SuperMarioLogan: Devolution (Full Version)

World Premiere: June 12 2020

Episode 1: The Beginning Of The End
(Shows YouTube originals logo) (Shows Sony logo) (Shows Columbia Pictures logo) (Shows Imagine Entertainment logo) (Shows Point Grey logo) (Shows Village Roadshow Pictures logo) [first lines] Me: (V.O) Legend has it They were chosen by the awesome ones. Mario And Luigi Monroe. A.K.A - The Super Mario Bros. The duo entered as a passageway to the worlds beyond science and superstition. They was born long ago, when Heroes ran wild of justice. It was this courage that was used to fill the brothers’ hearts In the year 2007, the bros. disappeared. It seems in a world perhaps you've seen in your dreams, your imagination, your stories. For the story you're about to be told began with the worlds of mystery. Now you've probably wondered what world combines The Finest And forgotten. If you haven't, I'd say it's time you begun. [The story begins with a computer screen surfing through the Databases.] Computer: Now, accessing story databases. [The clicker moves to the files that reads "The Age of Monarch," "The Origin of the Men In Black," "The Fall Of Asgard," "The Demise of the KND," "The Life Cycle of Yautja." and "The Revenge of The Mario Bros." The clicker clicks on "The Revenge of The Mario Bros." file.] Computer: You have selected historical file number 7-14-83: The Revenge of The Mario Bros. Mario (V.O.): Alright, let’s do this. My name is Mario Monroe. Luigi (V.O.): And I’m Luigi Monroe QUICK CUTS of The Mario bros. Putting on their hats...a couple name tags that reads “Mario Monroe” And “Luigi Monroe”...various shots of The Mario Bros. IN ACTION. Mario And Luigi (V.O.): We were flushed into the mushroom kingdom and for 30 years we’ve been the one and only Mario Bros. (One By One): We’re pretty sure you know the rest. We saved a bunch of people, fell in love, Raced around the world, and then we saved the world again and again and again... Mario And Luigi save the city, kisses peach and Daisy, Racing. The shots evoke ICONIC Mario And Luigi IMAGES, but each one is subtly different, somehow altered. Mario (V.O.): And uh... We did this. Cut to the Mario Bros. Do the Mario on the street, exactly like in the super Mario bros. Super show. Luigi (V.O.): We really talk about this. A LOT. A THREE PANEL SPLIT SCREEN: shots of Mario And Luigi’s past: Mario (V.O.) Get This, We’re a comic book, a cereal, a ghostbuster, did a few tv shows. We have an excellent theme song. Luigi (V.O.) (CONT'D): And a so-so Movie. I mean, I’ve seen worse. Especially in Luigi’s mansion MATCH CUT -- Mario And Luigi, PINNED to a WALL by Ursula’s tentacle. Kingpin punches Mario. Predator fights Luigi. Mario (V.O.): But after everything, Luigi And I still love being a true hero. I mean, who wouldn’t? Mario And Luigi run toward a SUPER COLLIDER, something we’ll see quite soon. They SLAMMED TO THE GROUND. Luigi (V.O.): So no matter how many hits we take- Both: -We always find a way to come back. The Mario bros. GET UP... in a shot that we will also remember, RIGHT BEFORE Predator GRABS HIM. The collider EXPLOLDING, the force of the blast rippling through New York. Mario (V.O.): Because the only thing standing between this universe and oblivion is Luigi And me. Luigi (V.O.): There’s only one Mario And Luigi. Both (V.O.): And you’re looking at them. The WINK. Man, They’re cool. Mario (V.O.): Now let’s take a trip to our past on how it all began. Long ago, the earth was ruled by dinosaurs. They were the first titans unlike kaiju, so not a lot of people went around hassling them. In fact, no one roamed the earth because there weren't any humans yet. Just the first mammals. Basically life was good for them. Alro: You know, it just doesn’t get any better than this. Littlefoot: Yeah 65 Million Years Ago Mario: Then something appended. A giant meteorite struck the earth. Death to the dinosaurs. But what if those dinosaurs weren't all killed? What if the impact of that meteorite created a parallel dimension... where the dinosaurs continue to thrive and evolve into intelligent... vicious, aggressive beings, just like us? And like I told you What if they found a way back? Unfortunately... the answer is for another day Ext. Palace - night (The gates swing open for Hera’s limo. The mansion is lit up, with 1910’s dressed partygoers streaming inside. They salute as Hera’s limo pulls up.) Mario: (os cont’d) In the beginning: There was a time, not very long ago, when I lived in an enchanted world of elegant palaces and grand fancy parties you didn’t know The year was 1983… (The mansion doors swing open. Music pours out, and sounds of gaiety. Hera sweeps inside, dancing couples salute as she passes.) Mario: (os cont’d) …and my dad 7 Grand Dad, was the czar of Glorious Verona Beach. (Move into mansion) Int. Catherine palace - night (Elegant loyalists, in 17th century costumes, waltz in the main hall as an orchestra plays) Hera: Hello darlings Mario: (os) We were celebrating the three hundredth anniversary of our family’s honor Nicholas: (laughter) Mario: (os cont’d) It’s to make the separation easier for us. (Hera hands her a beautiful MUSIC BOX.) Mario: Oh My God! Is it a jewelry box?! Hera: Look. (Hera takes out a key, a small silver flower on a neck chain. She puts it into the back of the music box, and winds it.) MUSIC BOX THEME Mario And Luigi nodded no and walked away (Hera hands Mario the key) Read what it says. (CLOSE on MUSIC BOX KEY bearing the inscription "Together in Brazil.") Mario: "Together in Brazil". The power shuts down Mario: What happened to the electricity? GROUP SHOT as PEOPLE in the ballroom look around bewildered. Then, a WHIRLWIND kicks up, sending everyone off the dance floor, as the whirlwind becomes a TORNADO. The tornado reaches it's peak and EXPLODES in smoke leaving Darkness standing alone in the middle of the floor. He is of indeterminate age, towering Over other men in the room, his most striking feature are his eyes- which at this moment are burning a fiery red. He is dressed in a flowing black monk's robe with a satin rope tied around his waist. Connected to the rope is a glowing RELIQUARY, a mystical lantern. (Gasp from the crowd and the room falls silent. THE CROWD parts before a dark figure.) (THE DARK FIGURE is Darkness, stalking through the crowd, people falling back in fear and surprise, crushing a champagne glass underfoot.) Mario: (os) But we wouldn’t be together in Brazil at all. For a dark shadow had descended upon the house of the Monroes. His name was Darkness. He’s not your average everyday devil, We thought he was a Holy Man. But he was a fraud, power-mad and a dangerous inter dimensional dictator. (Darkness has reached 7 Grand Dad) 7 Grand Dad: Darkness! How dare you return to Verona? Darkness: But I am your confidante! 7 Grand Dad: Confidante? Ha! You’re nothing but a traitor. Get out of my house!! Darkness: After all I've done for your family - YOU TRIED TO KILL ME!!! (cont’d) You think you can banish me? The awesome Lord of Darkness? By the unholy powers vested in me. It is I who banishes YOU with a curse. The PEOPLE back away in terror. Darkness: (cont’d) (to 7 Grand Dad ) …mark my words. You, your wife, children, both of your entire family trees and your dynasties will die within the fortnight! I will not rest until I see the END OF THE MONROE LINE FOREVER! (He raises the RELIQUARY, sending a bolt of lightning to the Chandelier which crashes to the floor.) (Points To the others) Who Else Is Guilty. . . . . . . Stand Up And CONFESS! The guests were squirming Darkness: Nobody? The fairy godmother said so! You will die! Like the other before you. One by one we will take you! Darkness points at Mario And Luigi. Darkness: Was it you two, you scroungy little fools, yes?! Mario: Sir, no, sir! Darkness: No? You look like worms! I'll bet it was you! Luigi: Bullshit! Arlene: I traded your soul for another! Darkness steps up to Hera. Darkness: Well ...No- Dare I say... shit? What have we got here? Xero? I admire your honesty. Hell, I like you. You can come over to my house and Mate with my 9000 wives. Arlene makes a derp face (Darkness (FLASHBACK) Kneeling in a sorcerer’s caldron, cowers as a huge, shadowy figure appears above him.) Mario: (os) Consumed by his hatred for the Monroes, Darkness sold his soul for the power to kill them. (Darkness raises his arms in supplication. A shadow, like smoke in a windstorm, leaves Darkness, sucked toward the terrible figure. As his soul leaves him, he becomes a Skeleton spooky isn’t it? Then the RELIQUARY materializes in mid-air before Darkness’s skeleton. It reaches out, grasps it, and Darkness RESUMES HIS FORM. With the guts regenerating We PULL IN CLOSE on the Reliquary in his hand.) Darkness: (to Reliquary) Go fulfill your dark purpose, and seal the fate of 7 Grand Father And Agent Xero’s Families once and for all. (He holds the Reliquary aloft. The locked gates hold back the crowd of demonstrators.) PULL BACK to reveal. EXT. Darkness AT THE PALACE GATES – NIGHT Mario: (os) From that day of the spark of unhappiness in our country was fanned into a flame that would soon kill us all. (SMOKE wisps from the top of the Reliquary, assuming the form of Darkness’s MINIONS. The Gremlins attack the chain holding the gate shut, breaking it, letting the demonstrators pour into the palace.) (Kree Warriors with rifles storming the palace grounds. Statue of 7 Grand Dad falls to crush.) INT. PALACE (Monroe family in nightclothes, running down a hallway fighting back.) Girl: Help! Help! 7 Grand Dad: Get Everyone Out! I’ll hold them off! (Mario And Luigi stops in their tracks, as their family continues down the hallway.) Mario: Luigi Get My music box! Luigi grabs the music box (Mario grabs her music box as Luigi rushes in. SHOTS are heard. Hera bursts in from wall panel.) Bartok: [Grunt] Oy. (On impact of landing on window sill) Hera: Please hurry! Luigi: Come this way, out the servants quarters. (loud rifle) Hera: Hurry Up Guys! (Hera enters the secret doorway. Luigi shoves Mario in behind him, giving the music box right to his hand.) Bartok: My lord, they’re getting away. Mario: My music box. (Alarmed Bartok watches Mario escape.) Luigi: Go, go! (He pushes him through as angry revolutionaries burst in the door. He slams the panel shut and puts his body in front of it.) QUICK CUT TO: (Bartok, seeing Mario and Luigi escape, flies off looking for Darkness.) Guard: Comrades, in here. (A huge revolutionary approaches 7 Grand and slaps him hard.) Guard: Where are they, Old Man Nicholas? 7 Grand Dad: Your Ass! (The guard knocks him to the floor with the butt of his rifle. Before 7 Grand Dad grabs his and his chin is bleeding and on the floor.) EXT. FROZEN RIVER (With the palace in FLAMES behind them, Mario is running with Luigi across the ice. it is very cold, the brothers are not dressed for it. They pass under a bridge.) Mario: Luigi! Luigi: Hurry Your ass up! (The boys look behind them and gasps.) (Angle on Darkness, leaping down upon them from atop the bridge, landing hard on the ice, grabs a hold of Mario’s ankle and won’t let go.) Luigi: (sees the mad man.) Darkness! Mario: Let me go, damnit! Darkness: (Thrashing in the water) You’ll never escape me, boy, Never! NEVER! Hahahaha! Mario: This guy’s out of his fucking mind! (The ice breaks beneath him and he falls into the river. Mario wrenches himself free, and sees Darkness thrashing about in the water. He’s going down, and they lock eyes for a moment, his glowing, hypnotic eyes full of rage and fury. He calls out to the Bat.) Darkness: Bartok! Bartok: Master! Darkness: Mark my words boys when I thaw YOU SHALL PAY! ONE DAYS BOYS! ONE DAY! Mario: Fuck You! (Mario breaks the gaze and runs away.) (Darkness’s fingernails - digging into the ice, can’t find purchase. He is slowly dragged under. One last desperate reach out of the water, and Rasputin is sucked under by the current.) (Angle on Reliquary - All that’s left of Darkness, rolling away from the hole in the ice. Bartok swoops down, scooping it up, and disappears into the black night.) EXT. TRAIN STATION – NIGHT (mass confusion as people shove to get on the train. Mario and Luigi race to get on, fighting their way through the frightened crowd.) Mario: Luigi hurry, hurry!! Make Way! (Passengers pull Mario on board the train and Luigi is running to catch up.) Luigi: Bro!! Mario: Take my hand. Hold on to my goddamn hand! (Luigi reaches up and takes Mario’s hand. He is desperate, frightened.) Luigi: Don’t let go! (Close on the two hands, then suddenly, he makes it) Mario: You Are one giant scaredy cat Mario (os): With the fall of my Monroes, Luigi And I fell back to the only remaining place where we could escape the powerful Darkness. The Mushroom Kingdom. The people there allowed us to live where we could claim sanctuary After years of rescuing peach From bowser over and over because he’s got an attitude of Gaston And for a time, it wasn't so bad. But it was not long before we began to yearn for the strippers we once had for lap dances, the streets we once explored, and the toys they once played with on In Chronopolis. So, the ambassadors came to the mushroom kingdom with plans for a civil, stable relationship with other species. One where they could all live on the city that never leaps in harmony and equality. The kingdom decided to willingly live together with humans in In a truce. Humans and toads could finally live together as equals. Or could they?! Soon In 2007, Bowser Banished me and Luigi into YouTube. A TREMOR hits the room causing the same strange “color separation” we saw before. The plumbers’ whole body suddenly SHAKES AND VIBRATES as he LOOKS UP Where A PSYCHEDELIC PORTAL YAWNS OPEN, sucking Mario and Luigi TOWARD IT -- their bodies FLY UP, halftones more prominent-- Mario (V.O): ... And I gotta say, weird things happen to me a lot. But this was the gateway to hell They use their limbs to fight but it's TOO STRONG... the portal CLOSES. INT. INTER-DIMENSIONAL PORTAL - CONTINUOUS Mario And Luigi fly SCREAMING through an INSANE MULTIVERSE they are falling towards a STRANGE KALEIDOSCOPE Casting Luigi out and Mario’s heading towards a tv screen Mario: HOLY SHIIIIIIIIIIII- (Echos) The Light Transits to the basement’s light November 22, 2019 https://youtu.be/Ct7-_SOI3_8 plays Mario walks down the stairs coldly after Goodman told Mario he will be coming back for his car payment. Mario enters a code on the keypad to enter the doorway. He climbs down a set of stairs to an elevator. He opens a panel besides the elevator and inputs the alchemical symbols for "composition," "pulverize," "digestion," and "fusion" followed by the 'down' button. He enters and the elevator and goes to the third floor. Mario exits into a room filled with arsenals, photo albums, histories and statues. He walks past them to a desk and switchboard. He opens the desk and pulls out a book, revealing a photo album and begins flipping pages he notices pictures of him with everyone, then he noticed his old photo booth pictures he first sees his picture with puffy amiyumi features Ami, yumi and Mario smile, they did the bunny ears they put on mask costume sunglasses (Ami: Bubbles, Yumi: Venom And Mario: Mr Spock) Mario: If only I could come on tour with you, But I have other things to do from now on. Mario grabs a couple stickers of everyone in the sml universe to cover Ami and Yumi’s faces Then he looks at everything he’s done for all and covers everyone who’s ever trusted him and replaces them with everyone in the sml universe and tweets about with everyone responding

Bowser: Yeahaha! Get him outta here!

Jeffy: I'll have you turned back into my slave for the rest of your days! I am the boss now!

Toad: Karma, Bitch.

Brooklyn Guy: Age Acting is the thing of the past, now WE can do whatever we want! Who Needs Your Old Pals when you got us?

Goodman: You’re Gonna Have House Payments Everyday for the rest of your life

Dewey: Don’t bother regaining the hero in you, it’s all about the down-to-earth you nowadays, So get with the program!

Rosalina: You’re Our Puppet from now on...

Tyrone: That’s right mofo! You deserve retirement because you’re just a tired old hero who absorbs stuff for power. Now I can see why the newbies filled the oldies’ shoes

Mario walks up the stairs and closes the door

October 31th

Craig: Alright, Like the boss said: Get the book and get out.

(Cut to inside, near the ceiling of one room. An EMP disables the security system; turn down to a window, through which his shadow becomes visible among the bushes. Craig opens a pane, looks around.)

Craig: Bingo!

(He is then knocked to the floor by the pane swinging down.)

Craig: Damnit!

(Getting to him feet, he looks around. Cut to her perspective, panning slowly across the width of the museum - His gaze focuses on a door set in the far wall and zooms in. Back to him.)

Craig: Bleehh! Come to papa!

(Cut to the open door, the camera pointing into the ancient artifacts room, then fires a grappling hook from his belt toward the doors; it embeds itself just above. A second hook extends from the belt, and sticks in the fixture as a second anchor. Then leaps and slides toward the door on this makeshift zip line without being noticed. Reaching the other end, he stands atop the frame and reels in the line behind him. The grappling hook strikes him in the nuts.)

(Cut to just inside this entrance; he peeks around ever so cautiously. As he speaks, the camera turns down to point at the floor, rotates 180 degrees, and then turns back up to point across the floor, which is littered with replica looking artifacts.)

Craig: Now, where did they keep that book... (Turn up farther to expose another tree, a drawing board, and a wall calendar.) ...if it’s a replica, I swear I’m gonna blow the museum to kingdom come.

(On the end of this, pan right to show a glass in the far corner, lies the book in that glass with a a lot of locks and Barbed Wires set up on it. He approaches this, and peeks up over the edge and grabs his hogwarts wand.)

Craig: Alohomora!

The spell then unlocks all the locks

Craig: Shit on a biscuit, The Book Is Real!

The book looks the Necronomiconnaturom

(He reaches into view and hacks the security system; Craig then reads the text on the board.)

Craig: ""Necronomiconaturom Ex Mortis Demonto"" roughly translated, ""Book of Monstrology"". The book is bound in human flesh and inked in human blood. It deals with demons, dark side consuming and villainy resurrection and those forces which roam the realms and dark bowers of man's domain. The first few pages warn that these enduring creatures may lie dormant but are never truly dead. They may be recalled to active life through the incantations presented in this book. It is through recitation of these passages that the demons are given license to possess the living. (Grabs his hogwarts wand) Finestra! (The glass shatters)

Craig is overcome with grabbing the book, but then, he realizes he left a trace.

Craig: Avada Kedavra!

(Craig blows a huge hole out of the museum on the quiet and empty streets and rebuilds that hole.)

Craig: Reparo!

Later

Craig enters a supernatural graveyard

Craig: The Complex Of Souls, it does exist!

Craig: Now is the time, AWAKEN MY MASTERS!

Present Day

Goodman: Breaking news M’Kay! We just made a disgraceful realization! Long time running plush channel SuperMarioLogan is not what it seemed. The channel’s Wiki General Discussion board, in it’s Forum Methyl salicylate asked Will SuperMarioLogan be terminated? It had the lyrics to King’s dead from black panther La di da di da, slob on me knob Pass me some syrup, fuck me in the car La di da di da, mothafuck the law Chitty chitty bang, murder everything, if you haven’t listened to the black panther soundtrack go listen to it right now M’kay the original songs are by rapper Kendrick Lamar, imagine if he does a Diss Song on toad. Back on topic SkipDipTheUltimateHater said I surely hope so, either that or we can guarantee it because we're planning to mass-flag him for violating community guidelines. He made this hashtag #killsml now you’re wondering what guidelines did he violate? Leostales’s comment said, Nudity or sexual content (Everyone) That includes no undies, whipping it out, and flirting, Violent or graphic content (Everyone) Self Harm, Child Abuse, And Suicide, Harmful or dangerous content (Everyone) Hateful content (Vlogs) Don’t watch chilly’s vlogs it’ll give you cancer and shit your pants for 5 days. Spam, misleading metadata, and scams (Chilly, because she put Jeffy in a thumbnail for no reason just to get views.) Threats (Against YouTube) Trikkiboy said Jeffy is an actor, the vlogs are on another channel, how are they hateful? And he agrees with him on Chilly. What threats has Logan made? Logan basically infered that YouTube is stupid and they don't know what they're doing even thought they're punishing him for violating the previous guidelines. Jeffy is an actor, he’s correct ladies and gentlemen, but does that make it okay for children to imitate him and inflict parents to boycott the site? And the vlogs being on another channel makes it worse, he is attempting to avoid a punishment that was validly given. It will be sooner or later before Chilly herself gets terminated along with every other channel they ever owned. There is a difference between threatening youtube and saying that they made a mistake. If parents don't want their children mimicking Jeffy's behavior they should pay more attention to what their kids watch. He's sending his fans after YouTube and they're spamming #fuckyoutube, #savesml, and so on. They are also threatening to sue and attack YouTube, which is not okay at all. Regardless of the parents parenting, they're still going to attack YouTube unless they do what they ask. They won't stand a chance against law suits with how many parents exist on the planet. Hateful content against YouTube as he’s stated in the first point. Parents can't sue youtube for showing offensive videos. Nor can fans sue youtube for blocking sml. Youtube is in their rights to support or block (even if I may disagree) sml. So any lawsuit would never make it to court. And it concluded by Methyl salicylate saying nigga shut up. Wow. Now we got the truth. If you think that’s bad In 72 hours it will banned from every country on earth and there’s a reason why it’s not what it seemed. On change.org a couple years back Fakhri Ijlal started this petition to The owner of the SuperMarioLogan channel and the writer of the SML series. Logan Thirtyacre to delete his channel, Let’s look at the comments. Antonio Wetzstein told us that sml is marketed towards children and uses foul language, features very adult content and dangerous behavior such as sticking pencils up Jeffy’s nose. It's very derogatory towards the handicapped portraying them as idiots that do nothing but masturbate. This is shameful and it should not be featured on youtube. Oh my god. What you’ve experienced is in exposing of the channel. In addition to that it’s racist, they support the gays, They LIE to everyone. They love CUSSING. They BRAINWASH kids. And MILKED up every character and killed them all. Itself is A Dying YouTube Channel and Community. Well, That vlog is out. I know that Logan made a point about him saying the deal will last before the end of July for youtube to give his ads back. To no surprise, he promised a bunch of things and never fulfilled them. Im not mad about the lying because at this point, almost anything he says could be a lie. Even if his ads were back on time, he would just find another loop hole to keep his cancer alive. He said he would find a way to improve himself, although not a bad idea, the way it will play out won’t be so great. To Be Honest, the main thing you hated in vlog wasn’t that he’s not letting jeffy go, but rather him made us old fans into a joke by portraying us as nothing but haters. He says he will try to make everyone happy, although it sounds nice, but it’s going to be a long process for him to please everyone. Logan even admits he doesn’t like jeffy and would rather make junior videos because he enjoys doing them. We actually give reasons why jeffy should be gone, and he just listen to the fantards and ignore the feedback because they’re pretty much the big chunk of Logan subscribers. All we want to do is prevent Logan from getting demonetized again. You just had enough of chilly clickbait videos for the views as I do, also if you didn’t know, deletes comments that makes them look bad. If you choose to stay even after that vlog, then by all means stay, I can respect your decision on staying in the community. If anything really important were to happen while I betted on the SuperMarioLogan movie not coming out, I have made a fatal mistake at it. But I gave up the sml gig in fact: Half of everyone is quitting the SuperMarioLogan franchise for... “the secrets” but if Logan finds out about anyone quitting... ‘Clears throat’ he will find us and will have no choice but to milk everyone’s mind, and by everyone I mean Everyone. In. The. Metaverse. But he’s not here. He’s outside of Florida so he won’t notice. At this point Logan will make the universe into SuperMarioLogan, we will just become the puppet and Logan will be the puppeteer. Take this picture for example. ￼ Goodman: JESUS. CHRIST. ALMIGHTY. What you’re seeing is this picture by hammstar on Imgur telling the truth about sml this is from last September what you see is a jar of money with the YouTube logo on it, Logan as a puppet and jeffy as the puppeteer, and do you see his diaper? Zoom in to that (zooming in) THAT SAYS FANS ON THERE! That explains why we’ve been talking about early And next to him is a bin of paper with honesty and integrity in it. So Logan promised to depart jeffy’s career but all he does is lie like “I listen to my fans” he made a post a month or 2 what kind of episodes he should make most of the comments were Shrek, Black Yoshi, Woody And Tony Vids, But all he cares about is Junior, Joseph, Cody and Jeffy as cashgrabs everyone he cares about as the lying shit he became. Logan sacrificed his control to his fanbase, so’s become a puppet to his avarice. What happened to you Logan? Okay, Let’s just take a moment to think about the milked franchises long past... we only found a few so far ￼ Ice Age ￼ Assassin’s Creed ￼ Frozen (Just a hint for what is to come) ￼ And Star Wars

Goodman: I think there will basically be an SML Apocalypse, where SML loses his popularity, some of his subscribers, most if not all of his ad revenue, and Logan will be consumed by his Dark Side. If SML dies, so will it’s Amino and all other SML communities. But except the fact... the cast and creators are refusing to let sleeping dogs lie. Here are some reasons why SuperMarioLogan must die. ￼ 1. Rejecting Zeke: Yes, we all are just sick of what Logan did to Zeke. Logan literally put Zeke's job at risk. Zeke was going to work with Logan, but Logan never responded, and Zeke could've lost his job. Zeke even said that he is never doing the risk again. I'm just sick of Logan and what he is doing. Zeke wanted to work with Logan, and Logan just rejected the request and threw it in the trash. 2. Not Listening to the Old Fans: We all know where this goes, Everyone thinks the old fans will leave at some point because of what Logan is doing. Hell, I might just be on the verge on leaving the sml persona if he doesn't improve by this year. All he is doing is uploading Junior And Jeffy videos. Are they gonna be a duo? You guys like the Junior videos, but the Jeffy videos are just getting annoying. The fans even wanted Mama Luigi, but now that Zeke got rejected, that sadly cannot happen. Starbit Catcher’s comment speaks for itself: ￼ Goodman: Boom. That job application would be a clown The old fans are clearly getting sick of the stuff that Logan is doing. If Logan doesn't get his shit together, which he most likely won't, then you will eventually leave, and his channel will die later on. Matter of fact, his whole franchise 3. The Fanbase: While there appears to be less Jeffy fanboys, there is definitely still some around. I see less fanboys than in last July or August, I can’t tell which month. But some of them are still attacking people for not liking Jeffy. The thing is, these people in the fanbase just don't know better. They just don't understand that we are allowed to have an open opinion about Jeffy. These people are clearly 8 to 10 year old kids who don't understand things like First Amendment Rights. They need to be stopped, but I just don't think that's gonna happen. 4. Logan Begging For Money: Logan has begged for money a lot of times now because he ran out of luck. He has made a Patreon, and he flat out didn't do the things for the patrons that donated money. Not to mention, he is also milking Jeffy and everyone by making midroll ads on his videos. He acts like he is getting poorer due to demonetization, yet that just seems to not be the case. In fact, I too think Logan made more money after demonetization hit than before demonetization hit. He just used demonetization as an excuse to get more money, and it's a shame that some of the mindless Jeffy fanboys still think he needs help with making money. Me and My sons Richard And Benjamin are rich as fuck but that doesn’t make us orange lantern for avarice. Boys if you’re watching this, you need to pack everything when I get home. Logan is gonna make us fugitives, it’s not joke 5. Not Releasing the SML Movie: Logan has made many false promises about the SML Movie. Not to mention, he hasn't even released it in a year. Everyone was expecting the SML Movie to be done way before now, yet it's still not done. I think he is just making another mediocre Jeffy video, and making mindless excuses about how it's not released yet. You honestly don't think the SML Movie will ever be released, especially considering that I doubt it's ever going to come out at all in 2019 or maybe it’s just a matter of time for Logan to get back on track. 6. Identity Thief: Yes Logan has used 436 and counting characters in 12 years. But he used his counterparts instead of the real ones. This is not gonna be pretty and very long.

Cut to bird island where every bird is watching

Goodman on tv: You, Angry Birds. Do you know what the future holds for you and your eggs?

The birds imagine their eggs cracked regaling the hatchlings and bird island on fire

Goodman: You Guys need to come out of bird island, Bring the whole flock! The Bad Piggies have gone international.

The birds gasps Goodman: Ketchum if you’re also hearing this, The Ash I know doesn’t have a Snobbish attitude along with being a Sore Loser as when Junior Technically Won over you like "Aw Come on dude not my Pikachu! It's like my only Pokemon!" That’s not true! You got a whole Pokémon team with you! You didn’t get first place in the alola league for nothing! So get your friends and help us stop Logan and the Evilites, Atso is working for Logan, Bad Piggies, If you’re listening, we’re coming for your ass! we’re coming! Me and the boys are packing too! Banzai Bill has reunited with the bowser’s koopa troop, Barack Obama. Get yourself and Michelle to safety. Baymax is not an enemy to us, he’s a hero with pure heart and Big Hero 6, Help us! Bea Skillet is working for Logan. Beary on the other hand is exiled. Benjamin is packing, Bernard is found dead this morning, Betsy is missing. Big Red, Get Your flock ready. Birdo is not transgender. Bitterman Carlito is retiring from being a servant and works for Logan. Black Yoshi, call of duty has been milked dry, Blake is not a rapper, toad only used him for his albums, The Blues are not depressed, Chief Blue is named Blue M&M Officer, Blue Yoshi didn’t die from being thrown by bowser, it’s fake. Boo is working for the koopa Troopa. Boss Carson is Dead. Boukisha, Get to safety. Bowser lied about being an antihero, he got the Koopa Troopa back in business. Bowser Junior is also working for Bowser. Brooklyn T. Guy, you must’ve joined Logan’s side, did you? Your Dad And Son must be so proud. Bubbles has escaped from Arkham. Bubbles needs to get her sisters out of Townsville and help out. Ash I forgot to mention you’ve got Bulbasaur. Bully Bill isn’t real he’s Bull-ET Bill. Bunghole has been resurrected. Butterfree got no respect from the SuperMarioLogan cast... except Mariposa Diaz. Candy And his Father. Let’s just jump to the point and show you what happened at the peppermint mocha.

Candy‘s Father: CAAAAAAAAAAAANDYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! COME WITH ME YOU LITTLE SHIT! THAT’S THE LAST TIME YOU’LL EVER TWERK! NOW TAKE THESE WHIPPINGS! Goodman: That’s all we could find. If the Cast still have honesty and integrity, they wouldn’t become a criminal organization. The Cat Piano might be broken by now. Catherine Catfish is a thot. Cecilia has become a Latin terrorist. Chad is Hal. Chadwick Is or real Chain Chomp is working for the koopa Troopa. To all Pokémon trainers, Get every Charizard you got! Charleyyy and friends is a major ripoff. Also get all the Charmanders you can get. Chaz Doesn’t have chef peepee’s blood nor Junior Junior. Cheep-Cheeps are legendary and rare fish. Chef Pee Pee, you are not a slave anymore. Your Father is a real father. Your Sister is a thot. Chef Poo Poo is not you, it was Logan’s abominable clones. Chica is still out there. Chief Teeth is also not a rapper like I said at the toad part. Keep Children away from Sml. Trust me. Chompy is back in the Koopa troopa. Chris the Cucumber is also a clone of Larry The Cucumber AKA Larryboy made by Logan. SuperMarioLogan is starting to make Clones Of Everyone we know And love they’re Clowns. Cody Nutkiss revealed his true self as Kamek As he killed his family. Cookie Monster is back on Sesame Street. The Corn Dog God is fake. Crack Bear died from so much crack. Craig the Devil is on Logan’s side. Crusty is bowser junior’s pet bread, unfortunately it’s just a figment Of imagination. Crybaby Guard is a crybaby no more, his true identity is Grarrl the neopet. Sasha Britknee Crystal is a thot. Both D-Moneys junior and senior are taking Logan’s side. Daisy broke free from the stupidity Logan needed her to be. Dark Matter in Shorts is actually be a Jawa. Debra is missing. Delilah is at Yoshi’s island with the other ones. Mark my words, SuperMarioLogan’s Demons are upon us. Dewey Donedidit is on the air and not what he seemed just take it from me. Logan enjoys Dewey’s performance, everyone hates him because of him conning Mario. My god man, Logan wants Mario’s suffering to maximize his franchise! Diddy Kong is missing. Doctors have been studying SuperMarioLogan forever and the results are in and they’re bad to the motherfucker! SuperMarioLogan is cursed by imagination and fantasy! If someone dies they come back! They speed things up for no reason Here’s the Last virgin vs. chad chart with SMG4 we found on know your meme ￼ Goodman: Get This, Logan didn’t give a flying fuck about his real fans. He turned Mario from the wisest man on earth to the blandest man on earth. Bought stupid shit like a Lamborghini. Logan milked successful Heroes, not caring about how overused it is. Constantly whines about YouTube Demonetizing their videos. Jeffy’s sister feebee died for fans give Empathy for him. Sml tries to be edgy for 3rd grade fanboys. The annoying jackasses get no punishment and are treated as gods, but the question is how can we punish them? Nobody Knows How. The videos are in the same format and location. Their puppetry Disgraces plush videos. Nothing changes. Logan Thinks This is Not the Real World, It’s Just A Joke. and if you think that’s bad, Take a look at echo creek in Dark Star’s barrier calling it “earth-ni” ￼ Goodman: Logan’s got a barrier of his own ￼ Goodman: It’s just the barrier, not that town, Moving on. Smg4 is killing it so far, they go on meetings to see his fans. Their Mario is memorable and funnier than ours, he brought an office for his computer. He’s got a diversity Of cast members. You and I can directly give him money through YouTube, I’d give him a gold brick. Smg4’s videos have some emotional scenes with bonding, but Sml’s bonding is common. High quality animated gmod/smg4 scenes that compliment old machinimas, with Sml they only got nicktendo. Videos are constantly the same locations and format, but changes once in a while. Managed by 2 brothers who love what they do. The videos get nominated for shorty awards. Imagine if Sml get awarded, they would get golden raspberries at the razzies. But SMG4 is on a roll, Every character is unique, with their own set of goals and fears. They go through climatic arcs and learn about something about themselves. Imagine if Sml can do arcs, but they decided to do movies and shorts more than their original series and If they ever do arcs it’ll be the opposite of smg4’s. Mario’s focused on all the videos because he’s the main character. Sml’s Mario is the main character too but it’s split with junior. Exquisite memes from all types of eras are their thing. If Sml did that it would be cringe this, Cringe that, there would be Fortnite dances, twerking, Teen Titans Go material, you name it. The annoying characters get beaten up and hated for various reasons and only edgy for the sake of jokes. Okay this is what Sml refuses to do their fans won’t let the annoying characters get beaten up because they’re gods but not today. Does Bad Things Guy has been resurrected by Logan to hunt down Mario And Luigi. Does Good Things Guy is Dead. The Dogs in heaven are gonna be pissed. Donald Rodriguez died from Logan’s gun as Logan said: “Sorry don, Job’s a Job” Logan has become a crime boss. Donkey Kong is also missing. Doofy the Dragon, a major suicidal ripoff of Barney and his Ex-Wife left him years ago, Dr. Fredrick Finkleshitz Yeah I got Your Name right this time got the results before we started shooting. Drawing Jeffy is getting worse by being multiplied. Revenant Drug dealers are everywhere by now. Easter Bunny Genie. Elmo is Logan’s slave. Emily is free from sml. Evil Croco is back with bowser. Fake Santa is on the loose. Feebee is planning vengeance for her death. Felipe is on Logan’s side. Freddy fazbear's pizzeria opened again with Freddy Fazbear becoming a yellow lantern after reconstruction Ghost Shrimpo Are on the loose. I, Goodman myself am rich as fuck but I’m not gonna be on Logan’s side to take Mario back and take his money for not paying the house payment because Mario’s been paying it on time remembering, Logan was just controlling me for the Torture porn to produce and I broke his chains vowed, never again to be a worthy Orange Lantern. Goofy is getting ready for Kombat with Donald And Sora. Goomba is getting his pals for war. The Green Bean Giant is all fake, I repeat he doesn’t exists at all. Hansel on the other hand joined Logan’s Side to keep calling Mario cheeseburger man, hella stupid. Dick out for Harambe. Harold Wilfred has been arrested for Mass Racism on... Let’s just say everyone who’s not American related. Hello Kitty Called the cops on him. We need Heroes. Hogan Paul is on the Jailbreak from the asylum. Every video that has the bunny Do has been banned, suck on that jeffy! Jackie Chu get your son Twu and join the fight. I once thought Jacques Pierre François was a masterpiece maker by making The Sneeze, The Sacrifice, The Hangman, The Suicide And The Fart now I realize he didn’t take Art Class so Fuck You we’re taking your money. Jagwa is a fraud rapper like all the others before him. We’re closing and securing Camp Crystal Lake for Jason Voorhees’ Arrival it worked When the FBI ambushed him I hope we can keep him in the ground this time. Jeff the Killer, If you’re listening your evil ends here. Jeffy, you are nothing but a sore loser who gets what he wants by throwing tantrums, ungrateful and gives demands to Mario and left in charge of the house, (scoffs) Like Hell! If You won’t tell the truth, The word famous fear gas will. Joseph, your friend won a hot dog contest so you can live an apartment and your in poverty what’s wrong with you? You’ve earned! 20 Grand why are you still poor? Judy Nutkiss is not fat she’s basically just fine. She’s been accused for name calling: Whales, Cows, Titans, Garfield, Giants, Stocking when she blows up!

Conclusion In conclusion, I think SuperMarioLogan is going to die soon, and that Logan will beg for money again when he gets less ad revenue. Logan will have to get a real job, and he will never be as successful as he once was ever again. As for Good Morning America, they were right about his demonization. He did it to himself he turned the greatest heroes in the universe into puppets for comedy. And he used family friendly thumbnails which attracts kids to his videos. At least put a warning in the description. He complains about being poor yet he give $1k to a random kid who beats his Mario maker level. This is why people stop watching your content after his dome blew up. By the time his channel went to shit when he beats his dead horse till the core.

In the episode Jeffy's Trap, it is practically confirmed that Jeffy is a stalker because of a certain scene in the episode. Let’s pull up a deleted scene now. Jeffy: Daddy, Where’s mommy’s panties? Mario: Because She is an adult Jeffy Jeffy: Hold Up. Who’s going to catch the poop? Mario: Catch the poop? What Are You talking about Jeffy? Jeffy: Sinple, if Mommy's not wearing panties, and if She shits right now. The shit’s going to fall straight to the floor Daddy Mario slaps Jeffy Goodman: WOW. Only a stalker would say what Jeffy said in that episode, I once thought that Mario did child abuse but it turns out Jeffy was criminal Nancy Francois’ son. Lastly Logan said that after the masterpiece of Mario torture "Locked Out" that he will do no more of them videos... And thus that's all we see here! He runs over Jeffy's leg by accident whilst he was being obnoxious and not wanting to attend school. So because he thinks Mario will bow down before him, Jeffy decides to order and demand all day long! First of all, the recycled storyline of "Bowser Junior Breaks His Leg!", however at least Junior got the karma he deserved for bossing around Chef Pee Pee. But here, Jeffy just gets a whole load of schoolwork. Which I think is not enough considering how selfish and greedy he was during the video. And second of all, Logan promised the fans that torture videos would be no more after "Locked Out" and the terrible quality of that video “Jeffy Breaks His Leg!”, so basically, Logan shit all over that promise to produce this video! So now I know that Logan is not a promise keeper! Also he puts exclamation points after every last word of the titles of his videos! Don’t trust these crackheads anymore and focus on something else. I mean I’m from sml but I’m retiring from it and I KNOW that I want to punch Logan in the nose and nuts. But Also there’s plenty of quality there’s SMG4, Glove and boots and House Of Mouse not to mention it’s coming back in 2 weeks. But what I really recommend from you is to watch Lordkraken3. This fuckhead is a plush / action figure-tuber who's also got a knack for art and voice-acting. He’s the creator of Robot Flain, P&S Plush, Plants vs. Zombies: The Series, and more. His videos are for an older audience (He’d rate them PG-13 / TV-14 for swearing, violent / sexual themes and off-beat humor), so keep little kids out of the room if you want to watch his videos. Also, I support equality for all, no matter what, so that in mind. Also, he uploads as slow as shit. He’s more active on other sites, so go check those out if you can't get enough of him. He’s also active on DeviantArt, Twitter And CCC he Joined May 30, 2011. Let’s pull up a virgin vs chad meme. ￼ Credit: MemeManOmega In Deviantart Goodman: Take notes Logan, you’re on thin ice now! You only care about money more than your fanbase! You blinded us with your stupidity and now we can see! You owe everyone the SuperMarioLogan movie for the fans. Or the government’s gonna send the men in black over there to repossess your content. You've got 72 hours starting when When we sign off. Listen to the YouTube system and give your fans what they want while you got the chance. ‘Cause you'll be digging for gold with finger splints after Tuesday. And to everyone else in Dabhdude’s Preview Of SML Eras - The Jeffy Era, Mehrio Time Commented: Storm Logan’s House, they Can’t Turn all of us into Jeffy Fans Plan: 1 month after people Raid Area 51 we will meet up in the gas station, and fill up our cars to prepare for the raid. The Terraria Fanboys Will Stock up on Buff potions and healing potions To infiltrate The Back. The Furries Will Distract Logan By Dancing outside his lawn The Rule 34 Artists Will Draw a Mural Of Sml porn on the wall, so their sins will be forgiven. We will make Logan tell us why the sml movie was always delaying We will grab Jeffy, Brooklyn T. Guy, Nancy And All Of Mario’s enemies and Free Sml From His Curse by Throwing it Into the Hawaii Volcano. In Dabhdube’s Halloween Video, Sora Song told Dab: It’s obvious Logan's turning more mentally ill and he seriously needs help now. What do you suggest we do about his behavior lately and his mental health issues? Hopefully we can steal all his subscribers and give them to SuperMarioRichie soon. There's someone who actually still knows how to make good videos and he's only 17. Chilly is just making Logan's life worse and they should both be locked up at this point. A dark future awaits Logan if he doesn't change for the better and he will suffer more. I was told he passed away, if only 'cause he'd really deserve it after what he's become. I'm hoping to make my own plush series someday and bring back all his lost real fans. Bruno Cruz replied: How is Logan's mental health suffering? Sora replies: Logan's mental health keeps dropping with every passing month and he should seriously take a couple months off to clear his head. More on the story as I- (Holds his earpiece) We just got reports that something from the depths of hell has unleashed inter dimensional kingpin: “Darkness” formed a regime called “The Evilites”. Mario: What the fu-? Goodman: They’re on the loose and planning to take over not just the world but the metaverse in 80 days. The Evilites has 19,980 Mercenaries, Bounty Hunters, Psychopaths, Killer Clowns, Slashers, Sorcerers, Yanderes, Yautja, Witches, Marra? What kind of organization has all this? But to be back on topic: They could kill us all if we don’t submit or rejoice to their balance. Here’s Just the facts host and former daily bugle owner J Jonah Jameson with a statement J Jonah: All right everyone quiet down as you all know that I created my radio podcast Just the facts with me- J Jonah Jameson. Who tells you about many things, such as any event taking place in New York City, so there’s a very large organization that’s the amount of the number 1998 times 10 it’s gonna take a chance to get them all stopped it’s a very, VERY, VEEEEEERY fucking large army. The size of God-Damn-Zilla, And if we all don’t listen to him we’ll all die everyone in society will die and this situation must be controlled before it’s too late but there’s a solution we’re gonna send the best of the best Heroes EXCLUDING THE SPIDER-ARMY. Not to mention my book ‘Spider-Man: Threat Of Menace’. One of four things will happen; 1. The heroes will break up the Evilites casting them out which will burn up in the atmosphere. 2. The heroes will break the Evilites’ behalf leaving the other taking absolutely everything from us. 3. The heroes does absolutely nothing to do about it. Or 4. The heroes just fucking miss out. Press: Mr Jameson! What do we do before they come? J Jonah Jameson: If they don’t make it in the very last second so you can start writing and looting now because if there’s no Hope we’ll die apparently if you find hope just report us so goodbye. Goodman Goodman: We’re now getting word that failed actor Darla Dimple has escaped Arkham last night Let’s cut to their security footage now (Cut to cell of Darla making a hit list) Oh my god. What you’re watching is security footage of Darla trying to escape Arkham to kill every animal in the whole animal kingdom she can smell the blood this is the lil’ ark angel who turned out to be a lil’ ark demon. It now appears that mewman princess star butterfly will pay a visit Dark Star narwhal blasts a hole in the wall and grabs her Goodman: Oh my god! If Marco is seeing this, turn him away Now as she’s violating darla di- What going on out there? Cuts to the Evilites stacked as a tower Benjamin: Hee-haw! Hee-haw! Coachman: Come on, you blokes, keep 'em moving! (he and his minions are bringing some prisoners out of their cells) Lively there now. We haven't got all night! Goodman: (confused) Where'd all the donkeys come from? Napoleon: Come on, come on. Let's have another. (one of the members of animal kingdom brings the penguin out toward him) And what's your name? Penguin: Oswald Cobblepot Hades: Okay, you'll do! Out you go! Janna: You boys'll bring nice air support! (cackles evilly) Bowser: All right. Next! And you are? Anarky: I am Anarky - voice of the people Bowser: Hmmm, so you’re the voice of the people. Anarky: That’s right. Gotham is a prison and the police its wardens. To protect and serve, their motto goes. And they do. Protect and serve THEMSELVES. We live in fear of their gaze. Their billy clubs and guns. When they walk down the streets, we avert our eyes. We tremble when they speak. Who are these people, really? What drives them? Is it justice? Honor? No. They want power and the badge that gives it to them. And so those we look to for protection - instead inspire fear. Bowser: Take him out! He knows everything about the Batman! Goodman: Star has done it. She cleaved both Mewni and earth! And she gave us this?! Let’s go to the press conferences Lisa: I have tips for the Evilites’ arrival. Get Everyone out of their homes EVERYONE! Every kids next door outlaw, Every Atlantean, Your Kids, Wife, Pets, Uncles And Goldfish Because the Evilites’ coming And They’re coming soon! Fight back now before it’s too late! And get WAAAAAAAAAAAAAY the fuck out of here! Forky: Always Be alert you’ll never know if these Evilites are here or There, you’ll find them anywhere! (Runs off And comes back) And watch my Q&A show in November. (Runs off And comes back) I don’t have much to say. Brittany Wong: Don't worry, The cheerleaders and I at echo creek Academy have great distractions for the re. Just take it from me! Twerking. Uh-huh. Goodman: This is extinction we’re facing! Speaking of which does twerking happen lately anymore? Brittany: Goodman: Back to the sml banning. As for the plane crash the true Person to blame is jeffy he is the one who damaged the drone although we know Mario purchased the drone and registered it to his name. He thought it was okay to send to space but it wasn’t. Now the reason why sml is bad. There you have it so hide your kids and wives, Because the Evilites will find you where ever you are because we’re next... God help us all. Mario And Luigi If you’re watching this... We need you back! Now Get your Asses Back to the out to the outside world! Later Goodman: Brooklyn, we got them. The Mario Bros are coming back. Brooklyn Guy: You're having them come back to Earth? Goodman: Do you know what's happening here? Brooklyn: No, I don’t know or give a shit. Their potentials died long ago. Goodman: Listen, just get to the Mushroom Kingdom. The Princesses will break down their plan at 4:30PM. Brooklyn Guy: Have you lost your mind? This IS the Mushroom Kingdom and You're having them come back to fight these things? Goodman: There's nothing we can do but Fight Or Die. We need them now. Brooklyn Guy, there’s no time to make videos. Brooklyn Guy: Of course There is a time for it, it’s overtime! Tell them it’s just a prank! You have to listen to me. Tell them it’s just a prank! I repeat, Tell them it’s just a prank! You hear me? Tell them it’s just a prank! The Next Day The Phone Rings and Mario answers it with a side-shot with his phone case isn’t from the sml merch but has a roblox case saying ‘Go Commit Die’ Jackie Lynn Thomas (V.O.): Mario? Mario: Yeah. Jackie (V.O.): This is Jackie Lynn Thomas Of Echo Creek, The world’s in danger right now, we need you And Luigi’s help. Mario: With what? Jackie (V.O.): There’s this Devil named Darkness going around killing everyone, I heard they’re called ‘Evilites’ Mario: I haven’t heard that Bastard in years Jackie (V.O.): Is there anyway you could stop them? Mario: You got the wrong guy, It’s Mario Francois Now. I’ve retired for a year and a half thanks to jeffy shredding the ticket back to Adventure. Jackie: Well if you want to come back that you’d be ready to come out of retirement, just say that magic words. Mario: I’m all washed up! I just don’t have the mojo in me anymore Jackie (V.O.): Don’t say that! Mario: I won the lottery but when I got my keys, they’re gone. I tried to white lie about coupons of Froot Loops But Brooklyn Guy didn’t buy it! So after I found the bits Goodman declared he won the lottery but I won! I was too late to redeem my freedom! Being a family man is all that matters now. I Get House Payments, I have a PSTD Of turtles, I went from Badass to Down To Earth, My criminal record is Genocide, Child abuse, Murder, Armed robbery, Burglary, Assisted murder Child abandonment, Assault, Illegal hunting and Kidnapping And I’m stuck in a house of jackasses! My life is here, not the outside world. And Very good at Product Placement And Advertising, even for the merchandising Jackie (V.O.): What? None of the above is true Mario: It Is! I’m ashamed of it too! I can’t even get my old allies back! Tony, Luigi, Woody, Shrek, Lazlo, The Angry Birds, Popeye, Q*bert, Powderpuffs, Spongebob... They’re gone by now. But... My enemies... from the very beginning, it was the villains who were afraid of me and Luigi. The Mario Bros., that's what they called us. My reign of justice was legendary. Dozens of evils would fall by my power. The villains feared me once, and their fear gave me the power to foil their schemes, and that's when the fun REALLY began. Until they figured out a way to forget about me. To erase me completely. Being a family man wasn't a problem, but being forgotten, now that's a BITCH. I can't come back if nobody remembers me. I can't come back if no evil’s afraid! Jackie (V.O.): Exactly! We gotta go- Mario: BUT NO! Everyone in the Mohegan Circle keeps me here until they milk the living daylights out of me so I can be a full on coward! Jackie (V.O.): Your bravery wouldn’t make you a coward. Mario: But it stopped! Jackie (V.O.): Come on! we need your help! Mario: Maybe you haven’t payed attention you’ve got the wrong guy and I’m retired! That’s the end of it! Jackie (V.O.): I know you’re retired but the old Mario And Luigi wouldn’t give up, whatever it takes. Not letting baddies get away, No matter how big the titan is, no matter how dangerous the slasher is, you would never give up. So I’ll just send you photos of the villains everyone needs Dead... But don't you ever miss your old job? ‘Whimpers’ Mario: [fondly] Miss allying regimented forces back when ‘Friendship Is Power?’ As we encircle the Realms with our righteous iron fists of awesome might? [he gradually raises his voice] Crushing down all the pathetic evils who dared stand before us? Gorging our bellies on their cries for mercy, until at last WE ALONE STAND AGAINST THE GLORIOUS DARK LORD OF ALL THE KNOWN UNIVERSE! The call stops An email notification appears in his inbox and Mario clicks the link and shows as list of all of the evils the cosmos has ever known Mario: Motherfuckers. 9 Days Later Cut to Super Mario Got Milk Mario: From that moment on... we were never going back to the old ways {The camera pans to Rafiki who is in his tree house. After wiping away a tear, he reaches up and rubs his hand across the plumbers painting, smearing it.} Mario: Okay you’re wondering why we’re in the SML universe The creators drained out all of our memories so that we forget I ever had recent activity. And it gets disgraceful every Video, they spawn idiots and crybabies to control us even more. And if you thinking that Be-Beep coming from the camera aiming at us THAT’S THE CYBER MICROWAVE CRANIAL GULLIFIYER SLOWLY TURNING OUR BRAINS INTO PINT SIZED ONES! AND THE STUFF THEY DO DURING THE RECORDING?! IT’S BRAIN DRAINS! THEY’RE MAKING US OBEY BRAIN DRAINS! BECAUSE IF YOU GO ANYWHERE OUTSIDE OF FLORIDA, THEN THEY CAN INJECT THE SUB-MOLAR TRACKING SPORES IN YOUR SKULL WHICH THEY USE! IT’S SO THEY WOULD KNOW IF YOU ESCAPED! IT’S A LIE! EVERYTHING YOU KNOW ABOUT SML IS A LIE! THEY’RE CRUSHING YOU BENEATH THEIR STUPIDITY AND YOU CAN’T EVEN SEE IT! BUT... I had to search the 4 corners of the earth, but I found a mother-load, a mother-load who'll make ‘em remember. Evil may get the blood, but Good Will get the glory, and that Nostalgia is my ticket home. Back To Reality Shrek: I agree with him Chef Peepee falls to the floor Black Yoshi: You’re saying that 7 Grand Dad And Agent Xero Are Your Slave Owners? Mario: Precisely! Black Yoshi laughs: I am so sorry but 7 Grand Dad And Agent Xero? The big guys. They raised you and Luigi! Mr. Fred Flintstone And Mrs. Mystique, read me a book, will ya'.. ma and pa? 7 Grand Dad! (Mimics 7 Grand Dad) Once upon a time— Mario: It's the truth! Black Yoshi stops laughing Black Yoshi: It wasn’t a joke right? Mario: Exactly Joseph: {Awed, either genuinely or mockingly} Really? Jeffy: You mean you’re from a bunch of royal dead guys and killers? Everyone breaks out laughing Junior: Who told you something like that? What jackass made that kind of bullshit up? Mario: It’s no joke! Jeffy: Like I give a fuck about your topic! Anyway I’m going to bed. The Last day of school’s Tomorrow so I gotta sleep my shit off! Mario: YOU KNOW WHAT? I’M FUCKING TIRED OF BEING PUSHED ALL AROUND! FU-! I’VE BEEN HERE FOR LIKE 334 EPISODES NOW! MAN! I’M FUCKING TIRED OF THIS BULLSHIT! YOU KNOW WHAT? FUCK THIS- AFTER THE NEXT EPISODE IF I DON’T GET MY LIFE RIGHT I’M- I’M RETIRING FULLY. I AM RETIRING! FUCK THIS SHIT!! I DON’T CARE MAN! YEAH! SOME OTHER DUDE CAN DO THE JOB! Fuck This. Later Goodman: Alright welcome to tonight’s 350 billion dollar lottery drawing so get your tickets ready! Mario: Oh man I hope I win win! I hope I win this time! Goodman: Alright tonight’s winning numbers are 6 Mario: Okay 6 Goodman: 19 Mario: 19 Goodman: 24 Mario: 24! Goodman: 48 Mario: 48!! Goodman: 52 I’m assure that some of you are shitting your pants right now Mario: 52!!! Goodman: The final number... THE FINAL NUMBER! The final number number is 11! Whoever are the winners go for you mkaaaay Mario: (Gasps) I’m free! For real this time! Now to get My car keys so I don’t have to see my channel ever again! When Mario was getting his car keys, he realized he didn’t see His lottery ticket grabs the keys and ticket sneakily Mario: Oh my god... THE CALLER WAS RIGHT! They’re begging me to come back and I’m Ready! But I’ll have to wait until tomorrow cause I’m getting sleepy Meanwhile We zoom out of Mohegan Circle and revealing that There’s a barrier around Florida, so sml can be safe from ‘copyright’. And Jesus And Mewtwo Are seen Jesus: You...are late. Mewtwo: A thousand apologies, O mighty one. Jesus: You have it, then? Mewtwo: I had to face off a few security guards but I got it. (Pulls out half of the medallion. Jesus reaches out for it, but Mewtwo yanks it back.) Ah, ah, ahhh! The treasure! (Mewtwo looks at His hand and it’s in Jesus’s grasp with the medallion.) Jesus: Trust me, My Pokémon friend. You'll get what's coming to you. (Jesus pulls out the second half of the medallion. He connects them, and the insect medallion begins to glow. Finally, it flies out of Jesus’s hand, scaring the horse, and is off towards the hills.) Jesus: Quickly, follow the trail! (All ride off, following the glowing speck of light, until it reaches a large firewall as it stops.) Jesus: At last, after all my years of searching, the firewall! Now, remember! Break down the dome. Get everyone out of there, but the heroes in there are mine! (Mewtwo starts to approach the firewall, which forms the entrance to the firewall.) Firewall: Hello. Welcome to the firewall. How may I help you? Mewtwo: I Am Mewtwo and I’ve come to bargain Firewall: Know this. Only one may enter here. One whose worth lies far within. The Rock in The Meteorite. (Mewtwo turns to Jesus with a questioning look.) Jesus: What are you waiting for? Go on! Mewtwo: Greatest Heroes! Now is the time. Awaken Thy Masters! The Barrier breaks into pieces like snow The next morning Mario: They've been laughin' since I can't remember, But they're not gonna laugh anymore No more Teabagger of Society No more "One of the Fags" Like before...! Jackie Chu: No more making algebra tests 'til September! No more lookin' at dumbshits like him! Bully Bill: No more havin' chances to cheat! Joseph: No more eating mystery meat! Richard: No more gym! Atso: No more gym! Cody: No more gym! Junior: NO MORE GYM! Lisa: Gonna move to the mall! Richard: Gonna live at the pool! Mario: Gonna talk to Masane And not feel like a fool! Chorus: 'Cause... After today, I'm gonna be cruising! Mario: After today, Shall be mine! Chorus: After today, my brains'll be snoozing! Mario: If I don't faint, I'll be fine! Mitsu: I've got forty more minutes Momo: of Home Economics... Zeke: Then down with the textbooks, Gene: And up with the comics! Mario: Just think of all the time I've been losin', Finding the right thing to say! Mario/Chorus: But things'll be goin' my way Chorus: After today! Mario: She looked right through me And who could blame her? I need a new me, Plus some positive proof That I was never a goof! And... Mario/Chorus: After today, I'm gonna be cruisin' No more pep rallies to cut, bleh! After today, my brains'll be snoozin'! Bus Driver: I'm gonna sit and nut Mario: I've got less than an hour And when this day has ended, I'll either be righteous... Jackie Chu: Or you'll be suspended! Mario/Chorus: Just think of all the time I've been losin' Waiting until I could say... Gonna be on my own Kiss the parents good-bye! Gonna party from now Til the end of July! Things'll be goin' my way, After today!!! Mario: I wish that this was the day after today Jeffy arrives at school and everyone is outside of the classroom and turns the knob but it’s locked Jeffy: Why’s Everyone outside? Richard: Because there’s new students here and it’s gonna smell even poorer then last time I swear to god Jeffy: I’m sorry? Richard: The teacher told us yesterday at the last second Jeffy: I thought you told me that Jackie Chu (through the speaker): Hello class you’re wondering why you’re outside the classroom. There are new students here today. I got something to tell you. Junior: What? Jackie Chu: I’m the principal Now because Steinbeck died in an assassination We go into the school to see on the chalkboard the last day of school Cody: Can’t believe that this is the last day of school Joseph: I know dude this was basically my home Junior: Yeah I know Cody: Wait you’re sad because you hate school because it’s shit Jackie Chu: Alright class today is the last day of school so I don’t have to see your stupid asses for 2 months as you all know this is possibly my final day with you because I’ll tell you why at the end we have new and returning from the last two schools students their names: Paul Tanner Emily D-Money Paulina Pinkeye Audrey Dot Lotta Erma Lisa Marylin Sasha Britknee Crystal Sprinkle Junior Junior Chaz Kanna Pixie Goblin Candy Katy Samantha Bow A- HOH! THAT RITTLE SON OF A BITCH! Jackie Twu: HERRO FARRA! Jackie Chu slams twu’s desk even harder Jackie Chu: TWU!! I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO BE IN COLLEGE! BUT NO YOU HAD TO COME HERE! Jackie Twu: Oh. But the university’s jocks banished me papa. Jackie Chu: Don’t disappoint me cause you got kicked out now write your name on your name tag Jackie Twu: Okay Ferra Jackie Chu: So tell your neighbor about yourself and while you’re doing that I’m gonna be googling archive of samurai jack cause I’m Asian of course Richard: Of Course. Richard reaches to his pocket and puts on clip on his nostrils Hilda: Hello Everyone, I'm Hilda. Jackie Chu: I forgot to mention Hilda. Ah sheet! It’s a girl! Why your parents no leave you in park? That’s what we don’t in China. Anyways we don’t have any more desks because everyone sat in a flash. So you’re gonna have to sit next to Joseph. Jeffy: Hey, My name is Jeffy, see? It says it on my shirt, Jeffy. Erma turns to jeffy with her head literally backwards with a crick of the neck causing Jeffy to jump out of his seat Jeffy: HOLY SHIT! Hilda: Hello Koopa, I'm Hilda. Joseph: Actually My Name Is... ‘Snickering’ Ate Off Hitler Hmhahahhahahe! Jackie Chu: Dumb! X7 I thought I told you that isn’t funny! Joseph: FUCK YOU TEACHER! Jackie Chu: DUUUUUUUUUUMB! GET YOUR STUPID ASS TO DETENTION! Hilda Raises An Eyebrow Hilda: Fuck? (Hilda says it very adorably) Dot: Salutations Shy Guy I’m Dot. Tanner: (In His Head) “Oh Shit, Here We Go Again.” Dude, you’re a nerd! Dot: Why? Tanner: Because you’re four eyes! That’s a medical disorder four eyes! Hell you remind me of Cody Dot: I don’t wear glasses. Cody: Tanner You son of a bitch you better be picking on me again! Cause We’re not Doing this again! Dot: Heard kamek? Pick someone else Tanner: Long Time no see no arms? Paul: FUCK YOU NO EYES! Atso: HAHAHAAAAHAAAHAAHA! Lisa: Your size revivals snorlax Atso: Thanks, haahahahahaha! Lisa: I’m Lisa. You are? Atso: My name's Atso, it's short for Fatso because I'm fat! HUHHUHHUH! Lisa: Were you considered thicc? Atso: That's what my friends tell me! Felipe: PATRICK?! Patrick: FELIPE?! Holy Hell! I haven’t seen you since first grade! This is crazy AF! Felipe: I’ve been in the Fortnite loco lately and I still haven’t got fully through! Jeffy: I see you’re a man a culture as well Kanna: Do you take your ken doll everywhere you go? Cody: ‘Sighs’ If you must know He’s my boyfriend Sprinkle: Don’t listen to him because he’s a homo and fucks dolls Kanna: Hentai! Cody: Did you know that snitches get stitches in here? Jospeh: (Gasps) Dude! Did you hear that!? Kanna knows me! Lotta: And who are you supposed to be? D-Money: D-Money Lotta: What? D-Money: My name is Demitrius but I go by D-Money Lotta: Is Your Last Name Money? D-Money: No it’s not. So get in line, there’s too many waifus. Lotta: BITCH PLEASE! WE HAVEN’T GOT TO KNOW EACH OTHER! Junior Junior: Papy Chaz: HEE! Junior And Cody: YEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA- Jackie Chu: Junior, Cody! Shut the hell up! Jeffy: To hell with this school and him! Bully Bill: Yeah I hate you dipshit Jeffy: Don’t you start today… Joseph: I bet him 1000 dollars that he won’t beat you up for a day Richard: Seem Reasonable Jeffy: I’ll be the judge of that Patrick: Yeah I bet that’ll get even crazy like last year! Marylin: Who seeing Panty And Stocking’s choreography tonight? Pauline: Yep Richard: You Do NOT want to know why I nutted to it. Audrey: These Anarchies Are QUEENS! Jackie Chu: Yeah Yeah Panty And Stocking make your dick happy because of their Curves. We go back when Jackie Chu enter the classroom in Summer School Jackie Chu (Past): Hello Class my name is Jackie Chu Junior: Yeah memories Cody: Yep remember the show and tell? Cody shows his meds Joseph: All I can remember is your medical disorders Cody: But I’m done with all that shit! Junior: I remember the last day of summer school with me passing by bitch slapping Steinbeck’s scowl off, come to think of it he deserves it Toad: Yeah fuck him Felipe: He was loco as sheet Junior: I also remember my vacation Cody: Yeah I remember ken! Joseph: For the last time He just a fucking doll dude! Cody: JESUS CHRIST JOSEPH! You literally saw him living! Do you not pay attention to him or is he just chilling? Joseph: Shut Up. Just Shut. Up Tanner: Nerd Jackie Chu: Yeah I remember reappearing a few days in first grade Junior: Before that we had a old man and a pedophile Cody: And he raped me. Now I realized It was rocking Audrey: CLOWN! Jeffy: Shut Up Bill! Damn! Toad: Agreed Jackie Chu: Yeah and I remember your projects what you wanna grow up Patrick: Yeah That was crazy! Junior: Yeah and we burned down the school! ….sadly Jackie Chu: Than second grade with you two assholes! Bully Bill: Thank You Douchebag! Jeffy: Oh, Wow! I don’t know who could that be? Bully Bill: Hell is freezing over right now Jackie Chu: And That was weird and Than third grade with two science fairs the second since I was killed and the second which had Junior nearly Kill us all! Junior: At Least we know which is more flammable between Kerosene, Gasoline, And Nitroglycerin Junior: I wish...that Cody's mom was a real pig! Joseph: OH, SAVAGE! Cody: WHAT?! JUNIOR WHY DO YOU ALWAYS, ALLWAYS FUCKING MAKE FUN OF MY MOM??§!!!?!!! Junior: She's a pig and you know it, Cody! But I don't think she looks the part, so I wish that she was a SCIENTIFICALLY ACCURATE pig! Joseph: "PRESS THE BUTTON, DUDE!" Cody: "NOOO!!!" (Meanwhile) Judy: "Hmm...I wonder what toothpaste to use for brushing my teeth tonight. There's Colgate...no, they have a doctor rabbit as the mascot, screw that...Crest? I think I'll use that." *gets pig ears and a pig nose* "Wait...why does my nose feel so funny?" *touches nose* "A-and why do I have two pairs of ears?! Wait..." *looks in mirror* "Oh my God!!" (Back at the couch) Junior: "Cody, look! Your mom's now LITERALLY a pig!!" Joseph: "Yes, dude!" Cody: "Junior, I hate you. I hate you so much, I want to slap you right in the face...you're such a motherfu--" The Bell Rings Junior: Ready when you are, pop.
 * Junior presses a button on the Wishing Machine and grants the wish*
 * Junior & Joseph are laughing*

Mario: Fellas, I'm afraid I'm gonna have to ask you to leave the school.

Cody: Who the hell are you?

Mario: Name's Mario.

[cocks rifle]

Mario: Housewares.

Radio: Orangutan Pussy Orangutan Pussy Jeffy: What Is This? Mario: Justin Bieber’s Single? Jeffy: Right. (He grabs the boombox And Runs off.) Mario: (Facepalms) WTF?! Jeffy: YEET! (The scene shows Jeffy throwing the boombox in the lake, the same fate as the TV.) Mario: (mad) JEFFY, WHY DID YOU THROW THE BOOMBOX IN THE LAKE!!! Jeffy: Oh, it's called a Spongeboombox, daddy. You see the sponges can listen to the boombox. Mario: I DON'T WANNA HEAR YOUR STUPID PUNS, JEFFY! GET YOUR ASS IN THE COUCH! YOU'RE GROUNDED!!! Jeffy: Gladly. The Living Room (The scene cuts to Mario yells at Jeffy in the couch.) (Work in progress for SML fans and Jeffy haters.) Jeffy: WHAT THE HELL DADDY? Mario: JEFFY, HOW DARE YOU TALK TO YO‘ DADDY THAT WAY! Jeffy: (growls) SUCK MY ANUS! (Mario smacks Jeffy in the face.) Mario: GO! NOW!! Jeffy: I will! Fuck! (Jeffy walks out of the living room.) Jeffy: (rage) DADDY! HOW DARE YOU REPLACED ME WITH THAT BABY WITH A MUSTACHE! Mario: His name is Benjamin and he's a way better son than you! Jeffy: You could’ve me his name! I LITERALLY HAVE TO GO MEDITATE BEFORE I RIP OFF MY NUTS AND USE THEM FOR STRESS BALLS! (Exhales Stressfully) DAMMIT! Mario: (to himself) I knew I should've told the doctor to keep the hypnotism permanent. Jeffy's Room Jeffy: Can't believe it. Daddy grounded me, TWICE! He grounded me for throwing the TV in the lake, then again me for throwing the boombox in the lake! THAT'S BULLSHIT!! God! But wait! (Eyes move sideways) I know just the way to get revenge! THAT’S IT (Jeffy angrily sits in his bed. Bowser Junior knocks on his window.) Jeffy: Who could that be? (Jeffy sees Bowser Junior at the window.) Jeffy: Junior? Junior: Oh, hey, Jeffy! What's wrong? Jeffy: Well, my daddy double grounded me for throwing the boombox in the lake and I find it bullshit! Junior: I'm really sorry to hear that, Jeffy. Tell ya what, I know just the way to get revenge on your dad! If you like, I can tell you about it! Jeffy: Tell me. The Roof Mario: JEFFY!!!! (Jeffy looks up at Mario on the roof.) Mario: Bring that ladder back to me right now! (Jeffy angrily threw the ladder.) Jeffy: No thank you! Mario: I AM REALLY MAD AT YOU, JEFFY!! You are going to stay in your room, and you are going to think about what you done right now! Jeffy: Never! You’re not the boss of me! Mario: Yes I am, Jeffy. I am SO the boss of you! Jeffy: Bitch! Mario: It may be a free country, but as long as you’re living under MY roof, you live by MY rules! Jeffy: (Mockingly) It may be a free country, but as long as you’re living under MY roof, you live by MY rules! HA! You ain’t gonna do shit! Fuck you, daddy! Mario: Don’t you dare talk back to me like that, Jeffy! You will do whatever i say, whenever I say! (Jeffy doesn't care, then he walks inside.) Mario: What are you doing? I AM TALKING TO YOU, JEFFY!! Jeffy: What Does it look like I’m doing? Grabbing your hat (Jeffy walks outside and has Mario’s hat, then he’s about to rip it apart) Mario: Do not rip apart the hat! Jeffy, I swear! IF YOU RIP APART I’M GONNA KILL YOU!! DO YOU HEAR ME!? Jeffy: I heard you. Now Say goodbye to your hat, daddy! Mario: JEFFY!! JEFFY!! (Mario falls out of the roof and got hurt.) Jeffy: How do you like that, daddy? That'll teach you not to mess with me. Dirty Cuck! Mario: I’m sorry that teaches me? Jeffy: Why yes I mean look at you get to the gym you’re letting yourself go you pear shaped cunt! Unfortunately you’re never gonna get the pussy Mario: GET YOUR ASS BACK ON THE COUCH, YOU BRAT!! Jeffy: Certainly The Living Room Again (The scene cuts to the living room.) Jeffy: Okay! Daddy, This Is Getting Outta Hand! Mario: I AM NOT HIGH!! WHY DO YOU ALWAYS SAY THAT I'M HIGH! I'M NOT ON DRUGS!! Mario Hides His Fortnite Data In his Drawer Jeffy: Yo daddy! You seen my fortnite data? (Mario hides the Fortnite game in his secret stash.) Mario: Ha! ha! Now you'll never be allowed to play Fornite again! Jeffy: You Fool! I got the app for it! And my data’s on- (Mario deletes the app. Jeffy gasps.) Jeffy: SON OF A BITCH!!!!!! Mario: I DID THAT BECAUSE YOU RIP MY HAT APART! Now you're grounded! NOW GO TO YOUR ROOM RIGHT NOW, YOUNG MAN! (Jeffy runs away from Mario while screaming in disgust.) Jeffy: ALRIGHT! Damn! Mario: DAMN IT, JEFFY! IF YOU DON'T WANNA GO TO YOUR ROOM, THEN I'LL LOCK YOU UP IN THE CLOSET! Jeffy's Biggest Punishment Ever Jeffy: (frightened) Hell No! Daddy! I AIN’T DO NOTHIN’!! Mario: YOU GET BACK HERE! YOU CAN'T RUN AWAY FROM ME FOREVER!!! -- Jeffy: The Closet. Like That’s Ever Gonna Scare Me Shitless Mario: FOR YOUR CONCERN, YOU’VE BEEN RUINING MY ENTIRE LIFE LONG ENOUGH!! Jeffy: (angrily) DADDY!! WHY DO I HAVE TO STAY IN MY ROOM!!? Mario: BECAUSE YOU RIP APART MY HAT MAN!!! Jeffy: LOOK DADDY, THIS IS GAY AF! Mario: JEFFY!! DON'T YOU GIVE ME AN ATTITUDE! Jeffy: I Bet you like to stick your finger up in your anus! Uh! Mario: JEFFY! BE APPROPRIATE! Jeffy: (rolls his eyes) Oh my god I do not want to hear your shit TODAY. Mario: YOU BETTER NOT ROLL YOUR EYES AT ME! Jeffy: Suck My ass! Mario: DON'T TALK SHIT TO ME! (Mario walks out.) Jeffy: At least I smacked hoes. Mario: You also don't hit women either! Jeffy: Well then why are we standing here screaming at each other?! Mario: Because you started it! Jeffy: Daddy! Is There A Lightbulb In Here? I Got An Erection while we were playing Hide And Seek! Mario: An Erection. That means you’re gay Jeffy: Noooo I was thinking about gi-da-raffes fucking bunnies. Now I Have To Beat My Meat! Mario: So you’re a furry? Jeffy: I don’t think I heard of these ‘Furries’ but I doubt that Mario: I don’t care! You are gonna stay in your room closet until tomorrow morning! And I swear if see you leaving your room closet even once, I will cast you out!! YOU GOT THAT!? Jeffy: (Cracked Voice) Yes (Clears Throat) Yes, daddy. Mario: Good! Jeffy: Mommy‘ll come here any sec now. Mario: No one's gonna save you, Jeffy! Jeffy: I take that back (The scene cuts to the living room again, Mario sits on the couch.) Mario: Pph! So what if I’m being too hard on Jeffy. He deserved it after all the swearing rampages, the screaming and the horrible things he did like throwing the TV and the boombox at the lake. (Mario is feeling calm now.) Mario: Jeffy will never have to do anything bad if he’s locked in his room closet. Now to relax and watch some TV. Jeffy: (off-screen) HEY!!! HEY DADDY!!! Real quick! If there’s a flashlight in here, I’ll check to see if there’s any lotion and tissues in here and I prefer mine lavender Mario: (to himself) Just ignore him. Jeffy: I know you hear me! The lightbulb isn’t working! Wait. I think there’s some tissues in here- Oooh! I found the light switch! Mario: Just ignore him! Jeffy: Here we go. Brittany Wong. On my recommendations? Let’s take a look (Mario Gets off the couch.) Mario: That’s It. Jeffy: Rub (20x) (Mario walks into Jeffy’s room) Mario: I’ll teach him how to Nut. Jeffy: AAAAAAAAAHHHH! That was even better than last time! Mario: Oh Jeffyyyyyyy! (Mario knocks on the closet door) Mario: I'm respecting your privacy by knocking, but asserting my authority as big daddy by coming in anyway. (Mario knocks down the door with a battering ram) Jeffy: Hey daddy! You gotta see this- Mario: Stop! I... HAVE HAD ENOUGH TO HEAR FROM YOUR SCREAMING!! If you’re not gonna learn to shut your face, then i’m gonna have to make you learn! (Mario holds duct tape on his hand.) Jeffy: Come on, daddy. I’ve learned my lesson. But this won’t involve ripping my lips off will it? Mario: I thought of something worse! The Punishment (Mario is forcing Jeffy to write "I am a Jackass" a 1000 times on paper.) Mario: (Angry) Keep writing! Jeffy: I am writing goddamn it. Mario: That's right. Jeffy: This’ll involve capitalizing right? Mario: That's a fact. Jeffy: Look I got a fortnite match in a half hour and I’ll be damned if I waste them on writing Mario: You’re midlife cliche. Jeffy: Daddy, How about I write with my other hand? My left one hurts like hell! Mario: I'm gonna go see Black Yoshi. You stay here and write more! And don't you ever do anything until you're done! Jeffy: I only did half! Mario: Then you have 500 left. (Mario is taking away Jeffy's phone) NOW YOU LOST YOUR PHONE FOR THE REST OF THE WEEK! Jeffy: You Ever Shut up, daddy? Mario: Don't you talk back to me. Jeffy: FINE!! Mario: I want a yes, sir. Jeffy: Yes, sir... Cuck-A-Lot Mario Kicks Jeffy’s Crotch Mario: JUST FECKING BEHAVE! JESUS! Jeffy (Cracked Voiced): ALRIGHT I’LL JUST FINISH THE 500, DAMN! Mario: I’ll say (Mario shuts the door.) Jeffy: How am I gonna nut with a weary left hand My right? Jeffy's Big Mess Up Jeffy: Here you go, daddy. (Jeffy accidentally spill the coffee cup on the floor.) Jeffy: (panicking) Oh Christ. Mario: It’s only an accident. Jeffy: Oh thank god! Mario: SIKE!! I told you not to spill the cup on the floor! And what do you do? You spill it! That's very stupid of you and i'm sick of it! Jeffy: Look, daddy. It was just an accident, Man! Mario: Oh, for your concern I CALL IT STUPIDITY! The End of Jeffy Mario: Jeffy, I'll get a towel for you! Jeffy: Thanks! (Mario gets a paper towel.) Mario: Here you go, Jeffy. Jeffy: The Hell? Mario: Now go clean up. Jeffy: Alright, daddy! Mario: Now time to watch some TV! Insert making a mess here Mario: Jeffy. DON'T EVER MAKE A BIG MESS IN MY HOUSE! Jeffy: Not on me. Mario: Thanks Insert destruction montage here Mario: YOOOOOOOOOOOU!!! YOU DESTROYED EVERY ROOM I HAD!! Jeffy: Dipshit, You started this! (Mario shakes with fury, then becomes ominously calmly.) Mario: What I'm gonna do to you. (Mario had an idea.) Mario: I'm so ANGRY!! First I'm gonna break every bone in your body. Yeah, And then I'm gonna hulk smash you with a belt. Jeffy: Daddy! You're scaring the hell outta me! Mario: So, you're scared, huh? Okay. Next I'm gonna TEAR your eyes out of the sockets with a katana! Jeffy: (Cracked Voice): A KATANA?! Mario: Exactly And you wanna know what i'm gonna do next? Jeffy: What? Mario: I'm gonna break your every single bone inside your anatomy and you're gonna get arrested by the FBI and i'm gonna feel really good about myself and never show remorse. Jeffy: Oh my god! You have gone apeshit! (Mario prepares to do what he said to Jeffy.) Jeffy: (terrified) Come on, daddy. Give me a reason why you hate me.... despite you adopting me for millions of dollars. Mario: How about a hundred reasons why I hate you Let me explain... (The time card reads "2 Hours Later" with Mario explains why he hates Jeffy.) Mario: (yelling) I HATE YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE A STUPID IDIOTIC BRAT!! All you do is complain, cuss at me and asked me if i'm high, threw TVs and boomboxes in lakes, threw temper tantrums, break stuff, play Fortnite everyday, assaulting innocent people, smack women's butts in Pensacola Beach, attacking them and ruin my life like everyone else does to me! I'm getting tired of your bad behavior and all you do is call me a faggot, get me arrested! As for the lottery ticket I wanna run away from this house and never come back! Jeffy: But your fans need you! Mario: You was the chosen one! It was said that we would resist the dark web, not join it! Bring balance to the channel... not leave it in darkness! I HATE YOU! I trusted you! And now They think I’m an annoying jerk and I QUIT! (We cut back to Mario And Jeffy yelling at each other.) Mario: And the reason I hate you the MOST, Jeffy, is because of Modern SuperMarioLogan! Now why would Anyone in the atmosphere ever create a stupid future like this! Why would he created it just to torture me! He can create anything else, but it's okay. Any last words before I call the cops? Jeffy: I'm really, really, sorry. Mario: Yeah right. That’s what they all say. Jeffy: Come on man! I apologized! Mario: Too late! I'm telling! But first... (Jeffy shrieks) Mario: FIRST.... I've gotta beat my meat. Jeffy pauses Mario: Don’t leave me. Stay where you are! Right fucking here! I’ll be back. Jeffy faints Later in court The Court Session Judge Goodman slams his hammer on the podum, signaling the session has started. Judge Goodman: The court is now in session! We have the main subject, Jeffy Francois! Rosalina is his defender and Mario Mario is his opponent! Now, Francois? How would you plead yourself? Jeffy: For your concern I plead myself not guilty, I've done nothing wrong! Get this. Many times he fucked my ass I told you he intruded my house stabbed a pumpkin aaaand A plane killed my drone! Rosalina: He's telling the truth, judge! Just let him go! Judge Goodman: Order! Anyways, Mario! Your explanations Mario: Well, I've told Jeffy to be a good boy, but he keeps disrespecting me and won’t even pay attention! First, he and Rosalina got me humiliated on the news just because I spanked Jeffy! And Then, he locked me out of the house for not giving him chocolate cake and most of all, after his mother, Nancy was taken to prison and Jeffy promised to be a good boy if I adopted him! But I thought he keep his promise but NO! Rosalina: Allow me to explain. My husband is a fanatic on child abuse and he was Just wants to tear our family apart... (Rosalina’s last sentence is drowned out by very loud disagreement of the jury, Rosalina looks dejected.) Jeffy: I'd like to take this moment to say... Daddy‘s the cancer to this state. I tried to stop him, but would he listen to me? Hell to the no! I’m beginning to think we’re better off without him. You know that? The entire jury gasps. Mario turns on the TV showing clips from Jeffy's Bad Word, Locked Out and every bad video so far. Judge Goodman: OH MY GOD! Well, the decision has been made. Jeffy has been annouced GUILTY! Rosalina: WHAT?!? Jeffy: {Very nervous} Shit. L-L-L-Le-Le-Le-Le-Let me explain. There’s been a misunderstanding. No! I didn't mean for... Yipe! Look, I’m sorry I called you... Daddy! Hey! The cops grab Jeffy and drag him away. Jeffy: DADDY!!! Judge Goodman: Court dismissed. Jail (Jeffy is behind bars) Jeffy: Does this mean I’m not in the next Season? Jeffy Hears rattling From behind Rattlesnake Jake: Do you mind if we forego the whole creepy bounty hunter thing? A pair of hands pet a custom doll Junko: I can turn it on if you want. I can talk about the Dadaist patterns of arterial spray. Mcleach: Tough to see you in this light. [Jeffy approaches] Jeffy: Well? Rattlesnake Jake: When we get out of here, and we will......bullets fly. [Junko Enoshima, Rattlesnake Jake And Mcleach come to the light and smile nastily while jeffy shrinks to the floor] Jeffy: I just shat my pants. At Home Rosalina: YOU DIRTY BASTARD! YOU ARRESTED MY SWEET BOY!! Come on, Mario! You're better than this! Jeffy was just suffering a mental breakdown! Mario: Bitch Please! Jeffy doesn't have a mental breakdown, I’ll have you know that Jeffy was trying to ruin my life! If you love Jeffy so much, why don't you just marry him. Rosalina: I’m not a pedophile, thank you very much. Mario: Exactly! As long as you're living under my roof, I forbid you from seeing Jeffy! Rosalina: What?! WHY NOT!? Mario: Because Everyone In this town uses me as a punching bag for a web series and I’m not to blame you and jeffy are responsible for your actions and when will learn that your actions have consequences?! Rosalina: OH! HERE’S A NEWS FLASH! YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE THAT! WE DON’T NEED LUIGI BECAUSE HE’S JUST A WORTHLESS SCAREDY CAT! WE HAVE NO MORE USE FOR BATTLING AND EXPLORING. ADVENTURING AND DISCIPLINE ARE NOW FORBIDDEN UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH! AND CONSEQUENCES AREN’T NEEDED FOR OUR ACTIONS THE ONLY THING THIS CHANNEL GIVES IS ZERO FUCKS! Mario: Well then I have 3 questions: 1: Why did you kick Luigi out? 2: What do you mean we have no more use for adventures or fighting back? And 3: WHY DID SOCIETY BETRAY ME LIKE THIS?! Rosalina: 1: Luigi’s the sidekick you’re the hero Luigi’s the coward you’re the bravest 2: The world isn’t really your oyster like it used to be! And lastly YOU’RE JUST A DOWN TO EARTH PERSON WHOSE BETRAYED FOR ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG! Mario: Luigi’s brave too Rosalina: For your concern he’s never brave. Let’s post the videos before we get sued for everything! Mario: I recommend Vimeo or dailymation why don’t we use that? Rosalina: YouTube’s the only one for us Mario: Oh-Oh-Oh I’m sorry, It’s that you’re just jealous because we used YouTube for a long time. But We’re no longer safe here We all have to disappear completely off the grid! So we can have a better chance of being a better channel Rosalina: What The Fuck Are You Talking About?! YOU NEED TO WASH YOUR MOUTH WITH SOAP LATER! REHASHES CAN GIVE YOU HAPPINESS RECYCLING PLOTS CAN FIND YOU FRIENDS AND FILLER WILL SOLVE ALL YOUR PROBLEMS! WE’RE ABSOLUTELY NOT MOVING TO DAILYMATION OR VIMEO YOUTUBE’S THE ONLY PLACE FOR US! AND IF YOU THINK THE COPYRIGHTS ARE COMING FOR US THEN WE’LL JUST MAKE FAMILY FRIENDLY VIDEOS UNTIL IT BLOWS OVER!!! Jesus Christ! Mario: WHO CARES ANYMORE?! THERE’S NO WAY OUT OF THIS! THIS VIDEO IS OUR LAST! There’s No More Quality. Come To Think Of It... The only way left to quality is to give what the fans want, finish every scrapped series and bring back the originals Rosalina: We’ll Find A Way Out Of This I Doubt It’s Be our last video We ARE making quality There won’t be promises on giving fans what they want Fuck The Series We’re better off with movies and shorts and Originals are useless we have to stick with modern times. Mario: Listen to me Our channel fell over and died Rosalina: That's it! I'M SICK OF YOU GETTING RID OF JEFFY! I WANT A DIVORCE! Mario: Well You should’ve got it while you were gone for a year Rosalina: YOU KNOW WHAT, MARIO?!! I HATE YOU AND YOU WERE FUCKING HIGH ALL ALONG!!! Mario: Where did you learn that kind of behavior? You must've learn that from Jeffy?! Rosalina: That’s the formula of the channel. Come to think of it... Who were the sluts you met last night? Mario: Their names are Panty And Stocking. And while you left a year ago you must’ve been replacing me with someone else Rosalina: Don't you DARE bring up that! Mario: You admit it! You unbelievable bastard! Those two are the better version of you only less stupid. Panty is a man magnet who wants dick 24/7, stocking is very pretty cute and pretty, she eats candy a lot and the weight goes to her tits And she gets me and Luigi needs me now that the barrier’s broken the Evilites are coming and we’ll be ready. Rosalina: What the fuck are you talking about? You need to get these three out of the house! Panty is a slutty thot, Stocking is a diabetic whore and Luigi is a unwanted coward! Mario: WHO TAUGHT YOU THESE LIES?! Rosalina: I’m being a truther dipshit. Mario: This kind of behavior won’t save the channel, they think it’s time to move on Rosalina: Moving on is forbidden! Mario: Bullshit I already did last night cause you’re cheating on purpose and I believe you care about jeffy and your parents more than me. Rosalina: I left for a year and this is the welcome back You give me? Mario: Duh. Rosalina: Now Get Your Ass In The Goddamn Gaming Room. Mario reaches for the watch Mario: Hey Rosalina Rosalina: Come Again? Mario: You will forget all about Jeffy for- (Rosalina grabs the watch and smashes it.) Rosalina: Oh, I’ll forget about it all right. I'LL FORGET ABOUT YOU!!! (Rosalina starts pummeling Mario But grabs her fist and punches her.) Rosalina: OWW! MY FACE! Mario starts beating up Rosalina A La Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure as she starts screaming in agony. Mario then throws her out the window, Rosalina covered in glass. Rosalina gets up as she waves her wand, summoning a Luma. Mario: Rosalina? WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED?! Rosalina: Join Us! Yes She betrayed her own husband and we can go with KAPfan9876’s scene request Luma punches Mario And then he grabs Luma by the legs and spins around multiple times before tossing him to the ground. Mario then realizes that Rosalina Is Not herself She turned into... a deadite. Mario: IMPOSTER! Mario charges his hands with flames before unleashing two spiraling blasts of fire on Rosalina, damaging her and pushing her backwards. Woody And Shrek: The fuck’s going on here?! Rosalina: YOU CHEATED ON ME! (To Mario) YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO RETIRE FROM HUNTING! (To Woody) AND YOU SHOULD'VE DIED FROM THE EATING DISORDER! (To Shrek) YOU BOTH WERE SUPPOSED TO BE LEFT FORGOTTEN SO THE MODREN CAST CAN SET IN! Woody And Shrek: WHAT THE FUCK WE HAVEN'T DONE SHIT TO YOU! Rosalina: You Disobeyed the formula! Rosalina sends a small group of Lumas to rush at the three. the Lumas knock the three back before Rosalina raises her wand, warping the three into the depths of space, they turn to see the Comet Observatory as it flies by them. Rosalina, who's standing on top of the Observatory, then transforms it into its comet form before rocketing in the three’s direction while engulfed in a field of energy. The Comet Observatory then attempts to ram into the three at high speeds, crushing them and sending them flying backwards to finish them off. But Shrek breaks free from the warp and charges at the Lumas and punches. Shrek pulls the Lumas in close and starts smacking them in the face a couple times. Shrek then lights the lumas’ faces, knocking them unconscious, before holding them close to his boom-stick and shoots, causing a colossal explosion of gun powder that sends the lumas flying away. Rosalina: Even now we will have your darling‘s little soul, as she will suffer in torment! Mario: If I See stocking’s soul I’m GOING UBER MARIO IN THIS BITCH! Rosalina: YOU NEVER RECEIVED A REPERCUSSION FROM ALL THE THING YOU DID TO ME! NOW IT’S TIME YOU GET ONE! Mario sees stocking‘s soul getting taken Mario: Oh-Oh I see one! Alright you're in for it now! (X2) Rosalina (“Reverting Back To Human” just pay close attention): Help Me. Please, Help Me. Mario: YOU’RE IN FOR IT NOW BITCH! Rosalina gets hit on the head with a chair. She tries to levitate away from Mario but he grabs her end of her pale turquoise dress causing her cyan-blue eyes to turn blind on the left with a dark yellow color on the right (I fused together the original and reboot of the evil dead) Mario is swinging Rosalina from left to right with rosalina reverting to human and deadite at the same time Rosalina: Help! SWALLOW YOUR SOUL! What’s Happening?! JOIN US! Mario?! DEAD BY DAWN! I thought you loved me! KISS ME, YOU DIRTY CUNT! You killed SuperMarioLogan! I WILL FEAST ON YOUR SOUL! Mario You're a faggot! HE’S COMING! I WANT A DIVORCE! Mario: 1 year too late Mario pulls out a smoke grenade and rolls it towards the deadite before it explodes, releasing a cloud of gas, the deadite will leap from it, before Woody aims his gun at the deadite and fires a barrage of shots into it’s chest until his gun clicks empty, at which point he throws his pistol at their head to stun them. Woody then pulls an assault rifle out and pumps the opponent full of bullets, ending with him throwing it at the opponent as well when it runs out of ammo. Finally, Mario picks up a shotgun off the ground, and loads it with ammo before aiming it at the opponent and finishing Deadite Rosalina with a shot to the head. He then grabs Rosalina and throws in her in the lake. But a kraken tentacle grabs Rosalina And slams her left and right and stabbed in the head with a pair of scissors and goes down at full force. Rosalina starts thrashing due to the fact she can’t swim. She then sinks into the lake and drowns. That pair of scissors float to the surface but they are revealed to be dimensional scissors Mario grabs the pair and looks at it with rotating and takes a snip snap) Mario: I Found Them. I FOUND THEM! [Echos] We zoom out to the all seeing eye where moon butterfly is watching. {Slight pause, Dark Star appears behind Moon.} Moon: Kill Him. {Dark Star flies towards the all seeing eye; Moon stands motionless.} Mario: I CAN’T BELIEVE I HAVE TO TEACH JEFFY A LESSON! ROSALINA GOT FUCKING POSSESSED BY A DEADITE AND YOU KNOW WHAT’S WORSE? I LOST MY GODDAMN JOB ON YOUTUBE! WHAT THE HEEELLL?! At least I got panty, stocking and Luigi on my side. Mario opens the door and Dark Star is in front of him. Mario: WHAT THE HELL?! Dark Star: Black Widow Calamity Cobweb! She Creates an energy web that traps Mario. And he looks at Luigi next to him Luigi: I heard the whole argument unnoticed. Dark Star: I'm gonna need Mom's property back. [Panty and Stocking, restrain Dark Star] Mario And Luigi: The Fuck? Panty: [to Dark Star] Where is it? Luigi: I don’t know the question. Dark Star: The metaverse required correction. After that, the magic served no purpose beyond temptation. Stocking: YOU MURDERED TRILLIONS! [Stocking shoves Dark Star to the ground] Dark Star: You should be grateful. Mario: What do you mean the magic served no purpose beyond temptation? Thanos: Absorbed. Injected in my atoms. I used the magic to take the magic from every magic being. Just to stop Mina from killing me, but the work is done. It always will be. I am... inevitable. Panty: An ally is many things. A liar is not one of them. Dark Star leaves in a warp Mario: ‘sigh’ IF ONLY- Okay they’re not stalking. I can already it. I’ll spent the green on Gun, Booze And So Many Hookers! So they will suck my dick it’s not sucked in so long I still have the mojo shlong. I can see it now. WHORES! Hell yeah! Then Mario sees something glowing and he looks down and sees a rock Guess What? It was the meteorite rock Mario just puts it in his pocket because he doesn’t remember [Discovery Scene] {Mario gets in the car The music continues. Milkweed pot’s floss is stirred into the air by closing the window. The camera follows its path. It crosses the desert. Next we see Rafiki's hand snatch some it out of the air. He sniffs it, grunts, and bounds down into his tree. He pours the milkweed into a turtle shell, sifts it around, and then eats from the same kind of fruit he anointed Simba with. Examining the milkweed floss again, realization dawns on his face.} Rafiki: Mario And Luigi? They’re- They’re alive? He- He- They‘re Alive! {He laughs} {Rafiki grabs his staff. Laughing in delight, he picks up some paint and puts a couple beards on the smeared plumbers image on the wall.} Rafiki: It is time! In the clothing store Mario: First, that iconic overall and long sleeved shirt combo is much too vintage. These threads and tags--what are we trying to say--beggar? No. Let's think of something here Mario grabs a Red Vest, Orange briefs, Blue shirt and pants, A wig to cover his bald head and a Red Colored Double-D Lookalike beanie with the letter M on it Mario: Ooh. I like it. Muy macho. Mario’s phone rings. Mario: Hello? [cough] Hello? Luigi: (on phone) Bro? Where the hell are you, man? Mario: Luigi? Luigi: (on phone) You should have been here a Day ago! Mario: What? What are you...Hold on. Mario looks at his phone saying 7:50pm. Mario: Oh, hell! I remember! Luigi: (on phone) Look, maybe we should just call the whole thing off! Mario: No way, man! It's now or never! Luigi: Well, you better get a move on! I'll meet you at the strip club! Mario: Which one? Luigi: The peppermint mocha! It’s our childhood gentleman’s club. (Mario Runs And pays for the clothes as the leg transitions to Gazeem as he hesitates, then moves one foot inside the cave. With great apprehension, he plants his foot down. Nothing happens. Relieved, he begins his trek again. Then another roar comes. He turns back, but the lion's mouth slams shut and the dune collapses back to normal. All that are left are Darkness, IAGO, and the two separated halves of the medallion.) CAVE: Seek thee out, the Rock in The Meteorite. (IAGO unburied himself from the sand, coughing as he does so.) IAGO: I can't believe it. I just don't believe it. We're never gonna get a hold of that stupid lamp! Just forget it. Look at this. Look at this. I'm so Pissed off that I'm molting! (He flies up to Darkness's shoulder.) Darkness: Patience, Iago. Patience. Gazeem was obviously less than worthy. IAGO: (Extremely sarcastically) Oh, there's a big surprise. That's an incred--I think I'm gonna have a heart attack and die from no surprise! What're we gonna do? We got a big problem here, A big prob- (Darkness pinches his beak shut.) Darkness: Yes, we do. Only one may enter. I must find this one, this...Rock in The Meteorite. Mario: I gotta be me! I just gotta be me! I’m sure I can handle the new generation. He ZZZIPS into the bathroom INT. BATHROOM Mario sticks the poster of The peppermint mocha on the bathroom mirror and blows her a kiss. Mario: (a'la Mask) HoId on, Sugar. Daddy's got a sweet tooth tonight. He brushes his teeth, sprays on cologne and bats himself with a powder puff in flashes. He ZZZIPS into the bedroom. INT. BEDROOM Mario stands before a mirror and checks himself out. He changes and appears in a wild banana yellow zoot suit complete with a snap brim fedora. Mario: That's the ticket! Mario quickly searches his pockets. He pulls his pants pockets inside out. Mario (CONT.): Can't make the scene if you don't have the green. I better make a little stop. Mario ZZZIPS out of frame. BANK - NIGHT The street is quiet and empty, except for an Amazon delivery van parked across from the bank. INT. TRUCK Crowded with the sinister clan, it's been set up as a makeshift control room for the robbery. Mister Negative SLAPS a clip in his katana gun and looks down through the van's false bottom to Doctor octopus, who is standing in an open manhole working on a bundle of underground wiring. Mister Negative: What's the E.T.A.? Doctor Octopus: Another five minutes. Rhino synchronizes his watch. Rhino: Counting down... now. Rhino’s suit opens Alex O’hirn And presses a button on the side of a miniaturized headset he's wearing Rhino (CONT.) (into headset): Lookin' good here, my man. INTERCUT - DORIAN'S OFFICE He sits at his desk, speaking into a high tech walkie talkie. In the B.G. Dorian's wall-mounted video monitors display live shots of the club in full swing. Venom: Nice work, Rhino. You my friend are on your own now. We’ve got to make sure we’re seen downstairs. Electro (V.O.): Do it, man. The Kingpin‘s about to operate. INT. VAN Kingpin turns to his men. Kingpin: Sinister Clan... (cocks his gun) Let's do our duty and grab the booty. The clan gather their gear when suddenly the bank alarm starts RINGING. Electro zips down the hole to Venom. Electro: (Distorted And CONT.) What the fuck you doin', vee? Venom: Nothing! The alarm went off automatically! Kingpin: (to the others) C'mon! You keep that motor runnin'! EXT. BANK Kingpin and company race across the street with weapons drawn. ANGLE ON THE BANK DOORS Carnage and Vulture flatten themselves on either side of the door as Black Cat drops to one knee and quickly picks the lock. Suddenly the glass doors EXPLODE wide open as a HUMAN WHIRLWIND bursts out of the bank, shoots right past them and zig-zags up the street. Twenty dollar bills slowly drift down onto the stunned robbers in its wake. In an instant the whirlwind does a U-turn, zig-zag races back up to them and SCREECHES to a halt. The Mask, still in his banana yellow zoot suit and carrying huge sacks of money like Santa Claus, plucks those stray twenties from the air, one, two, three. The Mask: Sorry, fellas. Waste not want not! And ZZZOOM, he's off again. Kingpin pulls his gun. Kingpin: Get that fucker! Two cop cars now SQUEAL around the corner, their sirens blaring and ROAR up the street at the bank robbers. Vulture: Oh, shit! The clan race back to the van, dive inside and PEEL OUT. The police open fire as they roar after them in hot pursuit. Bullets tear into the van, blowing out the rear windows. CUT TO: EXT. PEPPERMINT MOCHA The building is a grey rectangular building with a pink and white striped sign with The Peppermint Mocha logo spread across the top of the building. On the left side of the building is the entrance with a red carpet and red door that reads "Gentleman Welcome" There is also a pink sexy woman silhouette on top as well as an dark red and white awning with a mocha with white and pink stripes on it above the entrance. There is also a neon sign that reads "Girls! Girls!! Girls!!!" and two banners that read "Artisanal Strippers" and "Locally Sourced Girls!!!" below the Peppermint Hippo sign. The die-hard crowd of TRENDIES is piled up outside as usual clamoring to get in. But a buzz of excitement begins to travel through the crowd as one by one they hear... A LIMOUSINE’S HORN But not just any limousine. As it slowly pulls up by the front of the club we realized it's long... longer... the longest limousine we’ve ever seen. Finally the passenger door rolls into sight and the limo comes to a halt. The door open and out comes Mario. Mario: How do? The crowd parts like the Red Sea as the Mario. Sashays to the front door. Butch: The lads of 7 Grand Dad and Agent Xero has returned! Droopy: Are You on the List? Mario: No, but I beIieve my friends are. Perhaps you know them? Franklin, Grant, Roosevelt and Jackson. No? He tosses a handful of loot in the air and struts into the club as the crowd scrambles for the cash. Butch: That's it! Nobody’s getting in! INT. PEPPERMINT MOCHA Luigi: Where have you been, Bro? Mario: Hi, Luigi. Did you get the camera? Luigi: Look, Bro, if the koopa troopa catch me with this they’ll kill us! Are you sure we gotta do this? Mario: It's my only chance, Luigi. Sml turned me into a nobody! But after today... Mario and Luigi are suddenly flooded with light. Mario squints into it. Mario: Shaggy! Shaggy is drinking at the fire hydrant with a straw. Mario and Luigi examine the video equipment on a dolly. Mario: Wow! All this is for us? Shaggy: Mmmmm. A La Slurpage! Mario: Oh, this is going to be so great, man! Mario begins to wheel video equipment away. Shaggy grabs it back. Shaggy: Dude, need fundage, man. Mario: Oh, your fee! Yeah, yeah! Right here. Mario reaches into his backpack, and brings out a bag, handing it to shaggy. Shaggy reaches into the bag and pull out an aerosol can. A look of ecstasy comes to his face. Shaggy: Cheddar! [wolf howl] Cheddar Whizzie! He sprays an enormous amount of the cheese into his mouth. Mario and Luigi look close to nausea. Shaggy smacks his lips and coughs, spraying Mario and Luigi with cheese. Shaggy: Talk about Spe-scrumptious! Mario and Luigi: Son Of a bitch! Shaggy: Let's do it, my man! This is the first time we've gotten a good look at the place and it's a real eyeful. WAITRESSES make their way across the crowded dance floor with trays full of oversized drinks. Mario And Luigi is seated at a table on the other side of the club. Betty: Cigars? Cigarettes? Mario And Luigi? Mario turns to see BETTY BOOP standing with a box of tobacco wares strapped around her neck. In contrast to all the other guests, Betty's in black and white. BETTY BOOP: (continuing) Gee, it's swell to see you, guys. We miss you in Toontown. Mario: Wish I could say the same. What're you doing here, Betty? BETTY BOOP: Work's been slow for me since the cartoons went to color and those Pokémon fellas came here. But I still got it, Boys... (sings) 'Boop boop be-doop'. Luigi: Yeah, you still got it, Betty. (indicates Geezer) Who's Mr. Jocularity? BETTY BOOP: (Leans in): That's Marvin Acme, the gag king. Mario: Shoulda guessed. BETTY BOOP: He comes here every night to see those new girls. Mario And Luigi: What? BETTY BOOP: Sounds like you’ve never seen her, Eddie. Now the lights dim and Betty moves on. DJ Hippo: All right Guys, this is your DJ back from the bathroom looks like we have a surprise treat for you tonight: I can’t say the names because it’s a spoiler. If you haven’t masturbated before you got here... Welp you’re all gonna ejaculating And blushing. Here it is. DJ Hippo press play on the techno music and runs out the peppermint mocha, and the whole room goes pitch black and the runway’s lights beam yellow and dark blue pink slowly and then 2 shadows appear a blonde and a goth swaying hips and those two come out the fog reavling... Yep. Them. Panty And Stocking Why don’t we take a look at the designs shall we? Panty: Panty has Speared earrings those kind that are small on top and small on the bottom she is wearing a blue jeans vest in a greenish yellow crop top, a jean short shorts with the threads on the bottom, a brown belt with a golden buckle, on her wrists she has got a beaded and golden bracelet on both sides, nails pedicured red and green and white platform flip flops Stocking: Stocking Has A black headband On her head, she wears a black long sleeved midriff with her blue bra showing and her black sleeves end at pinkish lining and the rest are webbed until it reaches the middle finger, a black skirt with jewel necklace on her waist and black boots with zippers Both are in choreography that's the style of Jojo Gomez and Jade Chynometh. If there were such a thing as fashion police these outfits would be arrested for disturbing the peace. [Panty And Stocking] Ahh, ah-ah, ahh Ah, ah-ah, ah-ah-ah, ah-ah-ah Ah, ah-ah, ah-ah-ah, ah-ah-ah Ahh, ah-ah, ah, ah-ah Ah-ha, ah-ah-ah, ah-ah-ah Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah Mario And Luigi: Buh-Buh-Buh... [Panty] Welcome to the show [Stocking] Ah-ah-ah-ah, ah We're here to let you know [Panty] Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah Our time is now [Stocking] Ah-ah-ah-ah, ah Your Patience is running out [Panty And Stocking] Ah, ah, ah Ah-ha, ah-ah-ah, ah-ah-ah Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah Ah-ha, ah-ah-ah, ah-ah-ah Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah Feel the wave of sound As it crashes down Good Luck turning away This’ll make you wanna sta-a-a-ay We will be adored Tell us that you want us We won't be ignored Our time is your reward Now you need us Come and heed us Nothing can stop us Now What we have in store (ah-ah) All we want and more (ah-ah) We will break on through (ah-ah) Now it's time to finish you! Now there's a HOWL from behind Mario And Luigi. A Tex Avery type TOON WOLF, who came masquerading as a human, couldn't help but show his true colors at the sight of Panty And Stocking. He HOWLS as if it were a full moon. His tongue rolls out of his head and piles up on the floor like so much clothesline. His eyeballs telescope out of his head. And finally, the Wolf levitates and snaps rigid like an open jacknife. As the Wolf makes a rush for the stage, the Gorilla Bouncer grabs him by the suspenders. The Wolf, legs spinning madly, practically knocks Valiant's table over as he grabs at Panty And Stocking. But the Wolf has come to the end of his suspenders. He snaps back toward the Gorilla who is holding an anvil in front of the suspenders. CLANG! The Wolf hits the anvil and slides to the floor. The Gorilla calmly whisks him into a dustpan and carries him out. Panty: Hey, fellas The time is right Stocking: Get ready Tonight's the night Boys, what you're hopin' is about to come true Both: Let us be good to you Panty: You hard guys You're feelin' all alone Stocking: You sweet guys The best of you singles and pups Makes me eat you up Both: So dream on And drink your booze Get cozy Your babies’ here You won't be misunderstood Let us be good to you Stocking: Hey, fellas I'll take off all your blues Panty: Hey, fellas There's nothin' I won't do Both: Just for you So dream on And drink your booze Get cozy Your babies’ here Hey boys, We’re talkin' to you Your babies’ gonna come through Let us be good to you The anarchies’ grand finale. Panty And Stocking (In their anime looks. I’m reminding they’re always in their cartoon looks but when they’re acting sexy... this happens) around and around their bodies like a baton in one of those Hawaiian fire dances. As DJ Hippo bangs out the final beat of the tune, Panty SCREECHES Stocking to a halt, as the blonde grabs the goth to her body and both arch their backs flipping their hair lets their limbs rest their hands opened and their eyelids closed. They stay in that position for 10 seconds as they breath seductively then they turns their open their glittery eyes and smile, a cute smile and then they blow a kiss and leave... then the club goes silent for 5 seconds and everyone claps as one Mario And Luigi pass out Screwball's TABLE Electro looks nervous AF as he appears beside Dorian. Screwball: What the hell are you doing here? Electro: We got trouble. You better come upstairs. Screwball immediately rises and hurries through the crowd towards the office. Luigi: Now there’s two girls for us! We even have the same management style Mario: Name? Luigi: Hello name? Both: Give us the names come on! Betty: They are Panty And Stocking: Mistresses Of All Girl Power. Mario And Luigi: Panty And Stocking. 2 Names’ Warm The Soul Don’t Save Our Seats Boys Daddies’ gotta get 2 mommies Panty: I think I left a nickel onstage. Consider it my donation to the Sad-Ass Hoe Club. Classi: Ay! What did you say? Stocking: Panty said "sad ho," you sad-ass deaf twat. Panty and stocking laughs and Psyduck appears as panty opens the closet to change Panty: Excuse me, but I didn't see no sign saying "Stray Psyduck wanted." Psyduck: Psyduck. Mario: All right. Here we go. Keep it simple. No fancy stuff needed. Luigi: After all, They’re only strippers. We’re a world-famous Duo of wisdom. Mario: No need to be nervous. Mario And Luigi Knock on the door P&S: Come in. Mario: Miss Anarchies, Mario Monroe at your service at your service, ma'am. Luigi: Luigi Monroe, miss. Stocking: Say, aren’t you the dudes everyone’s been talking about? Mario: In the flesh. Panty: We were just about to leave for dinner Luigi: Why don’t we join you? Panty And Stocking: Hell yes! Psyduck grabs stocking’s pink Hoodie it says ‘I want Candy’ on the back Stocking: Why, thank you, Psyduck. You're sweet. Stocking pinches Psyduck’s cheeks Psyduck (Muffed): Psyduck! CUT TO: INT. Kingpin's OFFICE Mister Negative and Electro enter to find kingpin, sitting there, gasping in pain with a bar towel pressed against a bloody wound in his side. Mister Negative: What the fuck happened to you? Kingpin: I'll be okay. Mister Negative: Where's the money? Kingpin: Someone hit the joint before us. Mister Negative: Who? Kingpin slaps a trading card a Mario Kingpin: This sonuvabitch. He wore the mask as a disguise. Next thing we know there's cops all over our asses. Electro: Where's beetle? Kingpin: What happened ain’t pretty. (swallows hard) I need a cig. Electro: Yeah... sure. Get that, Fisk. Suck on that. Electro taps out a cigarette, places it between Kingpin's lips and lights it by snapping his fingers... (Thunder And lightning can make a flame) but the flame doesn't draw. Beat. The cigarette tumbles from kingpin's mouth. Electro glances at the window with a suspicious look and sees that The Plumbers And Anarchy Sisters Are In the peppermint mocha. Electro leaps to his feat and hurls his chair across the room in anger. It SMASHES the mirror over his bar. Electro (CONT.): Son OF A BITCH! Who are the mofos with Panty And Stocking? (Distorted) WHO?! Bowser is looking at the window. On it the plumbers and angels can still be seen in the hallway having a conversation. Bowser: I just haaaaad to know it was Mario And Luigi... Them's the fags! Electro: The Plumbers having dinner with Panty And Stocking? Kingpin: They’re dead meat. Bowser grabs a Colt. 45 from the desk, checks the barrel and jams it in his shell. Bowser: Come on! CUT TO: THE WINDING STAIRCASE The evilites race down the steps, guns drawn. Scanty calls to the host's stand. Scanty: Clear the club. Now! Bowser takes the first shot C.U. - TIE The shot-away piece of Mario's tie flutters to the floor. Mario: Hello! Electro: Club’s closed! Move it! You think I'm joking? Come on, move it! Bowser: Party's over, Let’s go! Kingpin: Panty, Stocking Get out of here. Get Iost! Kingpin: Okay, Plumbers. I wanna know where my money is, and I WANT IT RIGHT NOW! Mario And Luigi: Okay... Mario immediately whips out an old fashioned pull handle calculator, snaps on a green visor and starts tabulating. Mario: You got a 27.5% in T-Bills amortized over the fiscal 16-3/4% in stocks and bonds Panty And Stocking Laugh and cuts to Bowser, Kingpin And Mr Freeze look at each other wanting to kill the plumbers Luigi: Carry the nine and divide by the Gross National Product... Kingpin: Ice this deadbeats. Mr Freeze energizes his cryogenic suit and starts blasting icicles BLAM. BLAM. The Mario bros. dodges the icicles BLAM. The plumbers SPINS once and freezes in a la Elvis BLAM. The plumbers SPINS again and stops dressed as a matador, the bullet whizzes under his cape. BLAM BLAM BLAM A hockey goalie bats the bullet away. A Russian Dancer leaps over the shot. Bowser: Shoot Them! https://youtu.be/ejTgl3cCyDo plays P and S: O pitiful shadows lost in the darkness. O evil spirits born of those drifting between Heaven and Earth. May the thunderous power from the garments of these holy delicate maidens strike down upon you with great vengeance and furious anger. Shattering your loathsome impurities and returning you from whence you came. Butch: [laughs with joy] You lads are dead now! P and S: Repent, you motherfuckers! Panty swings her panties turning into her celestial gun and shoots Mr. Freeze but he fires an ice blast at panty and she shoots the ice blast. Mr. Freeze freezes the ground, causing panty to slip and fall, Mr. Freeze then walks up to panty, puts his hand in her mouth, and Panty fires three bullets at Mr. Freeze from Backlace. She takes out another pair of panties, which turns into another gun, gaining a glowing halo and pair of wings in the process. Panty then unleashes a fierce barrage of gunshots at Mr. Freeze, ending when Panty fires one last bullet that makes her opponent explode. Stocking Runs to bowser but she gets blown away by the explosion of a Bob-Omb and tries to get back up after the impact, but then a giant shadow looms in over her. Stocking looks up to see Bowser’s Flying Airship flying above them with Bowser at the very front, laughing and pointing at the goth. Bowser then clicks his fingers and suddenly all of the cannons all get ready to draw from the ship and aim down at stocking, while underneath the ship, a pack of Bob-Ombs are locked on stocking, ready to blow that drop on the goth. Bowser laughs as he commands the ships cannons get ready to shoot out the Bullet Bills outside of them and aim and lock on at stocking. Bowser then quickly flies far away from stocking as soon as the ships cannons are shot. In the distance as Bowser watches with his arms crossed. Suddenly stocking’s eyes go black and her pupils go white as she clenches her hand with a shadow aura as her body becomes a la noob saibot. Stocking gets a black halo and pair of wings but their like maleficent’s and she raises her swords gazing a dark aura. And flies and bowser fires the cannons and she slices the cannonballs and Bob-Ombs and breaks into the ship. Stocking does a lunging slash. She then flies at bowser and slashes him numerous times, each slash leaving behind a blue streak, before jumping into the air above him and doing a diving stab to the generator, causing the ship to explode. An explosion is seen where the opponent is. The explosion is in the shape of the Stocking symbol. And lands Mario And Luigi: Watch This! Mario And Luigi brings their mega mushroom as the down on the kingpin, forcing him to the ground, then forcefully stomps on his back five times before kicking his away Electro fires a blast of electricity from his hands and calls down several lightning bolts, supercharging him with electricity and transforming him into a giant humanoid mass of lightning. Electro then fires a barrage of electrical blasts down at Panty, But dodges causing a giant explosion of lightning, before using magnetism to levitate them into the air and about to finish them off with a giant electrified punch. But then suddenly gengar throws a corkscrew at electro “” = What The Pokémon’s saying Gengar: “You don’t fuck with the Gengar” Gengar morphs into shadow and travels beneath electro. Stocking then taps her Key Stone, causing Gengar To Mega Evolve into Mega Gengar. He even returns To normal. Gengar then puts his hands forward, draining electro's health, and coats them in dark energy. Electro starts writhing in hallucination as the darkness saps his health, before the camera starts showing what's going on inside his head, showing electro hallucinates as darkness creeps up around him. Finally, an image of Gengar's face appears on everyone and opens its mouth wide, swallowing him whole before it cuts back to the fight, showing Gengar revert to normal and hops onto stocking’s shoulder ending the song. This version’s Like Spider-Man into the spider-verse’s What Up danger Mario: You didn’t tell me you’re a Pokémon trainer! Stocking: All true heroes get a Pokémon team nowadays. Luigi: Bro And I have a Pokémon team too and we left them behind did we? Panty: You Guys are from the 80s. You must’ve have them with you by now Back at the house at 12:30AM Jeffy is sleeping in his crib peacefully and suddenly his stomach rumbles Jeffy: Stomach knock it off I’m trying to have a wet dream! The stomach rumbles again Jeffy: I just said shut up! It’s 12:30 In The Morning! Shit! The stomach rumbles trice Jeffy: JESUS HAROLD CHRIST! Why would my own tummy do this to me?! Something hates my sexy bod! Why would let my own tummy go rumbly this loud at THIS TIME AT NIGHT! Jeffy grabs his phone and turns on his flashlight Jeffy: Well at least Tomorrow’s the last day of school. I’m just gonna grab a couple microwavable taquitos, with a nice glass of milk, and a bowl of baked beans with shredded cheese with takis to scoop with. Just to clam me down from the stress from yesterday. After jeffy snuck out of the room he jumps off the ledge and lands on the couch not the one chef Peepee sleeps in and The speed goes a la howtobasic by microwaving the taquitos, pouring the milk into the glass, opening the can of baked beans, grabbing, opening the shredded cheese bag, sprinkling it onto the beans, grabs the takis bag and slowly opens the bag then suddenly he sees a Nutella snack and drink. Jeffy: Since when did daddy get this? Jeffy sweats Jeffy: How did this house get so hot? Improve the air conditioner! Goddamn! And quit playing with it After Jeffy gets full he opens all the windows except his room’s and gets back to bed Audrey (V.O): Bedtime has officially been canceled! https://youtu.be/y4DpGrU8KbQ plays Jeffy is sleeping until the floor shakes to the beat Jeffy: WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?! Is Chef Peepee playing his playlists again?! I hate his choice of music! It’s gonna be loud AF isn’t it Jeffy opens the window and gets blown away screaming Jeffy: THE FUCK?!? THAT IS WAY TOO LOUD! CLOSE! CLOSE! Damn! What kinda volume is that? 11k? How can you even hear that? [Suddenly, they hear a rumbling noise, they all turn to the doors all round and then Gengar comes in with his tongue sticking out, Mario, Panty and Stocking break down the subwoofer] Mario: I'm here! Luigi: [pops in] Me too [Hits his head against the hoop glass and holds his face] That hurt. Nico: E ai, galera? All right, everyone, listen up. Panty And Stocking brought us Mario And Luigi from the peppermint mocha, and let's show them some love, because I don't think they get out much like they used to. Pedro: Ya, ya, ya, ya, ya, yo! Everybody put their wings together and clap 'em as loud as you can. Flap 'em, clap 'em. I don't care, slap 'em. (Squawking) Nico: Party in the Ipanema, baby! Jeffy slam the windows one by one to block the sound complete with sync Jeffy: Man fuck daddy as soon as he picks me up we’re gonna a have a fucking talk man. Gonna shove his black dildo up his ass with no Vaseline we’re fighting. WE’RE FIGHTING! That’s it. That’s all there is to it and I’m gonna punch I’m in the ribs, I don’t give a damn if his calls the FBI. Mario And Luigi walk into the house carrying Panty And Stocking while they’re asleep. Their snoring is heavenly Jeffy: Way to keep people up daddy! We’re gonna be talking tomorrow when I get back from school INT. Darkness’s Chamber - The Neitherrealm (Rasputin is crashing around, trashing stalactites, etc. when the Reliquary rockets Bartok into the underworld, slamming him intothe ground.) BARTOK: - Oh boy. Ow. what. Ow!! I tell you what ow! Darkness: Slave in the magic mirror, come from the farthest space, through wind and darkness I summon thee. Speak! Let me see thy face. [the face in the Magic Mirror appears before Darkness] Magic Mirror: What wouldst thou know, my Lord? Darkness: Magic Mirror on the wall, who now is the wisest one of all? Magic Mirror: Famed is thy bravery, Majesty. But hold, two humble plumbers I see. Sleeves cannot hide their sly strength. Alas, they are more wise than thee. Darkness: Alas for them. Reveal their names. Magic Mirror: Colored red and green as the Fall. Hair brown as dirt. Skin white as snow. Darkness: Mario And Luigi live! RASPUTIN: Who dares intrude on my solitude? Get out! Get out! OUT! (Rasputin picks Bartok out of the rubble squashing the very breath out of Bartok’s little body.) RASPUTIN: Bartok? RASPUTIN (CONT’D) Is that you? BARTOK: Ahh, Ooh…Master? alive …? You’re… RASPUTIN: Yeah, In a manner of speaking! (Rasputin drops Bartok. Rasputin’s eyeball pops out and lands in Bartok’s arms.) BARTOK: Whoa, that fell right out of there sir. RASPUTIN: Something’s happened. BARTOK: Yeah! Woopsey! RASPUTIN: I knew it! I could feel the dark forces stirring. BARTOK: I’m not surprised because I saw her. Mario… Oh! RASPUTIN: The Plumbers?! Alive?!! (Rasputit’s lips pop off.) (Bartok can’t take is eyes off them.) BARTOK: Ah, sir, your lips they’re ah RASPUTIN: That Romanov brat! BARTOK: Wow … Yeah, ain’t that a kick in the head. I guess a curse just ain’t what it used to be, huh sir? (Rasputin, in a rage, grips Bartok in one fist. He doesn’t even know he’s holding the bat as he squeezes for emphasis.) RASPUTIN: That’s why… (CONT’D): … I’m stuck here in limbo! (He raises Bartok for the final blow. Bartok SQUEAKS in terror. Rasputin finally realizes he’s about to crush Bartok.) RASPUTIN (CONT’D): My curse is unfulfilled. (He flings his hand. His hand still gripping Bartok, disconnects and hits the wall. He stops, realizing his hand is gone.) (Bartok carries Rasputin’s hand, over to him. collapsed onto his bed, filled with-self-pity.) BARTOK: Wow, Ooh, Oh … (HUMMING AND GRUNTING AS HE CARRIES THE HAND) Darkness: Look at me. I’m falling apart. A wreck. BARTOK: Actually, considering how long you’ve been dead you look pretty good. Sir is this the face of a bat who would lie to you? Come on, for a minute there, you had your old spark back. Darkness: If only I hadn’t lost the gift from the dark forces, the key to my powers. (Bartok picks up the Reliquary from the rubble.) BARTOK: What? You mean this Reliquary? (Rasputin’s eyes widen.) Darkness: Oh, Where did you get that? BARTOK: Oh, I found it … Darkness: (Interrupts) GIVE IT TO ME! (He grabs the Reliquary.) BARTOK: Alright, Alright, Don’t get so grabby. Hades: If we get the rock in and out ba-boom! We take over the Metaverse. [A model of the Metaverse sits on Hades' table. We see the rock floating by its holder] Hades: But now, if Mario And Luigi finds us in hell City [The nuke explodes] Then we're through! [Hades holds up Pain and Panic] Okay, we can adjust. [He puts them down] I got it! [He pulls out twenty cards with Yzma, Turbo, Scar, Gaston, Govenor Ratcliffe, Captain Gantu, Randall, Jafar, Tamatoa, Ursula, Bellwether, Chernabog, Mother Gothel, DOR-15, Dr. Facilier, Prince John, Cruella de Vil, Shere Khan, Maleficent and Hans on them] Hades: I got these real nasty bad guys, we find the rock before Mario and Luigi and how do you do, we're livin' on easy street! Or Main Street. Whatever. Darkness: 15 Will not be enough! Hades: These are the guys I needed to conquer that kingdom Darkness: We have every one of the world’s most despised enemies there is in the history of the cosmos more than the magic kingdom! Yautjas, Marra, Gremlins! (Stroking the Reliquary) My old friend, together again. (Holding it, closing his eyes) Ah, Ha Ha! Now my dark purpose will be fulfilled, and the last of the Monroes will DIIIIIIIIIEEEE! Hahahahaaa! In the dark of the night I was tossing and turning, and the nightmare I had was as bad as can be. It scared me out of my wits! a corpse falling to bits! then I opened my eyes and the nightmare was me! I was once the most mystical man in all the realms (Ooh Ahh Ooh) When The Mario Bros. Reunited they made a mistake (Ooh Ahh Ooh) The new world order made our foes pay but one abomination triggered the way, Almighty Mewtwo beware the Evilites Are awake! Chorus: In the dark of the night evil will find them in the dark of the night just before dawn Darkness: Revenge will be sweet, (Chorus join) When the curse is complete All: In the dark of the night Darkness: They’ll be gone! I can feel that my powers are slowly returning tie my sash and a dash of cologne for that smell! As the pieces fall into place, I'll see the warriors crawl in a pace, Dasvedanja Mario And Luigi, farewell! Chorus: In the dark of the night, terror will find them Darkness: Terrors the least I can do! In the dark of the night, evil will brew Darkness: Soon they will feel, that their nightmares are real In the dark of the night Darkness: Until were be through In the dark of the night evil will find them (find them) In the dark of the night, terror comes true (Kill them) Darkness: You fools, here’s a sign, it's the end of the line, In the dark of the night (2x) Darkness: Come, My minions Rise with your master, Let your evil shine Find them now, Yes thrive ever laster In the dark of the night (3x) Vengeance Will Be Mine! Goodman: Breaking news Mkay! Last night The barrier has broken down! now we’re gonna be apart of the ‘metaverse’, more on the story as it develops. The sml rap plays from the living room downstairs muffled We zoom into Mario’s brain and we see his emotions they look like Jeffy’s but different Sadness Mario: Ah, That damn song! I swear this is gonna make me lose my very last shit. Anger Mario: Rhythm’s getting louder, Guys! Joy Mario: Then we gotta move faster! Don’t let anyone see the ticket. He sees the countdown with it “18 seconds ‘till showtime” on it until the video begin Mario: 2 seconds here. I'm the one in this beanie Remember? This story's about me, not them. I’m the protagonist and hades is one of the antagonists you’re about to see. OK. You got it? All right. We're gonna move ahead. Sorry to slow you down. Mario damages the 4th wall motherboard and runs back upstairs. Joy Mario: Guys, Status report. Anger Mario: I’m REALLY getting tired of this song! Mario barges In crashing the background Mario: Stop the music! Angry birds. If you’re watching this now ignore everyone in the background and know this: We should let bygones be bygones because Darkness created his regime and I really need your help! Woody: Wait a minute wasn’t our most despised enemies coming back from the dead?! Where did you get that outfit? Mario: 1: Yes 2: I thought it would be nice to have a redesign Mario: What’s the squirrel outfit for? Cut to squirrel suit Woody: We need it For a trap for bad luck Mario: I have my good luck charm. Points at Cri-Kee Shrek: Definitely not how luck works nowadays but that’s a maybe Chef Peepee: Name one reason why you’re acting like this Mario: Well... Well, at first, I was afraid I was petrified. I kept thinking that I could never live I could barely fly. And I spent oh, so many nights thinking how he did me wrong - And...and I grew strong - And I learned how to get along... Go on, now go! Mario kicks the camera people down Mario: I’m walking out the door! Just turn around now... Mario grabs a grenade and pulls the pin Mario: It is I who have the floor! Mario slides out the gaming room and the grenade explodes Mario: Weren't you the one who tried to kill me with goodbye? Did you think I'd crumble? Stocking: Hell No! Mario: Did you think I'd lay down and die? Stocking: Oh Christ, not Mario! Mario: But, I will survive........! As long as I know how to hate I know I'll stay alive. Mario shoots a couple cameras to sync the instrumental Luigi: I've got all my life to live, Panty: And I've got all my love to give! Luigi: And I will survive! Panty: You will survive! Luigi: I will survive! Mario’s emotions: We will survive! Mario: I'm a survivor I've got the eye of a tiger Been training again and eating my fiber You've been staying alive? Well, I've been staying alive You queer Watch where you sit, when I spit my saliva, like boom You've never seen a slave did you? Rocking and shocking and dropping and pop and locking too? Watch what I can do with out no autotune! With a flute Mario plays the flute on autotune Mario: If you try to keep me down, I'll just come back stronger You try to cut me short, I'll just come back longer If you beat me at ping pong, You’ll have to suck my ding dong-er Give me my keys, I am ready to drive one thing I know.... I will survive! I - will - sur - vive.......... You Guys need to be listening I don’t give a shit on why I should wear the squirrel suit while Darkness’s ninjas will come here any second and I failed, and failure is unacceptable! If they ever show their faces again, I kill them with Luigi. Chef Peepee: You know what I’m fucking getting tired of this channel the restraining order had everyone throwing and shooting spitballs and eat my eyeballs Shrek: Screw This Channel! We’re Done! Mario: This can't be happening. I want them DEAD! Putting a happy face on things. What an interesting philosophy. At what point did you forget THEY'RE TRYING TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD?!?!?! Chef Peepee: Then why are we here and screaming our asses off?! Mario: Because This is a matter of life and death there’s no time for stupid questions! Right now No one cares or watching this show the internet is panicking about the Evilites coming to town Chef Peepee: There’s No More sml? YEAH! IM TAKING MY MOTHERFUCKING JACKET! FUCK YOU LOGAN! WE’RE MOVING OUT NIGGA! Shrek: We’re taking all the food including Sara Lee And everything- Screw this! Mario: If bowser doesn’t die I’m retiring. FULLY. I AM RETIRING! I’M DONE WITH YOUR SWORD I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THIS SHIT! After packing Mario: YEEEAAAAAAH! Victory! Screw You Pigs! Hahahahaaaa! Yeah! (Daisy comes out of a portal) Mario: Daisy! What are you doing here? Daisy: I don't have time to explain, but suffice it to say, we’re in danger. We must leave Now. Mario: Why? Daisy: King Koopa Came Back From The Dead And He’s Working For Darkness and his Evilites Mario (V.O.): If you think that’s bad... if there’s one god you don’t want to piss off on- it’s hades. Don’t take my word for it I’ll just let the muses do the talking Thalia: (singing) He ran the Underworld, But thought the dead were dull and uncouth. He was as mean as ruthless- And that's the gospel truth. He had a plan to shake things up- And that's the gospel truth! (The ground pans into hell and shows HADES being rowed across the river Styx. Souls of the dead claw at HADES' robe as the boat progresses. HADES blasts them, then blows on his finger. They also encounter CERBERUS, the three-headed dog guardian of the underworld. HADES throws it a hunk of meat and the boat passes. The boat arrives at HADES' lair and he steps off.) HADES: Pain! PAIN: Coming, your most lugubriousness! (He trips, rolls down the stairs and lands on a sharp, three-pronged trident.) AAAHHH!! HADES: Panic!! PANIC: Oh! I'm sorry! I can handle it! (He runs down the stairs, but trips on PAIN, who's just managed to get himself free of the trident. The two tumble down the stairs, and PAIN ends up on the ground in front of HADES. PANIC follows soon after, but falls head-first onto PAIN, meaning his horns stick in PAIN'S backside.) PAIN: AAAHHHH!! Pain! (He salutes.) Oh! (He turns around, showing PANIC stuck in his backside by his horns.) PANIC: And Panic! (He also salutes.) BOTH: Reporting for duty! HADES: Fine, fine, fine. Just let me know the instant the Fates arrive. PANIC: (Who's just been pulled out by PAIN) Oh! They're here! HADES: (Whose flames are red rather than blue) WHAT?! THE FATES ARE HERE AND YOU DIDN’T TELL ME?! PAIN and PANIC: We are worms! Worthless worms! (To demonstrate this, they shape-shift so that they really do look like big, ugly worms.) HADES: (Cooling down) Memo to me, memo to me -- maim you after my meeting. (PAIN and PANIC look at each other.) (The scene changes to show the cavern where the three FATES are waiting.) ATROPOS: Darling, hold that's mortal's thread of life good and tight. (She cuts the thread with scissors and a woman's scream is heard.) LACHESIS: Incoming! (The FATES laugh as a woman's soul enters from the top of the cavern, flies past HADES and through the opening behind them. The counter above the tunnel reads OVER 50000000000000000001 SERVED.) HADES: Ladies! Hah! I'm so sorry that I'm -- ATROPOS: Late. CLOTHO: We knew ya would be. LACHESIS: We know everything! CLOTHO: Past. (LACHESIS takes the one eye that the FATES share.) LACHESIS: Present. (ATROPOS takes the eye.) ATROPOS: And future. (To PANIC) Indoor plumbing -- it's gonna be big. HADES: Great, great. Anyway, see, ladies, I was at this stakeout and I lost track of -- FATES: We know. HADES: Yeah, I know ... you know. So ... here's the deal. These guys. People who aren’t accepted by or who is isolated from society Now the barrier’s shut down by -- FATES: A Overpowered Pokémon. LACHESIS: We know! HADES: I KNOW! ... you know. I know. I got it. I got the concept. So, lemme just ask ... is these bums gonna mess up my hostile take-over bid or what? Whaddaya think? LACHESIS: Ah ... CLOTHO: (to LACHESIS) Oh, no you don't. We're not supposed to reveal the future. (She tweaks LACHESIS' nose, silencing her.) HADES: Oh, wait -- I'm sorry. Time out. Can I -- can I ask you a question, by the way? Are you -- (to LACHESIS) -- did you cut your hair or something? You look fabulous. (LACHESIS giggles.) I mean, you look like a Fate worse than death. (LACHESIS giggles even more. CLOTHO hits her on the back of the head and the eye falls out. Unfortunately for him, PANIC catches it.) PANIC: Oh, gross! (He gives it to PAIN.) PAIN: Yech! It's blinkin'! (He kicks it and it lands in HADES' hand.) HADES: Ladies, please! My fate ... (He puts the eye in LACHESIS' hand.) is in your lovely hands. LACHESIS: Oooh ... CLOTHO: Oh, alright. (The eye leaves LACHESIS' hands and floats above them. The FATES circle below.) LACHESIS: In 80 days precisely, the planets will align -- ever so nicely. HADES: Ay. A verse. Oy. ATROPOS: The time to act will be at hand! First Unleash the Undead, your monstrous band. HADES: Mm-hmm, good, good. LACHESIS: Then the once-proud Zeus will finally fall! And you, Hades, will rule all! HADES: YES! THE DEAD RULES!! ATROPOS: A word of caution to this tale. HADES: ‘Scuse me? ATROPOS: Should Hercules fight, you will fail. (FATES disappear, cackling.) HADES: (Bursts into red flames again.) WHAT?! (He cools down.) Okay, fine, fine, I'm cool, I'm fine. (A bell dings and a door opens.) Boys I’m think it’s time for a change of atmosphere maybe a nice summer place Pain: You could use a little sun, boss. Hades: Which is why I got my eye on this charming big metaverse. [We see the metaverse.] Hades: The charming part can be fixed but otherwise, it's got a little garden field Just redecorate maybe add some new drapes and bam we’re done Hades: But, best of all, we can get it for a steal! [He squeezes the miniature metaverse and it disappears in a cloud of smoke] The only problem, minor roadblock really. [A block of stone falls on the screen and shatters into a statue of Merlin holding a safe] Hades: Is this wizard, Merlin. He’s got a security system: The Barrier. [The safe turns into the barrier.] Word is, it blocks the outside so, Remember last time with that crystal? [Merlin is asleep in his chair. Pain and Panic steal the crystal on top of his shelf. Merlin wakes up. Pain and Panic run off with the crystal. Merlin gets up and takes out his wand] Merlin: Stop! Scoundrel! [He waves his wand shattering the crystal. Pain and Panic are sucked into a portal in the floor.] Hades: That’s not gonna happen again! I know just the guy who knows a lot about takeover Pain And Panic: You mean? Hades: Oh I mean. Deep within the bleak and dismal slaughter swamp hidden beneath its mirky waters outside of Gotham City lies the headquarters of the most sinister villains of All time THE LEGION OF DOOM Lex Luthor: The legion of doom is now in session it’s the purpose of the legion to kill the Justice League A leaving us not just the rulers of the world but the universe (Check out my version of the Legion Of Doom) Lex: The Atomic skull, The mighty Bane, The Awesome Bizarro, The tamaran conqueror Blackfire, The Egyptian 6 god powered Black Adam, The genocidal Black Manta, Brainiac the collector of worlds, Catwoman The queen of thieves, Captain cold you can call him Mr. snart, The cunning Cheetah...s, The shapeshifting Clayfaces, The venomous Copperheads, Deathstroke The terminator or Slade your choice on calling him, Devil Ray, The Electrocutioner, The Firefly, The Gentleman ghost, The feminine yet Ferocious Giganta, Gorilla Grodd king of gorilla city, Cyborg’s duplicate Grid, The acrobatic yet mad Harley Quinn, The one man Heatwave, The Joker, The KGBeast, The Cannibalistic Killer Croc, The Cold blooded Killer frosts, The Warrior Lashina, The Leader Of the legion none other than I: Lex Luthor, The electrifying Livewire, The bounty hunting Lobo, The mechanized Metallo, The Mirror master, The deadly Parasite, The Seductive Poison Ivy, The Puzzler, The Queen bee, The Riddler, The speed force’s Reverse Flash, The hideous scarecrow, The yellow lantern corps leader and scarecrow’s right hand man Sinestro, The loudmouthed Silver banshee, starro the conquer, Tala, The Toymen, The Thinker, Vandal savage, Volcana and Weather wizard Lex catches his breath Lex: I’ve gathered here before me the universe’s deadliest villains and yet each of us has failed to kill The justice league. After Mario’s brother Luigi has been missing for years the red plumber’s defenseless. With the greatest general around, Leaders like Darkness At gas station Mario enters the gas station and cashes his ticket in Sadness Mario types out a letter with a typewriter. Joy Mario: Okay, lemme see what you've got. [reads] From Mario. 'Dear SML, I’m Leaving you for fighting the dead around the world. It would mean a lot of you'd don’t come and be safe and let the professionals do it.' Hmm. That's great, except that you forgot, 'and since we're out of popourri, perhaps you wouldn't mind bringing up some!’ HELLO! This is the apocalypse! Make it sound a little urgent, please. You know what I'm talking about? Sadness Mario makes another letter. Joy Mario: Let’s see [Reads] Dear So-called "Family" It's obvious that I am not welcome here anymore unless I wear the old outfit on. Well, I grow tired of wearing that damn suit, and decided to leave this neighborhood and not be your "roommate" any longer. I only went along with Rosalina accusing me of spanking jeffy since I never wanted to attend your “videos”. But by the time I discovered that you went too far, you decided to throw me out like a dead body and sold most of my stuff. So I guess the punishment fit the crime eh everyone? But all you have done is treating me like a pet at best or an object or better yet the punching bag. I'd expect this attitude from Junior, Joseph, and Cody. But the two of you as well Logan and Chilly?! As for Cody, I thought you were the smartest, but you fell for my tricks as well as falling into superstitions because I hear by am retiring. Bowser, I used to think you would cover for me after everything I've done to you, but I guess I was wrong... I thought you were worthy enough to for my trust... but deep down, you’re a lazy ass. Jeffy, you called me your "daddy" but really, I'm nothing more but your slave... Goodman, you can find someone else to be your dummy, since your orange lantern bullshit Does nothing but hurt people who sends a driver’s license to the sun over a tap. I guess you like causing misery in others and stealing money, checks and lottery tickets. And I won one moving on Rosalina, I now think you're the worst wife in all of existence, but I think you're tied with Brooklyn Guy who uses me as a faggot who defends jeffy for no reason. To my dear "Cast" you can drown in the acid with the others! And You got demonized by YouTube because they fell bad for me If the Drops of tears are stained by the following sentences you have to trace them Why can't you accept me as your own friend?! So, I'm leaving this worthless, pathetic excuse of a town. Don't look for me, or else I will call the FBI on you! You know what In fact If I ever and I mean EVER find you in the mushroom kingdom again the guards of will throw you in the dungeon and that’s all the announcements I made I hope you guys have a nice day because none of us won’t have to deal with Your “videos” anymore Your former slave and pet, Mario Monroe P.S. Wonder I had my last name legally changed? Because it’s my birth name nice knowing you P.S.S. You come to me, again... In fact, you go anywhere in this universe, preying on innocent people and I will find you, and I will shoot both of your arms, and then both of your legs, and then we will rip your face right off your head. Do you understand? Yes. So you will be this armless, legless, faceless thing, won't you? Going down the street. Like a turd. In the wind. Do you feel me? Good ⁃ Mario 🖕 Losers P.S.S.S As for no such luck You’re bad luck and you’re no such luck P.S.S.S.S Kiss My Ass Anger Mario: That's better, much better! (Mario sees something walking into the moonlight, where there is a parade going on. Mario peers over the shoulders of people. He sees PRINCE ACHMED riding on a horse.)

BYSTANDER 1: On his way to the mushroom kingdom’s palace, I suppose.

BYSTANDER 2: Another suitor for the princesses.

(Mario is startled as the two children come running out from the alley. The BOY runs out in front of the PRINCE's horse, startling it.)

PRINCE: Out of my way, you filthy brat!

(The PRINCE brings up his whip to attack the children, but Mario jumps in front of them and catches the whip.)

Mario: Hey, if I were as rich as you, I could afford some manners

PRINCE: Oh--I teach you some manners!

(The PRINCE kicks Mario into a mud puddle.)

Mario: Come to think of it. It's not every day you see a horse with two asses!

(The PRINCE stops and turns back to Mario.)

PRINCE: You are a worthless plumber. You were born a plumber, you'll die a plumber, and only your stench will mourn you.

Mario: I'm not worthless! And I don't have fleas either!

6:30 PM

Everyone step out of the getaway Jeep

At the hotel

Later

INT. MOTEL ROOM - CONTINUOUS

The guys walk in.

Luigi: We should probably go.

Panty: Luigi, we’re literally on the doorstep.

Mario: Bad idea, bad idea, this is a bad idea--

Stocking : Just relax. The front door opens a crack, Nick Fury’s eye peering out. Then it WIDEN. He steps out onto the door, stunned at the sight of Peter. Isn’t he supposed to be dead? And for Peter, isn’t Aunt May dead?

Mario / Luigi / Panty / Stocking: We’re not ready for this.

Nick Fury: So Nice to see you 4 together

Mario: Hey Nick Fury... So this is going to sound crazy... but I’m pretty sure that I’m from—

Nick Fury: YouTube? Yes? No?

Mario: Yeah, I’ve heard that already.

Panty: Did spidey have a place where we could make another one of these?

Panty shows him the busted doodad. Nick fury regards it...

Nick Fury: (re: goober) A goober... Follow me.

So -

Nick Fury: OPENS A DOOR and leads them to a GARDEN SHED in the tidy yard.

Luigi: Oh yeah, I got one of these too. A little shed where I keep my---nudes? --A SHIELD-GRAPHIC begins to glow on the shed's door, which opens to reveal an ELEVATOR. Nick Fury: looks at Mario: was YOURS like this? As they enter:

Mario (CONT’D): I mean, this place is pretentious.

INT. NICK FURY'S LAB - CONTINUOUS --into RIPeter's MASSIVE, SPIDER-MAN MEETS CALATRAVA LAB: Crammed with crime-fighting and science gear, photos, hangout furniture, not to mention every hero-branded product in existence. They reach the bottom, fan out, exploring.

Mario: Whoa. Dude, was Spider-Man’s anything like this?

Nick Fury: It was like this, but take away the jeep, the plane... imagine it way smaller. Imagine a futon. I feel sad for that guy.

Panty And Stocking notices one of 616Peter’s costumes... it has a CAPE.

Panty: Wicked.

Nick Fury: Peter knew how dangerous the job was. But he figured the only one who could stop this guy was Spider-Man.

Mario: Kingpin knows we’re coming. We’re going to be outnumbered.

Nick Fury: Don’t be so sure.

Nick holds out “my name is” stickers.

Nick Fury: (CONT’D) You might need these. Nick Fury grabs a few Name tags Nick Fury: Think you’re the only heroes in the metaverse? SOUND OF BLINDS FLICKING OPEN-- Rango is lit with a sandstorm, a cowboy figure whose coat is inexplicably billowing around him. Rango: Howdy fellas. The name’s... Rango MILES: Is he a lizard? Panty: Where is that wind coming from? We’re in a basement. Rango: Wherever I go, the sand follows. And the wind, smells like rain. SOUND OF MACHINE WHIRRING ABOVE. BOOM! Jenny Wakeman JUMPS DOWN from above. Jenny: Hi guys! Konichiwa! Hajimemashita yoroshuku? BOOM! The teenage robot, LANDS IN A BADASS POSE.

Blade lands and draws his sword Hilda flies onscreen while carrying her Power Battery, before putting her ring inside of it to charge it. Hal then pulls the ring out, causing it to glow with blue energy Blue Lantern: Hello. I’m Hilda Of the blue lantern corps. Goofy walks onscreen while scratching his head and tips his hat Goofy: How Do? Donald angrily grumbles as he walks onscreen Sam and Max crash their car and hop out, Sam fixing his tie as Max grins. A block of ice is shown before it shatters to reveal Mei Ms. Fortune walks onscreen in a cloak and throws it off Marco Diaz flies onscreen while carrying his Power Battery, before putting his ring inside of it to charge it. Marco then pulls the ring out, causing it to glow with green energy, and aims it towards the camera. Spider-Man descends to the battlefield hanging upside-down from his own line of web saying "Yo, The Spectacular Spider-Man is Here!". A burst of blue smoke appears onscreen and Darkwing comes out of it, sweeping his cape. Stocking: This could literally not get any weirder. Darkwing Duck walks into the shot next to stocking. Long beat. He sticks out his hand for stocking to shake. Darkwing Duck: It CAN get weirder! I just washed my hands that’s why they’re wet. Panty: So, uh, how did you get here? Blade: Well, it’s kind of a long story. We see the collider explosion. Mario: I haven’t adventured in years because they prevented me from going out of town with their forcefield Nick Fury: That's right. You got to get back out to the big bright beautiful world and go through the realms. And save us all We gotta deal? Luigi stares in shock. Nick Fury: The world needs your help. They want you to make a come. A true hero. Armageddon is coming and Everyone is bringing the wraith of the 7 deadly sins with them Mario: We’ll do it. Nick Fury: Okay, then let's get down to business. Nick Fury slaps down a picture of Peach. Nick Fury: Here she is. Her name's Peach. She isn’t sweet as she used to be. She stole everything from us with her comrades. You have to watch out, 'cause she'll do you twice as fast as a speedster. Anger Mario: Whoa, huh huh. Cool. Nick Fury plunks down PLANE TICKETS. Nick Fury: Peach's marring Darkness in the mushroom kingdom in 80 Days Which we’ll kneel before them. Your flight leaves tonight, I got someone who’ll drive you to the airport. Mario: Tell You What we’ll go the distance Luigi: We’ll Tour the world Paris. London. Monte Carlo. Constantinople. Nick Fury: Right So You start tonight! Luigi: Can we watch some TV first? Nick Fury picks up the gun and SHOOTS the TV. Nick Fury: No.