SML Movie: Unico!



''The scene starts off in the sky. A light is seen dashing through. Upon closer inspection, it is the West Wind and Unico driving through the sky''

West Wind: Unico I’m going to drop you off here.

Unico: But I heard this area was bad!

West Wind: But the gods never check here because they think the humans there are insane! They’re never gonna find you here!

The West Wind drops Unico off just outside the SML house

West Wind: Here’s some money and a Florida ID. I’ll check on you later!

The West Wind flies off

The scene cuts to inside the house on the red couch

Jeffy: Watch this!

Jeffy does a backflip

Mario: You did a backflip?!

Rosalina: That’s so cool!

Jeffy: Now look at this!

Jeffy does a dab, Orange Justice dance, Gangnam style, and the Floss at the same time

Mario: I don’t know if I’m supposed to be amazed or terrified.

Rosalina: That’s awesome, Jeffy!

They bear the doorbell

Mario: Who could that be?

Mario opens the door to find Unico

Unico: Greetings, uh... human. I am lost and in need of, um, some place to stay!

Mario: What?

Unico: Can I come in?

Mario: Sure, I guess...

They go back to the red couch

Mario: JEFFY WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!

Jeffy: Fucking around!

Rosalina: He keeps tee bagging that horse!

Unico: What’s a tee bag?

Jeffy: Oh! A donkey!

Unico: I’m not a donkey! I’m a unicorn!

Mario: Why are you here?

Rosalina: Can you make wishes?

Unico: No! I’m Unico!

Mario: Oh! You’re the unicorn who’s on the run with with gods!

Unico: Yep! And the West Wind moved me here!

Rosalina: Why?

Unico: The God’s never look here!

Jeffy: Daddy, I gotta fuck that donkey!

Mario: No Jeffy! He will stay here!

Jeffy: Well fuck!

Rosalina: Why don’t you check out Chef PeePee? He makes good food!

Unico: Okay.

The scene cuts to the kitchen, where Chef PeePee is cooking

Unico: Um, hello?

Chef PeePee: Who are you?

Unico: I’m Unico.

Chef PeePee: Oh, you’re a donkey!

Unico: Why the hell does everyone think I’m a donkey?

Chef PeePee: Well what do you want?

Unico: What do you have?

Chef PeePee: I’m cooking Cody’s Mom’s Love Nectar Pasta!

Unico: What’s that?

Chef PeePee: It’s Cody’s Mom’s Love Nectar being cooked with Poptarts, Pretzels, and Popcorn! Want some?

Unico: Sure!

Chef PeePee gives Unico a sample

Unico: EW!!! IT TASTES BAD!!!

Chef PeePee: Really?

Unico: What else do you have?

Chef PeePee: We have a sandwich.

Unico: I’ll take that.

Unico eats the sandwich

Jeffy: Hey, Unico. Wanna rekt some scrubs at Fortnite?

Unico: What’s a Fortnite?

Jeffy: You rekt scrubs in it! And you get thick hoes in it too!

Unico: Really?! I wanna try it!

Unico and Jeffy play Fortnite

Jeffy: You’re very good at this game!

Unico: Yep! This is my fifth Victory Royale!

''The doorbell rings, and Mario answers it. Trippie Redd is outside''



Trippie: Is Unico in here?

Mario: Yeah...

Trippie: Let me in! I want to see him!

Trippie Redd goes in the playroom where Jeffy and Unico and playing

Trippie: UNICO?!?!

Unico: TRIPPIE REDD?!?!

Jeffy: Who is this weirdo?

Trippie: I’m Unico’s uncle, and I need to take him to my place!

Unico: No! You never take care of me!

Mario: Trippie no! The West Wind is his true care provider, and you will not take him!

Trippie: YES I WILL!!!

West Wind: No you won’t!

Everyone: WEST WIND?!?!

West Wind: Trippie Redd is a bad uncle and has no right to take care of Unico! I am his adopted parent and he will come to me!

Trippie: YOU DON’T DO SHIT!!! I HELP OUT UNICO WHEN HE NEEDS ME!!! YOU’RE ALL THE WAY UP IN MASSACHUSETTS DOING GOD KNOWS WHAT!!!

West Wind: I’M AT MASSACHUSETTS FOR BUSINESS PURPOSES!!!

Trippie: BY BUSINESS, YOU MEAN BEING A SLUT BECAUSE THAT’S WHO YOU ARE!!!

West Wind: OH MY GOODNESS!!! I AM NOT A SLUT!!!

Mario: How about we settle this in court?

Trippie and West Wind: YES!!!

At court...

Goodman: So we are gathered here today to settle the custody battle between Trippie Redd and West Wind.

Trippie: West Wind doesn’t do shit to Unico because she’s always in Massachusetts! I’m always there for him!

West Wind: Not true! Who pays the child support? And who helps him escape from the gods?

Brooklyn: Okay, this is sounding like a split family. Unico, can you testify?

Unico: West Wind always cares for me. Trippie Redd doesn’t do anything!

Trippie: That’s not true!

Unico: Then explain the months where you refused to contact me?!

Trippie: I was on world tour and I couldn’t find the time to call you!

Unico: BULLSHIT!!!

Goodman: THAT’S ENOUGH!!! Trippie, you are a bad guardian! And for that, I’m gonna grab your custody certificate, put it on the top of a motherfucking spaceship, then I will personally press the button, where it will crash on the Sun Andy it will crash, burn, and die! In fact, that’s what I’m gonna do right fucking now!

The scene cuts to Cape Canaveral, where the certificate is about to be launched

Goodman: Say goodbye to your custody certificate!

Trippie: Goodbye, custody certificate!

Goodman presses the button, and it launches up into space, crashes into the Sun, and explodes

Goodman: What a marvelous sight. I’ve never seen anything like it! But anyway, West Wind, you now have full custody of Unico! And Trippie, you’re not allowed to contact Unico at all for the next 3 years! Otherwise, I’m gonna saw off your balls, and use it to play baseball!

Trippie: Okay...

Unico: GET REKT!!! YOU GOT OWNED!!!

Trippie: I’m still your uncle!

Unico: NO!!! YOU ARE NOT MY UNCLE!!!

West Wind: And we’re leaving Earth!

Unico: Aw, I was just starting to be cool with Mario and his family!

West Wind: Well they’re bad! And I’m gonna kill them now!

Mario: NO!!!

Rosalina: DON’T!!!

Jeffy: I STILL HAVEN’T CLAPPED SOME HOE’S CHEEK!!!

West Wind: TOO BAD!!!

West Wind kills the family

Jeffy wakes up

Jeffy: AH!!! THE WEST WIND KILLED US ALL!!!

Mario: Jeffy the West Wind did not killed us! You were sleeping!

Rosalina: And you missed most of The Fantastic Adventures of Unico!

Jeffy: Aw, well I wish Unico was real... Looks up to the sky

SML Question: What’s your favorite anime?