Thread:CuldeeFell13/@comment-31233271-20190913221354

Culdee: You guys, you guys! Get up! Listen to me! There's a lake a hundred yards down that way! They've got a marina with boats just sitting there!

Endless: A marina?

Culdee: We can take a boat, you guys! We can probably take it all the way back to Fairplay!

Mariofan: What's the point?

Culdee: Come on you guys! A boat all to ourselves? It'll be fun! What could possibly go wrong?! [an announcer says the following lines]

Announcer: "The following program contains graphic re-enactments that may be disturbing to some audience members." The marina. This is the live-action segment of the episode by the way

Narrator: Four young boys in Colorado are on a trip from hell. [shots of the boys screaming on various parts of the boat] Trapped on a 42-foot powerboat [named Puffin] which is only allowed to go five miles an hour. [some footage is dropped to speed up the boat in time-lapse form]

Mariofan: Because we keep getting screwed over by your diarrhea!

Endless: Well it's not my diarrhea's fault that you took us all ziplining, you fuckin' Dumbass!

Mariofan: Ziplining was your idea, you jackass!

Narrator: The fourth graders are in a nightmare they cannot escape.

Endless: RH, whose idea was it to go ziplining? Mine, or Mariofan’s?

RH: [slurring his speech] I don't know. I really don't give a shit.

Narrator: For four boys with no lives, an alrady tragic day becomes a descent into madness on... "I Should Have Never Got On A Goddamn Boat" [more shots of the boys on the Puffin]

Mariofan: Oh no. [Endless lowers a 20-oz. bottle of Mountain Dew] You're not stinking up the entire boat! You're taking a crap off the side into the water.

"The events in this film took place over 4 hours in the Colorado Rockies." Endless is shitting over the side of the boat, Culdee screams, Mariofan and RH vomit over other sides, Endless continues to shit

RH: Beavers! [a beaver is swimming in the water]

"This is a true story."

The Users are resting on a bench on the boat now

Narrator: After cleaning Endless diarrhea and fighting off beavers, the boys have made a terrifying discovery: that boating is just as boring as ziplining.

Culdee: [being interviewed] The boat went really slow and it just went round and round.

Endless: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Narrator: If the boys fall asleep now, from the lack of excitement, they could die. [Culdee looks ready to sleep. Endless takes a swig of Mountain Dew]

Mariofan: Here! [takes Endless bottle] Everyone drink some Mountain Dew!

Mariofan: [being interviewed] I don't know, I-I just thought if we all drank the Mountain Dew, the caffeine and the sugar would help us stay awake. I told Endless he has to share it.

Endless: I'm not sharing with RH. He has herpes! (Please note that was just a joke I didn’t exactly meant the joke)

RH: Hey. [tugs on Endless, who turns to look at him] Fuck you, Endless.

(The Puffin, some time later)

Narrator: Four Users in Colorado are on a trip from hell. [individual shots of the boys. They all have oral herpes now] And just when it seems it can't get any worse... [the boys are nodding off again]

Culdee: ...RH? RH! [RH has slid down on the seat, but his eyes are open]

Narrator: RH has died of boredom.

Mariofan: Oh my God, they killed RH! YOU BASTARDS!

Endless: No, not they, YOU! Look what your ziplining idea has done! You killed RH, YOU're the bastard!

Mariofan: IT WASN'T MY IDEA, IT WAS YOURS! YOU KILLED RH, YOU BASTARD!

Culdee: [being interviewed] And finally, I couldn't hold it in anymore. I said "Stop it!"

Culdee: [rises and walks a bit] Stop it! It was me! My idea.

Endless: You?!

Culdee: Four days ago, I came across a brochure for ziplining. [reaches into his pocket and pulls out the brochure for Backcountry Adventures, then looks at it for a few seconds] I thought it would be fun. I only acted like it was an idea we all came up with together. [Mariofan and Endless look at each other]

Mariofan: So you intended for us to go ziplining all along? Why, Culdee?!

Culdee: [turns to face them] If you signed up three friends, you got a free iPod Nano. [the camera pans down and sure enough, the offer is on the brochure cover: Sign up 3 friends and get an iPod NANO!!!]

Mariofan: You sold us out?! For an iPod Nano?!

Culdee: I had no idea ziplining would be so boring.

Endless: [points at Culdee] You... You killed RH! [Culdee begins to weep]

Mariofan; You BAStard! You BAStard, Culdee! [a shot of RH, then a shot of the three surviving users crying. Mariofan cries on Endless shoulder and Endless comforts him]

Mariofan: [being interviewed] How many iPod Nanos is friendship worth? I guess, one.

Culdee: [being interviewed, crying] The hardest part about it is knowing you can't take it back. [wipes away the flowing tears] I mean, it was the fifth-generation Nano, so I can't trade it in anywhere.

Narrator: But then, miraculously, the boys' prayers are finally answered. [the boys look around, startled]

Endless: [being interviewed] It was a miracle. He came to save us and take us back home.

Endless: You came for us!

Mariofan: Sunny!

Culdee Thank you. [whispers] Thank you Sunny. [ Sunny Funny has landed on the boat, at the top of an armrest]

Sunny: [without the falsetto voice] Howdy ho, boys? Let's get you back home. I need to make sure Boko don’t get my crops[the Users are overjoyed at their good fortune]

Endless: [being interviewed] We were saved. It was over.

Narrator: After nearly four hours in the Colorado wilderness, the Users are finally going home. From the boat, the Users were airlifted aboard Sunny’s magical helicrapter. [shown, the images are back to the cartoon form] In the four hours since they had left home, the boys had traveled so far that Sunny then had to fly them on his Seven Sunny Seven. [a jet plane made of flowers] From there, it was only an hour ride back home on the Sunflower Express. [The ziplining Shockabra pictures are shown] Four friends, turn apart by tragedy [RH image vanishes, leaving the forest background in place], would now start the long journey back to forgiveness. RH remains were finally brought home to the SML Admins. [Sunny delivers them personally. The Admins are distraught] And the Users received treatment for their herpes. [two paramedics treat Culdee and Endless as Sunny. looks on from above. Culdee and Endless focus on Sunny.]

Endless: [being interviewed] No, I didn't get herpes, I just had a cold sore.

Narrator: [shots of the scenes being described are shown] Mariofan spent twenty seven days in the hospital having fecal matter removed from his nasal passages. Culdee Fell dedicated himself to raising awareness about the boredom risks of ziplining. [a lecture tour. Culdee is shown on stage with a "No on Ziplining" logo] His awareness videos became so popular that Culdee once again ended up playing Fortnite. As for Endless he just went back what does best not finishing stories.

Endless: [Being interviewed] Hey it’s writers block!

It was stolen from a part of a South Park Episode 