SML Movie: Bill the Substitute Teacher!



Bowser Jr.: I can’t believe we have to go back to school!

Cody: But this is awesome! I can’t wait to learn more!

Joseph: Cody no one likes to be in school and you know it!

Cody: But if you get a good education, you can go to a good college and make lots of money being a doctor or lawyer!

Bowser Jr.: Who would want to do that?

The intercom turns on

Principal Steinbeck: On the intercom Attention all retards! Jackie Chu has called in a sick day and won’t show up today. You will have a substitute teacher. That’s it for now, have a horrible day!

Bowser Jr.: A substitute?! How lame!

Cody: I hope the substitute is Chris Pratt... he’s so hot!

Joseph: Now that’s weird!

Bill: Entering the class What’s up jerks?

Bowser Jr.: IT’S BILL FROM VIOLETTE1ST!!!

Jeffy: Donald Trump is that you?!

Bill: I’m not Trump jerk! Now let me introduce myself!

Bill goes to the front of the classroom

Bill: Okay, jerks, my name is Bill. And I will be your substitute teacher until Jackie Chu comes back. Any questions?

Toad: I have one!

Bill: Yes jerk?

Toad: Why do you call us all jerks?

Bill: Because I’ve seen SML before! You all act like jerks like my son William! Especially Jeffy!

Jeffy: HEY!!! I’M NOT A JERK FATASS!!!

Bill: SHUT UP JERK!!! Now let’s get teaching!

Bill pulls up a PowerPoint about Big Macs

Bill: For today’s lesson, we will learn about Big Macs.

Cody: Big Macs aren’t healthy!

Bill: Shut up jerk!

Bill moves to the next slide

Bill: The Big Mac is the greatest invention since electricity. It’s one of the greatest foods of all time. But how was it created?

Bully Bill: It was created out of your ass!

Bill: You stop this now jerk! I know your intentions and you will not ruin my teachings!

Bully Bill: Whatever!

Bill moves to the next slide

Bill: The Big Mac can be traced back to 800 BCE. The burger was created by the Greeks using the Cattle of Helios. It was the meat that made everyone want to eat a Big Mac.

Patrick: Hey teacher! I just drew a picture of a polar bear poop on a duck who is doing Fortnite dances all while kangaroos are spitting at hurricanes! That’s so crazy!

Bill: You’re crazy jerk! You have ADHD issues that need to be addressed immediately!

Bowser Jr.: Stop making fun of us!

Cody: Yeah! Or be prepared to face my monstrous muscles!

Bill: You don’t have muscles jerk! And if you dingbags keep this us, I will give you jerks Fs!

Bowser Jr.: Sorry...

Bill moves to the next slide

Bill: The Big Mac would die around the beginnings of the Roman Republic, and it won’t be come back until 1955 in San Bernardino, California. Ronald McDonald studied the food of the Greeks and chose to replicate the Big Mac by cloning the Cattle of Helios. Not much is known about the cloning machine besides the fact that it’s based in Arizona and clones the Cattle of Helios, but it still tastes amazing. And the Big Mac continues to impress taste buds to this day.

Jeffy: THAT WAS THE WORST PRESENTATION EVER!!!

Bowser Jr.: YEAH!!! WE WANT JACKIE CHU BACK!!!

The whole class chants and demands the return of Jackie Chu

Bill: THAT’S IT JERKS!!!

Bill throws Big Macs at the class

Bowser Jr.: OH MY GOD!!! HE’S ATTACKING US!!!

Joseph: I’M TOO YOUNG AND POOR TO DIE DUDE!!!

Cody: IF I HAD MY MUSCLES, I WOULD BEAT YOU UP BY NOW!!!

Jeffy: I know how to stop Donald Trump!

Jeffy throws Burger King and Wendy’s at Bill

Bill: YOU FRICKING JERK!!! BURGER KING AND WENDY’S ARE MY WEAK POINTS!!!

Bill runs out of the class

Bowser Jr.: You did it Jeffy!

Bully Bill: The retard actually did something good!

Cody: Can I kiss you as a way to say thank you?

Principal Steinbeck: On the intercom Attention all retards! The substitute teacher reported that his students were raging and throwing Burger King and Wendy’s at him! As punishment, all students in Jackie Chu’s class will go to detention! Have fun in detention, losers!

Everyone: FUCK!!!