Closing Time at the Durr Burger!

CROSS-ing Over Shorts!

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Episode 27: Closing time at the Durr Burger!

Synopsis: At the Durr Burger, Azaz and AsphaltianOof end up falling asleep after eating too many burgers during the “All you can eat” offer and when they wake up, they find out they are locked inside after closing hours! However, the two decide to have some fun upon realizing they are alone in the establishment...

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At Sunny’s house, Azaz and AsphaltianOof are in the living room, watching TV.

AsphaltianOof: Hey, Azaz?

Azaz: Yes?

AsphaltianOof: Where do you think Sunny is?

Azaz: I don’t know. I think something about her heading off with her new friends or something.

AsphaltianOof: Probably. Also, I’m hungry.

Azaz: Me too. I’ll go look for something.

Azaz enters the kitchen and finds a box of cereal.

Azaz: Yes! We can have cereal!

Azaz pours the cereal into his mouth, but spits it out and it turns out to be dirt.

Azaz: DIRT?! WHO PUTS DIRT IN CEREAL?!?

AsphaltianOof: Well, Sunny only eats dirt so that’s pretty much all she has!

Azaz: Oh.

Azaz heads outside and spots a massive pile of chicken nuggets.

Azaz: Oh, yes! We’re having some nuggets tonight-

???: I think not!

The camera pans up to reveal Radish on top of the Nugget mountain.

Radish: These nuggets are mine! Now begone!

Azaz: Darn it!

Azaz heads back inside, but hears a slurping sound.

Azaz: What is that?

Azaz enters the living room and notices AsphaltianOof drinking a can of “Drinkable Sausage”.

Azaz: Hey! HEY! IS THAT DRINKABLE SAUSAGE?!?

AsphaltainOof quickly hides the can behind his back.

AsphaltianOof: What are you talking about?

Azaz: I KNOW YOU HAVE DRINKABLE SAUSAGE! GIVE ME SOME!

AsphaltainOof: No! This is mine!

Azaz lunges at AsphaltianOof, but he kicks him into a picture of Denny Funny, causing it to fall and shatter as Azaz gets up.

Azaz: Ow! You just hit me!

AsphaltianOof: I know! This is MY Drinkable Sausage!

Azaz: GIVE ME SOME!

Azaz and AsphaltainOof fight over the Drinkable Sausage, only to spill it all over the floor.

AsphaltainOof: NOOO!!!

AsphaltainOof drops to the floor and frantically licks the drinkable sausage off the ground. Suddenly, a commercial on the TV comes on.

Announcer: Are any one of you trying to find a place to eat? Then, come on down to the Durr Burger! We have an all you can eat option so you can eat as much burgers as you please!

The TV shuts off.

Azaz: Did you hear that, AsphaltainOof? There’s a restaurant called Durr Burger!

AsphaltainOof: That sounds tasty! We should go there!

Azaz: Ok! Besides, there’s...

Azaz and AsphaltainOof: ALL YOU CAN EAT!!!

Later.

At Durr Burger, a montage begins of Azaz and AsphaltiainOof eating various foods. Azaz slices a hot dog in half and stuffs it as well as potato chips into the burger and eats it. AsphaltianOof is in the kitchen where he cooks a cheeseburger, stuffs it into another cheeseburger, deep frys two more cheeseburgers, pours ketchup all over the cheeseburger stuffed cheeseburger and puts the deep fried cheeseburgers on the top and bottom layer. Afterwards, he then eats the entire burger.

One eating montage later.

Azaz and AsphaltainOof stumble into the bathroom with bloated bellies.

Azaz: Oh Man! I’ve never ate that much food before!

AsphaltianOof: Me too! I think I see a bright light..

Azaz and AsphaltianOof collapse and pass out.

A few hours later.

Azaz and AsphaltianOof wake back up and notice the lights are out.

Azaz: Woah! What happened to the lights?

AsphaltianOof: Maybe the great electric banshee took all the power!

Azaz: Let’s leave.

Azaz and AsphaltianOof exit the bathroom and notice there is nobody in the restaurant and it is nighttime.

AsphaltianOof: Where did everybody go?

Azaz: I don’t know.

Azaz tries to open the entrance door, but it is locked.

Azaz: What the?!?

AsphaltianOof: What is it, Azaz?

Azaz: I can’t open the door! It’s shut!

AsphaltianOof: Let me have a try.

AsphaltainOof heads to the door and raises his hands.

AsphaltianOof: Open sesame! Well, I’ve done all I can do.

Azaz: Wait a minute. I just realized something, AsphaltianOof!

AsphaltianOof: What is it, Azaz?

Azaz: If we’re the only ones in here, then that means we can do whatever we want!

AsphaltianOof: Sweet

Azaz: You know what I’m thinking?

AsphaltianOof: I sure do...

Azaz and AsphaltianOof: LLAAAATTEE SSHHHIFFFTTT!!!

Later. AsphaltianOof is seen exiting the bathroom holding a cup full of worms. AsphaltianOof heads towards the counter as the camera cuts to the inside of the kitchen where Azaz is head banging while grilling burgers.

AsphaltianOof: Hey, Azaz! Check out these cool nightcrawlers I found in the toilets!

Azaz: Cool!

Azaz gets on the intercom and starts doing air guitar, singing Judas Priest’s “Nightcrawler”

Azaz: Bring forth the sacrificial worms!

Azaz and AsphaltainOof walking into the kitchen and prepare the fry-cooker.

Azaz: And now, to make the seasoned curly fries.

AsphaltianOof pours the worms into the deep fryer.

Azaz: I’ll give you a dollar if you eat one, dude!

AsphaltianOof: No way! These are for the next customer!

Azaz: Dude. There isn’t going to be another customer. It’s closing time. You know what that means?

Azaz and AsphaltianOof knew that this only means one thing...

Azaz and AsphaltianOof: BURGER TAAAAAAAAAAAAAG!!!!!

Azaz grabs a burger patty off the grill and throws it at AsphaltianOof.

Azaz: You’re it, dude!

Azaz makes a run for it out into the dining area, but AsphaltianOof throws a meat patty at Azaz and it strikes him in the head. Azaz then makes a run for the counter, ducking and dodging like in some 90s action movie. Azaz throws a meat patty at AsphaltianOof, but he threw it so hard, it flies directly into the ceiling fan, splattering meat all over the place.

Azaz: Woah! That was cool!

AsphaltianOof: Yeah!

Suddenly, miniature lightbulbs appear above Azaz and AsphaltianOof, giving them the most awesome idea ever...

Later.

Both Azaz and AsphaltianOof exit the kitchen with their arms full of food as the camera cuts to the ceiling fan.

Azaz: One quarter-pound Durr Burger with cheese!

Azaz tosses the burger into the fan.

Azaz: One chocolate shake!

Azaz throws the shake in as well.

Azaz: One large family pack of chicken nuggets!

AsphaltainOof: One large cola!

Azaz and AsphaltianOof throw the nuggets and cola into the fan at the same time, making a huge mess!

Azaz: Would you like some fries to go with that, sir?

Azaz throws the fries into the fan, sending the fries flying every which way.

Later.

We see Azaz and AsphaltianOof marveling at the utter chaos they created throughout the night. Soon enough, Brooklyn Guy enters.

Azaz: (spotting Brooklyn Guy) Uhh, we’re, like, closed or something.

Brooklyn Guy: I am not a customer. I’m from the health inspector’s office. My name is Brooklyn T. Guy. Anyways, I don’t normally come out this late, but tonight ALONE, I have received numerous complaints about this facility. For example, HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN THIS MESS?!?!

Brooklyn Guy points to the massive mess.

Azaz: (pointing to the ceiling fan.) Uhh, there seems to be a problem with the ceiling fan.

Brooklyn Guy: Well, with just one look, I can tell you right away that this place is going to be shut down for at least a few days.

Azaz and AsphaltianOof look at each other, realizing they might get in big trouble for this.

Later.

Brooklyn Guy is seen assessing the number of health violations. All the while, Azaz and AsphaltainOof are singing the theme song to Jeopardy! as he makes his assessment.

Brooklyn Guy: Well, I’ve counted 37 different health code violations, and I’m going to beg they were all caused during your shift!

Brooklyn Guy sniffs the air for a second.

Brooklyn Guy: Hey! Something smells very good!

Azaz: That would be our seasoned curly fries, sir!

Brooklyn Guy: Well, I am kinda hungry, and I’d hate to see you throw all that food away. Maybe I can cut you a break in exchange for some of those fires?

AsphaltianOof goes to get the worms they were cooking earlier, and gives them to Brooklyn Guy, who eats them rather quickly.

Azaz: We also have a couple dozen hamburgers.

Brooklyn Guy: No, thanks! They’ve probably been sitting at room temperature long enough to get worms.

Azaz and AsphaltianOof laugh at Brooklyn Guy because, in hind sight, he’s eating worms!

Brooklyn Guy: Well, boys, here’s a copy of the paperwork.

Brooklyn Guy hands Azaz his report.

Brooklyn Guy: I’ll be in touch with the manger in the morning. In the mean time, this restaurant is to remain closed, and the food here is declared unservable.

Azaz: What does that mean?

Brooklyn Guy: It means you can do whatever you want with it, as long as you don’t serve it to the customers.

Brooklyn Guy leaves the duo to finish out the night, which upon those words, 2 small atomic explosions happen near their heads like Idea bulbs and the duo realized this can only mean one thing...

Azaz and AsphlatianOof: BURGER WAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!

The next day.

Goodman is seen unlocking the door to Durr Burger. He heads inside to see the horrific mess from the night before.

Goodman: WHAT THE F***?!?! If I ever get my hands on the punks who did this!

Goodman looks around at the chaos, while Azaz and AsphaltianOof sneak out to avoid getting caught. Goodman then smells the air.

Goodman: Say, something smells good!

Goodman walks into the kitchen.

Azaz: (shouting from the entrance) TRY THE CURLY FRIES!

Azaz and AsphaltianOof watch as Goodman pulls out one of the fried worms and eats it. Azaz starts laughing.

Azaz: That was cool!

AsphaltianOof: Yeah!

Azaz and AsphaltianOof make a run for it, laughing as they get away from Durr Burger.

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