The Home Invasion!

CROSS-ing Over Shorts!

Episode 21: The Home Invasion!

Synopsis: The Dastardly Three are up to another of their dirty plans! This time, they plot to break into someone’s house and steal their items so they can sell them on Craigslist! However, they end up breaking into Sunny Funny’s house! Upon realizing this, they attempt to leave, but not only is Sunny there, but so is Frida who can use her goggles to turn them into barbecue! Can they escape without being seen?

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The Dastardly Three are seen walking down a street.

The Dastardly Three: (singing) We brought back our theme song and we’ll sing it once again... just put your trust in only one trio!

Boney: (singing) Because with Boney...

Goombar: (singing) And Goombar...

Bett: (singing) And Bett...

The Dastardly Three: (singing) You know... that the Dastardly Three will always steal the show!

Narrator: It’s been a whole month since Sunny Funny brought the Dastardly Three to justice. Unfortunately, it looks like they broke out and are up to no good again! What will happen?

Boney: Ok, everyone! So, our newest scheme is that we are going to rob people’s houses and steal their possessions so we can sell them off of Craigslist!

Bett: That’s a great idea, Boney!

Goombar: Yeah! We’ll get rich for sure!

Boney: Now, remember. We must avoid running into this living flower thing by the name of Sunny Funny! She was the one who got us arrested and then again during the transport heist so we got to avoid her!

Goombar: Got you!

Bett: Same!

Boney: Ok. Let’s go rob that house there.

The Dastardly Three enters a pink house. However, loud beating sounds are heard and the Dastardly Three run off. Saiko emerges.

Saiko: GET OUT OF HERE BEFORE I CALL THE COPS!

Boney: Ok. Let’s try somewhere else.

Boney, Bett and Goombar sneak into Endless’ house and steal all of the possessions.

Boney: Yes! Our first score!

Narrator: And so the Dastardly Three began a horrific robbing spree! They broke into the town hall of Crash Bandicoot, reprogrammed his HUNTER armor to attack him and while Crash was dealing with the armor, the Dastardly Three swiped everything in the office and jumped out the back window as they made their escape. Then when they get to Mario’s house, they swiped not only everything but EVERYTHING! Bett snuck into the refrigerator. He took the entire turkey. He took the whole pudding. he took the cheesecake. He cleaned out that fridge as quick as a flash. Bett even took the last can of Spaghetti! Afterwards, there was nothing left in the household, besides a crumb, but it was too small even for a mouse.

The Mouse appears trying to eat the crumb, only for Bett to swipe it.

Narrator: A few houses later, the Dastardly Three have taken almost every item in the city! There was almost nothing left! Until this one big mistake!

Goombar: So, can we pull one more house?

Boney: Ok! Let’s go to that house over there!

The Dastardly Three head to a house which is yellow.

Boney: What kind of person would live in a yellow house?

Bett: RH does.

Boney: True.

The Dastardly Three enter through the window. However, once they are out of sight, the camera zooms up to reveal a flower symbol above the window.

Inside the house.

Boney: Woah, boys! We hit the mother-load!

Goombar: Yeah, we did!

Bett: Well, let’s rob the place!

The Dastardly Three begin to shovel the items into bags. Eventually, Bett picks up a photo of Sunny Funny and Denny Funny.

Bett: Look at this picture- Wait. That girl looks familiar.

Boney: It actually does.

Goombar: Like someone we met before-

Suddenly, the Dastardly Three scream in horror.

Dastardly Three: (horrified) SUNNY!

Bett: LET’S GET THE F*** OUT OF HERE, MAN!

The Dastardly Three run to the door, but stop. When they look out the window, they scream when they see Sunny’s car parking at the driveway.

Goombar: Game over, Man! Game over! Sunny is going to kick our a** if she finds out we’re in here!

The door begins to open.

Boney: Quick! Into the sofa!

The Dastardly Three jump into the sofa as Sunny enters the room.

Sunny: Finally I’m home after helping Crash deal with Murder Man and the others.

Sunny sits on the sofa.

Bett: Her butt is crushing my shell!

Goombar: Quiet!

The Dastardly Three sneak out of the sofa and head towards the door. Suddenly, Sunny hears knocking on the door.

Sunny: Who is that?

Dastardly Three: S***!

The Dastardly Three quickly jump onto the lamp as Sunny heads to the door. When she opens it, Frida is outside.

Frida: Hey, Sunny!

Sunny: Hi, Frida!

Bett: (whispering) S***! I heard about her!

Boney: You did?

Bett: Yeah! I saw her in an alleyway getting mugged by someone, but she used those goggles of hers to vaporize him! So if she sees us, we’re toast!

Sunny and Frida sit on the couch.

Sunny: So, how have you been doing?

Frida: Good so far.

Boney: Looks like we will have to find another way out.

The Dastardly Three sneak off the lamp and into the kitchen.

Frida: (voice) Well, I’m going to find something to drink!

Boney: Red flag!

The Dastardly Three hide in the freezer as Frida enters. Frida opens the fridge and drinks some sprite as Azaz enters.

Azaz: HEY! THAT’S MY SPRITE-

Frida activates her goggles and shoots a laser at Azaz.

Azaz: OH S***!

Azaz runs off as Frida leaves.

Bett: Ok. She’s gone.

The Dastardly Three leave the freezer. They try to open the back door, but it is locked.

Boney: Darn it! Why is it locked?

The Mouse is seen outside, holding a key.

Mouse: Payback’s a b****, ain’t it?

Boney: YOU SON OF A B****!

Boney slams against the glass and claws at Mouse, but is unable to.

Sunny: I think I heard something in the kitchen.

Boney: Crap!

The Dastardly Three sneak into a closet as Sunny enters.

Sunny: I don’t see anything so probably nothing.

Sunny leaves the kitchen as the Dastardly Three exit.

Bett: There’s got to be an exit!

Goombar: I’ll look upstairs!

Bett: I’ll look in the basement!

Boney: I’ll look in this floor!

The Dastardly Three split up.

Upstairs.

The Breather is seen jumping out the window as Goombar appears.

Goombar: Ok. I think I’ll see if there’s a window.

Goombar heads to the window, but it’s locked.

Goombar: Darn it!

Goombar sneaks into Sunny’s bedroom and spots a sleeping Radish.

Goombar: Oh dang! I better not wake him.

Goombar accidentally steps on a rubber duck, but Radish doesn’t wake up.

Goombar: Ok. So far, so good.

Goombar takes another step, but steps on a Bread Monster, causing it to bite his foot.

Goombar: AAGGGGHHHHH!!!!

Radish still doesn’t wake up as Goombar throws the Bread Monster through the window, shattering it.

Goombar: There’s my escape route!

Goombar tries to go through the window, but is cut by the glass.

Goombar: AGH! SON OF A B****!

Radish still doesn’t wake up.

Goombar: Man. Radish sure is a heavy sleeper.

Suddenly, Radish wakes up.

Radish: Who said that?!

Radish spots Goombar and turns into his feral state.

Radish: INTRUDER!

Goombar: OH S***!

The camera cuts to outside the door as Goombar screams from getting attacked by Radish. Eventually, Goombar runs out the door and blocks it with a cabinet, trapping Radish inside.

Goombar: Ok! Finally, I’m out of there!

Goombar suddenly trips and falls down the stairs.

Sunny: What was that?!?

Goombar quickly hides underneath the carpet before Sunny can see her.

Frida: I’ll go check.

Frida heads upstairs, stepping on Goombar on the process. He holds in the pain until both Sunny and Frida are out of sight. He then runs into the kitchen, dips his head into the sink and screams with the water drowning it out.

Meanwhile.

Bett is in the basement.

Bett: Hopefully, there will be a way out in here!

Bett opens a door, but it shows live action footage of a train speeding towards him.

Bett: AHH!!!

Bett slams the door shut and the train is heard crashing into it. Bett then opens another door showing a couple of Houndeyes. One of them spots him, screams and runs towards him. Bett shuts the door before it can reach him.

Bett: Hopefully, this is the way out!

Bett opens the door and inside is a very obese butcher with glowing white eyes and wielding a bloody butcher knife.

Butcher: (sinister singing) Looks like a turtle has come into my basement.

Bett: AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

Bett slams the door shut.

Frida: (voice) I heard a scream coming from the basement!

Bett: S***!

Bett enters a door containing numerous jaguars.

Bett: Well, shoot.

Frida enters the basement and opens the door containing the butcher.

Butcher: YOU WILL BE MY SPECIAL OF TODAY-

Frida uses her goggles to vaporize the butcher.

Frida: Not anymore.

Frida leaves the basement. Bett then runs out, covered in scratch marks and slams the door shut.

Bett: Man! Those jaguars are psychotic!

Meanwhile.

Boney is in the bathroom.

Boney: Ok! I think I’ll have to escape through the sewers!

Boney jumps into the toilet. However, AsphaltianOof enters.

AsphaltianOof: Oh man! I can’t wait to let out this poop!

AsphaltianOof poops in the toilet.

Boney: Uh oh. Uh, there’s a man down here! Please don’t flush anything for a while!

AsphaltianOof: Oh Man! Time to flush!

AsphaltianOof flushes the toilet.

Boney: OH SH-

Boney gets thrown around by the tsunami of diarrhea.

AsphaltianOof: Man! That felt good! Well, time to watch Steven Universe!

AsphaltianOof leaves. Boney then exits the toilet.

Boney: So much cheese balls...

Meanwhile.

Sunny: But Yeah, this is my Iron Flower armor that I use to fight villains with!

Frida: Looks Cool!

Sunny: I also heard something about RH making a series based off of it.

Frida: I heard! It’s going to be part of the RH Superheroes block!

Sunny: I’m actually pretty excited when it comes out!

As Sunny and Frida are talking, the Dastardly Three are seen sneaking towards the door.

Boney: Yes. We’re almost out-

Suddenly, the three trip over a magazine and Sunny and Frida notice them.

Sunny: INTRUDERS!!!

Sunny activates her Iron Flower armor while Frida puts on her goggles and aims at them.

Boney: LET’S GET THE F*** OUT OF HERE, MAN!

The three run towards the door, only for Sunny to fly to it and slam it shut, trapping them inside.

Dastardly Three: AAHHHHHH!!!

The Dastardly Three run upstairs, avoiding Frida’s laser blasts.

Boney: IN THE BEDROOM!

The Dastardly Three throw the cabinet out of the way and run inside, but screams when they encounter Radish.

Radish: FRESH MEAT!

Bett: RUN!

The Dastardly Three run upstairs, leaping above Frida in the process.

Boney: INTO THE BASEMENT!

The Dastardly Three run into the basement with Sunny and Frida in hot pursuit.

Goombar: INTO THAT DOOR!

The Dastardly Three jump into the door with Sunny and Frida following. They end up inside a dimension where they are hand puppets with very cheap special effects. For example, Frida’s lasers are just red colored popsicle sticks on string. The 5 then run into another door where they end up inside a house.

Goombar: Whose house is this?

Boney opens a door to reveal Rylan Harshman.

Rylan: AHH!!! MUTANT TURTLE RATS!

Rylan stomps at the Dastardly Three as they run into another door. Eventually, this leads into a Scooby Doo themed chase sequence where the Dastardly Three, Sunny and Frida enter a random door and emerge from another random door. During the chase, the Masked Menace and Breather are seen emerging from different doors and disappear. Eventually, the chase leads back into the house.

Boney: THE DOOR!

The Dastardly Three run out of the house, but Frida zaps them, sending them flying. They end up landing inside of Alcatraz and land inside a dark prison cell.

Boney: Well, at least we’re away from those two-

Suddenly, the lights turn on, revealing Sunny and Frida.

Goombar: You had to ask. YOU JUST HAD TO ASK!

The scene cuts to outside the prison and the Dastardly Three scream as Sunny and Frida attack them with their lasers as the episode irises out over the prison.

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