

Culdee: Yeah Sunny?

Sunny: I was wondering if you could paint my house while I take a break!

Culdee: Okay!

Sunny: Thanks!

(Sunny gets down from the ladder letting Culdee climb up)

Sunny: Also be careful with the ladder. Falling from up there might cause serious injuries and maybe death!

Culdee: Got it!

(Culdee starts to paint the house while Sunny runs away. The flashback ends)

Tako: Then what happened?

Sunny: He fell off the ladder and died!

Sonic: That didn't make any-

Rh: SO YOU WHERE RESPONSIBLE FOR MY FRIENDS DEATH!?!

Sunny: No! I mean yes! I mean I don't know!

Shrek: That's what they all say, LETS GET HER FELLAS!

(Shrek charges at Sunny but Rh stops him)

Rh: Not so fast Shrek! We are still acusing you for all of this!

Sunny: BUT YOU WERE JUST ACUSING ME!

(Everyone then starts arguing when MarioFan2009 comes up)

MarioFan: Hey guys! Have you seen Culdee anywhere?

(Everyone looks at him)

Boko: *cough*

MarioFan: Well?

(Sonic then sees that they accidentally pushed Culdee's body onto the road causing a traffic jam)

Rh: Uh MarioFan, Culdee died.

MarioFan: Oh. Well tell him if he's done dying, he needs to make some banners for Blood Money!

(MarioFan then leaves)

Kani: Okay! Hey Culdee! MarioFan said-

Tako: HE'S DEAD KANI!

Kani: Oh yeah.

Boko: Guys i'm starting to doubt my self here!

Frida: What do you mean?

Boko: I mean what if I killed Culdee without realizing it!

Rh: What if one of us killed Culdee in our sleep!

Frida: Or what if a murderer came in his house and killed him! Oh poor Culdee!

Tako: Wait, so how did Culdee die?

All: WE DON'T KNOW!

Shrek: IDIOT!

Tako: Jeez! I was just asking a question!

Sonic: Well ask a better question next time you pile of trash. Jeez, have you ever thought of signing up for my 10 week program! Only 25.95!

Clementine: This isn't the time Sonic! Culdee died!

Sonic: Jeez sorry! What are we supposed to do then? Cry for 8 more hours!

Frida: YES!

(Everyone continues to argue when all of a sudden, Culdee gets up)

Culdee: Ah! What's with all the yelling. I-

(Culdee then notices everyone looks at Culdee with shocked faces)

Culdee: What?

Rh: Wait! Your ALIVE!?

Culdee: Well yeah, i've been alive ever since!

Frida: But we thought you died!

Culdee: What? Ohh. I was just taking a nap!

Tako: IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CITY!?

Boko: You mother trucker!

Sonic: You meant to tell us you have been asleep the entire time!?

Clementine: How did you even sleep in the first place when we were screaming!

Sunny: WE EVEN PUSHED YOU ON THE ROAD FOR GODS SAKE!

Culdee: Well i'm just a very heavy sleeper!

Sunny: HEAVY SLEEPER!?

Culdee: Yeah. I had to take a nap because I had to make banners for MarioFan, write scripts for upcoming culdeefell shortz, react to some stories, make my pizza rolls, plus forgot to mention I got beaten up for examining a box of cheesecake in the middle of the city!

Sunny: I thought you said he made out with it!

Shrek: Well I might have exagerated that part a bit.

Sunny: Huh.

Culdee: You all thought I was dead?

(Culdee starts bursting in laughter)

Sunny: Ugh!

(Everyone then looks at eachother and nods. They then start running at Culdee)

Culdee: HAHAHAHA! Wait.. what are you doing? STOP-

(Everyone tackles culdee. It switches to everyone surrounding Culdee on the floor wounded)

Clementine: We gather around here today to commemorate the life, and mourn the death, of CuldeeFell13!

Culdee: But i'm not dead!

Boko: SHUT UP!

(Boko kicks Culdee)

Culdee: OW!

Trivia

 * This was highly based off of the BE87 Short: Who Killed Gordon!?