Stupid Karting 101

Stupid Karting 101 is a story by InternetProblem.

Synopsis
Oh boy Waluigi is found guilty of running over a police officer and is forced into driving school

Script
It starts in Bowser's Castle with Lakitu counting down to 0

Lakitu: Ready, Steady, Go

Everyone except Waluigi goes off the track, screaming

Waluigi: OH YEAH WALUIGI NUMBER ONE

Waluigi runs over 4 innocent people and a police officer

Judge Goodman: Is there anything you need to say?

Waluigi: No

Judge Goodman: Well you are guilty as fuck and becaue of that go to "Mario Kart Driving School"

Waluigi: Wah?

Judge Goodman: Why the hell not

Waluigi: I can't wait for this trash

Inside the school

Waluigi: I'm here

Quiet class

Waluigi: Wah

Teacher: IT'S RAPING TIME!

Waluigi leaves the school in horror

Waluigi: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Teacher: WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?

Meanwhile in a school lesson

Teacher: WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH

Waluigi: Oh my god WHO THE HELL CARES?

Teacher: WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH

Waluigi: (gets angry) (shoots Teacher) Oh shit!

In the computer room

Waluigi: Who are you?

Rosalina: I'M A FUCKING PRETTY PRINCESS (destroys the computer room)

Waluigi: Now I gotta take this test, somehow

Question 1:

What do you do when Lakitu's light turns green?

A: Stop and kill Lakitu

B: GO

C: Go to Antartica and drive so fast, it melts all of the ice caps

Waluigi: Bruh it's B

Question 2:

What are karts and bikes for?

A: Racing and stuff what is this now?

B: Running over hobos

C: GET THE LADIESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

Waluigi: C indeed

Question 3:

Do you take drugs

A: No

B: MUSHROOMS

C: Toad is the best

Waluigi: Boring

Waluigi isn't allowed to quit the test

Waluigi: 2nd try

Toad: NO!

Waluigi: Aw shit (goes on a rampage)

Now in "3DS Toad Circuit"

Time for driving tests!

Waluigi: My lucky car

MarioFan2009: NO!

Waluigi: Why?

MarioFan2009: Here's a better car!

Waluigi: Holy shito!

MarioFan2009: Start racing

Lakitu: Ready, Steady, Go!

Waluigi: Better without my top!

Waluigi crashes into a tree

Nintendofan997: FAILURE

Mario: It's my time to shine

MarioFan2009: Just go

Mario: It's easy as what?

A banana peel is there on the ground and Mario slips on it

Nintendofan997: FAILURE

Rosalina: I can't wait

Rosalina is in the car in a weird way

Rosalina: This is fun

Wario: The fuck?

Rosalina starts driving, goes up a ramp and gets a green shell

Rosalina: Get in there

But it turns out since nobody else was racing Rosalina got hit and crashed

Nintendofan997: FAILURE

Yoshi: WAHOO YOSHI

Yoshi gets a mushroom

Yoshi: YOSHI (Yoshi crashes into building)

Nintendofan997: And another failure

Luigi: Wow it's my turn

Luigi takes shirt off

Waluigi: WOAH!

Luigi: Luigi number one

During his try, Luigi goes through a ramp looking handsome but hits a Toad balloon

Nintendofan997: Failure

Toadette: I'm gonna win this time

Toadette gets a star

Toadette: What does this do? HOLY SHIT OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD YES! YES! WOW! OH MY GOD! (Toadette is nearly sent to space)

Nintendofan997: Failure

Metal Mario: They see there rolling there hating, patrolling try to catch my ride and

MarioFan2009: Not approviate car

Metal Mario: HEY WHAT THE FUCK?

Metal Mario got a new car

MarioFan2009: Have a blast

Metal Mario Goes through his tiny car and crashed near the ending 2 hours later

Metal Mario: Shit

Wario: I'm the last one then

Wario gets a mega mushroom crushing the course but crashed out of the course

Nintendofan997: How are we going to find out the winner?

Waluigi: There's only one way to find out who's the winner

It's race time with Metal Mario, Toadette, Luigi, Yoshi, Rosalina, Mario, Wario, and Waluigi lining up near the line

Waluigi: Everyone's looking at me

Lakitu: 3, 2, 1, GO!

Everyone is up and running (except Rosalina)

Rosalina: I can win for sure! hehe (Rosalina's car blows up)

Toadette gets a golden mushroom

Toadette: GET IN HAHAHAHA

Waluigi: WOAH

Toadette goes flying with a glide, probably into space

Mario gets a Teletubby power, and is unsure what it's about

Tinky Winky comes in

Mario: WHAT?

Tinky Winky: (Sings a Tubby Custard song)

Mario: Oh dear me

Waluigi: I am going to be the winner!

Luigi: Surprise motherfucker

Waluigi: Oh jesus christ

Luigi: (laughs) only cheaters screw up!

Waluigi: (gets angry, uses mushroom) I can beat the odds

Waluigi gets past the Toad ballon and Luigi is about to cross the finish line, shown in slow motion

Luigi: I am the champion!

Waluigi: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Luigi: Indeed

Waluigi Wins by the last step

Waluigi: Am I the winner?

MarioFan2009: Most likely, what happend to everyone else?

It shows Rosalina struggling to drive, Luigi crying over losing, Toadette in space then Metal Mario on a Toad ballon

Metal Mario: Don't even ask

Yoshi is driving into New York City

Yoshi: See you later losers

Then it shows Wario in the middle of the track as he car broke down farting with a smell of garlic and Mario being invaded by Teletubbies

Tinky Winky: (Tubby Custard song)

Po: Tubby Custard!

Laa-Laa: When I want a hug, you give me a hug

Dipsy: Dipsy!

Nintendofan997: With that performance, you earn this

Waluigi's drivers license comes from the sky with Waluigi looking at it coming down

Mario: Congratulations!

Waluigi: WAH! OH MY GOD WAH (Gets excited over drivers license)

Trivia

 * This story is based on the Mario Kart series